Gf*Bf - a movie review

Just last weekend, I watched a Taiwanese movie called Gf*Bf, which stands for Girlfriend * Boyfriend, a literal translation of the original Chinese title. Spoilers are ahead of course, but first, a trailer of the movie!

Trailer of Gf*Bf

The movie spans across a few decades and follows 3 teenagers as they grow through different phases in life - from high school to college to adulthood and finally as middle age adults. It is part coming of age story, part social commentary on homosexual and heterosexual relationship, and above all, a disquieting observation on the realities of life.

The movie starts during the tumultuous martial law period in 1980s Taiwan. Set against this period are 3 teenagers caught in an awkward love triangle - Aaron loves Mabel, but she only has eyes for Liam, who is secretly in love with Aaron. This movie might come across quite similar to "Eternal Summer" and "You're the Apple of My Eye" but do not be fooled. This movie is much richer, subtler and more delicate. Weaving through the painful love story is a very caustic observation on life and society. In the beginning, we see Aaron as the rebellious teen who believes that "if one person dances, it is called rebellion, but if the whole school dance, it is the student's will". He certainly lives by this motto through college and becomes part of student activist team that demands Taiwan become a fully functioning democracy. But for all Aaron is, he eventually becomes the cheating husband of a rich woman and a lackey to his rich and politically connected father-in-law. The feisty Mabel, who holds her own ground and confronts a shower full of naked high-school boys becomes the mistress of Aaron, because she can't find fulfilment in Liam. And Liam, who is the quiet, shy and repressed teenager eventually dates a married father.

From left to right: Liam, Mabel, Aaron

It is as if life played a cruel joke on all three of them. But at the same time, this is not something too far fetched. As we all grow, we know people who become slaves to the life they chose to lead, and yet we root for them, as we are rooting for the characters to do something else with their lives. We know that they can choose a different path in life, but they don't. There's almost a sense of helplessness as they become driftwood floating along the sea of life. This sense of helplessness is very delicately brought across by Yang (director of the film). There are many things left unsaid, so much so that even the scenes are deliberately kept vague - you need to watch on to understand what an earlier scene meant. A metaphor for life perhaps - that one will only understand today with the hindsight of tomorrow.

This film is also a strong social commentary on homosexual relationships. While Taiwan is fast becoming a gay bastion in Asia, there are still many laws that prevent homosexual couples from forming families - there are no provisions for same-sex marriages nor homosexual adoptions. The question one asks here is why? Is there an assumption that heterosexual relationship is the right relationship which has a happy ending? Clearly, in "Gf*Bf" there is no such happy ending. Almost every heterosexual relationship depicted is broken in some way. Mabel's mother is a stage dancer who does not acknowledge her daughter and runs away to another city. Aaron is in a loveless marriage and is having an affair with Mabel. Liam dates a guy who is married and even has a son, but continues the relationship with Liam anyway. Set against the social revolution in the 80s and 90s Taiwan, the lack of progress of homosexual rights seems even more ironic. If the people can muster up the will to demand a fully functioning democracy for Taiwan, why can't the people do the same for homosexual rights? Yang seems to lead us down this line of questioning with the wedding of the the flamboyant Sean. But a wedding it is not, rather it is a loud and lewd foam party with taut male torso. Is this what the Taiwanese homosexual community is destined to be - a faceless, superficial community who will "drop all grievances to attend a party"?

At the end of the day, Aaron, Mabel and Liam yearn to love and be loved - all their pains come from trying to love. The awkward love triangle has no apparent resolution until the viewer realizes that Liam in 2012 is the father (and guardian) of the love-children of Mabel (who passes on) and Aaron (who did not want to give up his current life for Mabel). It's an extremely bittersweet conclusion to the love triangle - a cruel joke almost. Yet in a way, everything is "resolved" in this unconventional family.

Yang, in his directorial statement said that this movie is about love and family, and that he wants the audience to know that "no matter what shape [family] takes on, no matter gay or straight, the main thing to understand is where there is love, there is family." And this unconventional family is, strangely the result of love.

Go watch it, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!

I am a thankful boy...

..for the great things and people that have entered my life and made it the way it is today! What prompted me to write this? Its this video here:

This video is made for this year's Pink Dot! And it reminds of the many different times in my life, and the different stages I had to go through to be who I am today. A gay man who is very comfortable with my sexuality, have my friends love me for exactly who I am, have my mother who tells me that my happiness is more important than anything else in the world, and to work in a company where my heterosexual boss can joke around with me. I am grateful.

The first scene of the clips reminds me of Jeremiah. He's this very peculiar friend of mine, and peculiar here carries no negative connotation. I knew Jere in PRIMARY SCHOOL! (Can you believe it) but it wasn't till junior college that we got close, close enough for me to come out to him, and it was with much fear. I will never forget how he defended gay men in camp. Jere told me about the jokes and things that his army mates will say, and oftentimes, even I would let it just pass and allow them to make derogatory remarks. But not Jere. He told them that not all gay men are like that, one of his besties (that's me!) is nothing like what they say, and it is through little actions like that, that people can stop viewing gay people through tinted lenses. So thank you Jere!

And its not just him, all my friends have been nothing but loving - too many to name, but you know who you are. You've all been through my ups and my downs, listened to me cry over man, or men (depending on when you knew me), and it was never with judgement nor disapproval, aside from the disapproval that I allow myself to get hurt. There's so much love from so many of you. You've even been through my coming out process with my mom.

It was not actually a coming out process because mommies always know. Trust me. And it started out really as a power issue which then led me to officially come out to her, and boy was it nasty. After a couple of weeks of not talking to me, and me writing a very long and heartfelt letter to her, she asked me one evening what I would like to eat for dinner. Its her way of saying things are going to be fine now. Eventually she told me that she wants me to be happy, and she cannot bear to be like the other moms who forced their sons to get married, and end up with 3 unhappy people and a broken family.

Every time I recount this story I will tear, like how my mom told me, after a very messy breakup, that even if the sky falls down, she will hold it up for me. How can I not be thankful to an incredible mommy like her. And my other family members too!

And things today can't be any better. My mom loves fabby and we practically live together for more days of the week than I can count, and he's been the sweetest boy (he made my mom a Mother's Day card), my work environment is loving and accepting. I can't think of a better personal life yet.

So dear friends, won't you join me this June 18 at the Pink Dot, so that we can show everyone that there's nothing wrong with my love, it is the same love as your love and the same as everyone's else. And tell all the gay people you know that you love them for exactly who they are.

Love,

Scotty

Reality?

Some things only becomes real when they are put into words

Interesting concept isn't it? Although honestly at 1am, I am really not able to elaborate on this very well. So i'll leave it as a good food thought at the moment.