army is soo tiring. everything they say and do is just a facade. like there's a canteen and a playroom where recruits are given the oppurtunity to relax. yes there are such facilities, but we can't use it. we are not allowed to use it. sheeesh. in the airforce, all trainees are allowed to go to tv room and view cable on the projection tv.... yar. argh, i so hate all the regimentation and all the spasticated rules and discipline. i am one who doesn't like nor can stand conformity (if that word exist). i mean singapore is encouraging creativity, individuality, and whatever; then you dump all the guys into an instituition that makes everything the same. and i mean everything. including how the clothes are folded and arranged. wow, how creative. we are asked to use our initiative in the army. just that whenever you use it, you get punished. if u don't u get punished too. hrmm.

i so wanted to get out of army, i so want to be a lowly clerk and just complete the liabilities, so that i can have more time to see him and my family. also i am quite afraid of accidents and i am just being a coward. but had a talk with darrell and he told me to just go and be a man and push myself till i can't take it. till then, should i decide to declare then it would be more justified. if i do it now, i might regret. makes sense.. so i would go on and try and that one year in australia, its a good test. if we survive, then it says alot about me and mel =p