took this from www.talkingcock.com

by Kway Png

After former Speaker of Parliament Mr Tan Soo Khoon likened several government buildings to five star hotels during the budget debate, the Ministry of Education, far from treating it as criticism, is now launching special holiday packages.

"We would like to thank Mr. Tan for such a brilliant idea," said MoE spokesman Mr. Kah Ghin Nah from his office, sorry, suite in the gleaming new tower off Buona Vista. "Opening up the Ministry will really help us get revenue to offset the losses caused by the dip in income tax."

The MoE has devised several mix-and-match items to form a perfect 'get away from it all' itinerary, such as:

- E.Z., P.E.Z: Getting flabby from sitting in the office all day? Why not have a weekend of exercise with P.E. teachers who are running the Trim and Fit (T.A.F.) programme? Healthy meals provided, so after burping, you can do burpees!

- From Sir With Love: Stressed? Sore and aching muscles? Forget those expensive spas! Come to the MoE and get a good massage by school teachers currently on secondment to the Ministry as molest charges against them are being investigated!

- Spare the Rod and Spoil The Holiday: Your local dominatrix getting a little tired? Why not have a spanking good time with the Discipline Mistresses at the MoE? After all, who should know better about Corporal Punishment than a Ministry headed by a Rear Admiral?

"We're even thinking of some cruises with schoolkids," said Mr. Kah. "Naughty boys and nautical ministers... it has a nice ring to it."

Check in time for all suites at the MoE will be at 5 pm, when the staff leave.

hahahahahahah

its funny owning a strange guitar, some pple have a pick guard to prevent scratching thier guitar, i have a pick guard and i have to take caution not to scratch it.. oh well.. great day today, went for my cca (but it rained) then came home with the intention to play some songs, but headed for the shopping mall and shopped around. ate like 3 meals consecutive (1 old chang kee one, followed by a kfc meal followed by home cooked dinner, and i am still hungry and i am still 55kg.. argh) my friend got an md today (YEAH, MD RULEz) accompanied her... went to body shop and started to try on different toilet water (eau de toilette) now i smell nice...

anyway, i think that jordan is highly irritating. same goes for louie/louis however you spell that name. a great piece of advice, now go dig a hole, stuff your head there and live your life there oki?? now thats a good boy...

alanna, you call that a haircut??? looks pretty much the same to me.i thought you were gonna go cut it real short, like something funkier. anyway don't feel so bad okie? being single RULEZ! sometimes we all wish to be attached, to have an emotional support, but who says friends can't give u the same thing? if you have rang earlier, i would rushed down that day and accompany you home (like me usually do) so there *hugs* don't feel bad k. gotta go now~~~!!!

i am feeling so wierd, i am thinking about my sec 4 love affair again. it seems that he is still stuck in my head... i was gonna say something but i ended up blurting his name instead. then missed everything about him. spend my day packing my room to make space.

its quite pleasing to receive compliments. especially from people i dunno.. hahaha (long story, involving my pic got stuck somewhere else and stuff)

i think i am irritating.. i ask people for their opinion, and say that i would listen to their suggestion and act accordingly, then i take a vote, and pretend to listen, and finally i still stick with what i am going to do (even though everyone is against it). doesn't that sound like a certain govt of a certain country... hrmmmm

i am feeling so wierd, i am thinking about my sec 4 love affair again. it seems that he is still stuck in my head... i was gonna say something but i ended up blurting his name instead. then missed everything about him. spend my day packing my room to make space.

its quite pleasing to receive compliments. especially from people i dunno.. hahaha (long story, involving my pic got stuck somewhere else and stuff)

i think i am irritating.. i ask people for their opinion, and say that i would listen to their suggestion and act accordingly, then i take a vote, and pretend to listen, and finally i still stick with what i am going to do (even though everyone is against it). doesn't that sound like a certain govt of a certain country... hrmmmm

i am feeling so wierd, i am thinking about my sec 4 love affair again. it seems that he is still stuck in my head... i was gonna say something but i ended up blurting his name instead. then missed everything about him. spend my day packing my room to make space.

its quite pleasing to receive compliments. especially from people i dunno.. hahaha (long story, involving my pic got stuck somewhere else and stuff)

i think i am irritating.. i ask people for their opinion, and say that i would listen to their suggestion and act accordingly, then i take a vote, and pretend to listen, and finally i still stick with what i am going to do (even though everyone is against it). doesn't that sound like a certain govt of a certain country... hrmmmm

yoyo. hey alanna, yep i totally enjoyed the play, there was sooo sooo much sexual innuendos, although not everyone got every single joke.. great job. and yep read gaston's POV on self-injury, its nothing like that, is it? hrmm i think pple don't realise that this server is called transient-pain because of what we do.. hehe. oh well. *wonders if pple will ever understand* most people don't get it, and are very put off by it. oh well..

i did a lot of crazy thing last night, shall not dwell too much, let just say that the eye rings that i have now are more than jus black colour.

GREAT start to my hols, will start revising and keep up with my exercise and training (one last month!!!) yepyep, then i am free.

had a great day today, possibly the best i had this year. let just say i felt young and alive again. never had so much fun. went out with a bunch of friends and we just went "crazy". i must do this again. actually after the outing, we felt quite upset; wondering if this would be the last time we are going to have such fun, cos our cca is ending soon, are we will be going our own way. my friend proposed that we write a song, i think we should. so yep, will be embarking on a song writing journey! actually thinking about it, i don't really want my cca to end that badly, cos of all the great times we share, stoning in lectures, sharing stories about instructor...

yep, i just did a major restring of my guitar, about time i did it, then discussed with my friends today about guitars and stuff. went to SIR for awhile (yep will be going off for a short hols in the holidays) and yesh needa extend passport.

and alanna, i love the new layout, in fact like i said i am on my way to a new layout, tori RULEZ!!!.. and hey hey, i am NOT BLONDE!!!! And definitely not HIMBOTIC. i don't claim i am nice, i am just nice!!! hrmmph!

tired. nose running like tap, well broken tap that is. great weather. its raining, for once. great time at cca, for once.

i literally went soaking in the sun today. finally i went swimming. been intending to swim for a long time, and i went there, got a good tan, and yep, had good lunch before hitting home and snoozing off like a pig.

never knew how much i missed being hugged. met one of my friends, kinda like ex bf (as in best friend), cos we used to be real chummy and all, but now cos of my irritating schedule, yar kinda drifted. but it was nice to see him again, and he gave me a huge hug in the middle of the shopping mall. its was a real good feeling. and i returned the hug and dragged him off the the washroom. (nope you idiot, not what you are thinking off) i needed to comb my hair cos i forgot to bring my cap down - my sister insisted that my hair was fine and i didn't need the cap. so anyway, we chatted for awhile and had to go cos i was gonna meet my friend.

yesh alanna. i did not read wrongly. if u call me and i hang up on you, you'll get a silent tone. anyway that's not the point. i'm sure callie will answer your call soon enough.

roasted tomato is gonna sleep!

lesson of the day: do not, and i mean Do Not with the capital d and n, walk in and out of an air-con room of 16 degrees into the blistering heat of 34 degrees every 20 minutes. guess who's having the tap fixed onto his nose.. snuffs.

i want to see that guy!!!.. not actually.. been enjoying myself these few days. i am right again. again meaning that someone who i thought sits on this side of the fence is really sitting on this side of the fence (still my perfect record!) its all in the eyes.. we can tell (cos for the uninitiated, somehow most g** have this things called the g**dar. - yes i hate that word, bcos of the negative connotation - i prefer to be known as a homo. it may not be how that person act or behave, you can tell by the eyes. sometimes there may be this guy with a babe in his hand, but if he looks at u for just a split second more than it should have been and lingers around, there you go..

still awaiting to watch star wars 2... spend my whole day, and i mean like 8-7.30 at my cca! that does not include travelling time, i might add. its very draining, mentally. i wonder how much of my brain cells die each day (yes alanna i have brain cells).

i need a life dammit. and i need to rest. went out with this new guy (nope nothing of that sort) just some random junior who happen to chat with me and we happen to click and we happen to have dinner together and he happen to ask to go to orchard with him to get his headphone and we happen to exchange numbers. ok, so maybe it was a little too coincidental, but what the heck. maybe i should flirt more, to keep myself alive. drifting into depression stage once again. i can't stand it. everyday i get more introverted. i am screaming to be heard. but ah well. sometimes its fun to be off.. side: navy guys are a bit off, a few screw loose i suppose...

and this poor guy here, with his screw loose and lacking shall go and sleep.. but not before he adds something. alanna: if callie hangs her phone on u, there should be no engaged tone, just a silent. and are u sure ur teacher recommended peculiar chris to his class. oh man!!!! is he ***? hahaha

somewhere along the way, he realised that we were more than just best friend. it was great for quite some time until eventually he broke away.....

today was a nice day... had plenty of chat with my cca mates. and one of them is so nice to me (ah faints).. okie not that girly faint thing but you know he is just so nice to me. anyway before i go on. today is STAR WARS day, no i am not a fan but HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN is sooooo cute... oh man he is just so super cute. yes yes, i crave after every cute.. but thats no sin oki, how many of u honestly don't. i'm just a little more vocal about it. i bet with you, alanna is going to drool over him too. and a whole horde of the other guys and girls reading this.. (hehehe).

oh well, my site stickiness is dropping. well after 20 consecutive days of more than 100 hits, it is now down to 80.

this is gonna sound hilarious again. but i seriously think i am going through an identity crisis.. considering that i am only as gay as alanna... hrmm but yar, there is only one reason why i prefer guy (and i am not going to say it here). but all along i keep feeling there's somethin nice about girls. maybe its just platonic. but i'll take guys anytime.

and yours truly stinks now bcos he came home late, and he'll be bathing now. tata~!!~

tired. just a general fatigue. and the hot weather. speaking of which, i must say that although the weather is capable of smelting iron, the skies are just so magnificent, so clear, so fresh, so blue. argh.. the whittish veil of cloud with silver lining and shimmering halo.. WOW.. now that is something i don't often see.. and yep.. ally mcbeal and x-files is in the last season.. sad.. i'm gonna miss ally..

"i think we're alone now. and all i can hear is our heartbeat"

i need sleep again.. so i'm gonna sleep

for you,

Sarah McLachlan - Angel
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it OK
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction or a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the Angel far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent revelrie
You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the Angel far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent revelrie
In the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here
You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here

urgh, i accidentally click log out. but oh well, still in a good mood, so no fear. finally got my fair share of sleep. been sleeping like a log since i hit home-ground. woke up just an hour and a half ago. sleeping feels great (should do more of it). maybe its the key to remain sane. yepyep. actually thought it was a pretty good deal, if i just go nuts every forthnight, it is therapeutic enough to last me the 2 weeks. and if no major crack-ups happen, i might actually be well for a month. not a bad plan aei? hrmm i would not be joining for the next layout! cos of the obvious reason, the lack of time. so i am considering another simple one (yesh i am not that good at coding to do all those extremely fancy layout, mine's just decently fancy).

oh well, i think i should do some social blog since its forever when i last did it.. hello to RD who has just finish this 'diploma' in a sense, and comin back to the big family. and to you to who chance on my blog... JL yoyoyo, more freckles aei (heheheh sorrie) and to the ton of other readers, thanks!!! i got 186 hits!!! averaging 101.. WOW...

listening - Jay Chou and Blurry

life's full of little surprises. someone i know actually chance upon my page (and i thought that would never happen). well at least one pleasant thing happened today. shall not rant on too much here, except generally, woman are trouble. my sister created so much hell today, and my mother.. oh well, its mother's day..

actually i have no idea why, but everytime i blast the song blurry, i end up crying so much and i don't stop. i lost it again today and i felt even more alone. ended up almost dismembering my phone but decided with whatever's left of my judgement to take out my sim card instead. and lesson learnt, sitting on the ledge is scary.. so i climbed back in.. for a moment i thought i could fly (nahz.. not really but just generally depressed). i don't have much reason to go crazy actually, i mean what's so sucky about my life, 3 girls are dying to get me(yesh yesh its true), one guy just asked for my number yesterday, i passed my napha (almost a gold), been told that i had the potential to achieve a perfect score, in a damn bloody prestigious cca, a tiny bunch of great friends... oh maybe thats it, my whole life is so bloody wrong, so bloody packed.. such that i get so easily agitated. PLUS the immense pressure from me to get perfect score.

everybody's slowly drifting away from everybody else. everybody is having a heartache and i'm still waiting for you. you will always have that softspot for someone you once loved. you have to hate to get over someone, but even in hate, you will never find the solace. because in hate, the image of him will be ingrained deeper in your memory. there's nothing much anybody can do. the more you don;t talk, the more you will miss him, so much till one day, you'll break down when you see any object that is filled with memories. time won't help. trust me. didn't work for me and some friends of mine, who still couldn't get over thier ex, for 2 years. So what to do. it may take many drops of blood, many broken CDs (yesh done them all), and many lost strain of hair, but eventually, you'll work things out, there would be someone "godsend" (not that i believe in god, but you get the drift) to occupy your life, though you'll still miss someone, things will eventually work out well, in the mean time, just do anything you want, scream, cut things up, go to that place to cry over what used to happen. works for me to say the least. but took me about 3/4 of a years. but i am finally all fine now. still miss him now and then, but all fine. got over him. but he still occupies a place in my heart of course

oki so much for that. you know who you are so i won't mention any name... btw.. i am only 70% gay from the test recommened by alanna can you believe it.!!!!! haha gtg now

colorgenics never fails to amaze me with thier accuracy

You have exaggerated demands on life but you are cautious enough to try to hide these beliefs from the outside world. You are covert enough to try to impress other people around you with your achievements and at the same time able to put on an act of pretending to be 'humble' - being the same as everyone else. It would appear, however, that whatever you are doing seems to be working out O.K.

You are in need of rest, some peace and quiet. You feel the need to be close to that someone special, that someone who can give you that special consideration and unquestioning affection that you seek. If you don't find that 'special someone' and resolve your problems very soon, you are liable to become extremely introverted and cut yourself off from society.

In spite of the fact that you believe that your hopes and ideas are realistic, it is hard for you to accept that your needs and desires are misunderstood by almost everyone within your sphere of influenceand there is no-one to turn to or rely on. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you will have to make the best of things as they are.

You are trying to prove yourself - not only to yourself but also to everyone around you. There is much that you would like to say and do but the situation warrants self-restraint and that is the last thing that you have on your mind. It would seem that you have an unsatisfied need to ally yourself with others whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to stand out from the crowd. This is subjecting you to considerable stress but you tend to stick to your attitudes despite lack of appreciation. Of course, you are finding the situation uncomfortable and would like nothing better but to break away from it but you don't like the idea of compromise. Your main problem is that you are unable to resolve the situation because you continually postpone making the necessary decisions. You feel that if you make the wrong choice this would lead to such opposition that you would not be able to command the esteem of others. It is essential that those around you are prepared to comply with your wishes.

It is strange that the anxiety that you are experiencing at this time is of your own making simply because of your desire to be respected by your fellow man and with those whom you work with. You are not satisfied. The normal congenial 'you' is becoming quite introverted. This is becoming increasingly more obvious because you seem to shy away from participating in everyday activities. You are refusing to allow yourself to become involved or to participate with others and it is the reluctance to communicate that is the inherent cause of your problems.

oh well i guess i'll have to something about it.. i wish my cca can end soon! i am so tired of it

and i am back! yesh yesh. had a great day today. first of all i am gonna get my silver, i am gonna get my silver. actually i am supposed to get a gold of my fitness test. if only i had just jump 4 more cm, just 4 more cm. but still i am happy because i don't need to enter army in december!!! yay,, its gonna be february or april. yay again.. other than that, i had my creative juices flowing today, did some really funky things which i should not divulge too much in this stage yet.

got a couple of books recently namely: God of Small Things, E.M Forster - Maurice, Anthony Burgese - A Clockwork Orange, V.S Naipaul - Beyond Believe. plently of great books, hope to finish them after i complete my cca. and of course my Neil Gaiman books. must get my hands of all the Sandman series.... (big hint to anyone who have yet get me any present yet) okie okie so my birthday is more than half a year away, but still i don't mind early presents. really. hehe okie gotta go type an article.

and i am back! yesh yesh. had a great day today. first of all i am gonna get my silver, i am gonna get my silver. actually i am supposed to get a gold of my fitness test. if only i had just jump 4 more cm, just 4 more cm. but still i am happy because i don't need to enter army in december!!! yay,, its gonna be february or april. yay again.. other than that, i had my creative juices flowing today, did some really funky things which i should not divulge too much in this stage yet.

got a couple of books recently namely: God of Small Things, E.M Forster - Maurice, Anthony Burgese - A Clockwork Orange, V.S Naipaul - Beyond Believe. plently of great books, hope to finish them after i complete my cca. and of course my Neil Gaiman books. must get my hands of all the Sandman series.... (big hint to anyone who have yet get me any present yet) okie okie so my birthday is more than half a year away, but still i don't mind early presents. really. hehe okie gotta go type an article.

wow, i just realised that i was 6 days ago since i last blogged, or was it 5? oh well, nevermindm, you get the picture. its been a long day! woke at 6 to rush to school to take the SAT - which i think i might actually have a chance of doing decently well - but realised that i was 1 hour early. No it was not becauses i was 'kiasu' or something like that, but overestimated the time. i did not expect that the saturday crowd was 10% that or a weekday. yep so i was sitting there like a dodo bird. after the long, and extremely tiring exam i might add, i rushed home to prepare for my cca. dashed off immediately after lunch, and finally reached home again at 9. yes i know poor me. but in case anyone finds this over the top, a gentle reminder that this is how my typical day is like, with school in place of the SAT.

on the brighter side, i performed rather well in my cca today - when the strictest instructor praises you, you know you did rather okie (see i can be modest) - and i got to drool over (no not guys) but really gorgeous bikes. yesh, there was a couple of bikes at the petrol kiosk apparently undergoing some light maintanence. WOW! those are beauties!

and i got to relax. FINALLY!!! its about time. lit my candles and off all the lights in the house, turn on Jay's Fantasy (btw Fantasy is a great album go get it) and slouch onto the couch and was loitering around slumberland; yes with the gentle breeze and all. oooh paradise on earth.

actually i just realise one fact which JL woke me up to: think positive. what is the point of feeling bad and complaining about stress. i should instead take some positive actions and think optimistically (if that is not possible, think positively). i can still not do all my work, but instead on blaming it on stress, blame it on my laziness and do one piece of work instead of none, then my life will pick up. there's no point wanting to talk to people, cos nobody listens to your problems. ProblemS are personal, and meant to kept to yourself, no one really bothers listening. so i don't really tell anyone, cos the first rxn is : AGAIN?!. when everything is so different. but people would want to burden you with thier problems. DON"Tdo that, its a cardinal sin. just keep it down and take prozac maybe? yepyep. cut yourself real deep and let the blood flow slowly down your wrist, then maybe someone will take the initiative to pity you. awww. budden again i cut myself too IRONY. no i don't need someone to pity me, i know who to look for when i really need it (which is the problem, the person i am looking for doesn't exist). which basically explains why i am so screwed up now. what's with me? i don't know, maybe its my defence mechanism kicking in again. i don't want to get hurt again, which is why i don't want to commit which is why i flirt (so that i don't have to commit). its not because i want to flirt or anything. i still like one person since so long. and well it gonna amount to nothing, but still i like that person, so you have no right to say that about me geddit?

ok sorry launch into a long rhetoric about nonsensical stuff. anyway, i have reach 151 hits a day!!! YEAH!. now i am averaging 80 hits a day. i am soo happy hehe. Mother's day next week, got your stuffs yet? i am still thinking of what to get. yep going to turn my attention back to my tv.