i have something to say, and it is not going to sound very nice, but i am going to say it anyway. the telephone works both way. haven't you realised that since we've graduated, i have been the one keeping contact with you. i have been the one calling you, asking you out, smsing you. if you don't make more effort, how can any friendship survive. i treat you as my best female friend. we've been through quite a lot together, and i must say i was so shock to see that you are angry with me. why are you even angry with me

you didn't ask me to go back for maf, neither did you ask me to go back for the homecoming festival, you didn't ask me about last year's maf either. nor the campfire. somehow i found out that the carnivals were on such dates and i asked if you were going. you know very well my class wasn't a very cohesive class. my close friend in my class has a phobia of going back because she was forced to leave school. when i go back with you, you are bound to meet your friends, your classmates, your choirmates, and the friends would be with thier own friends. and what am i suppose to do. stand there and be all awkward and try my best to explain my back condition and why i am going to be a pilot no more.

and mark, you think he is ever going to be so nice such as to accompany me instead of his classmates during such functions. he would just absent mindedly miss my calls and apologise later. so how can you be angry with me. how can you be angry with me when you don't make the effort to meet up. i msg you about meeting with mark and you don't even reply. how can your anger be ever justified. i really do cherish our friendship alot and if you say some things are better left in the past, i agree, but some things, you don't leave in the past, some follow you your whole life, like how i want to be your 'best gay friend' your whole life

i didn't write this, one of my dearest senior did.

新加坡人不说话，很安静的，就是自己被生活的循规蹈矩规律化了，这不是一个很令人毛骨悚然的事实吗？新加坡没有的所谓的言论自由，在野党的几乎执政的清一色，这都显示了什么？显示了国人还没成熟。政府是曾尝试过开放起来，但就是国人舆论纷纷，批评这的那的，投诉这个那个，这算成熟吗？服兵役就投诉说太吃力呀、又说老师在课堂上不可责备自己的宝贝子女呀、过去那些有争议性的舞台剧、报刊都被封杀，其实，他们的道德教育是没错的，只是父母、前一辈的思想保守、幼稚，以至他们对这些的反抗。其实他们更该鼓励儿女们去接触社会鲜为人知的一面，再回家说明为何不能这样那样，才会让国人思想更快成熟、开放，而不是这样地避重就轻，不去教育反而排斥它们的存在，这样社会很难进步。他们这样的保护法，难道是对自己管教儿女的无方而心寒

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会读吗？

i absolutely HATE SUN YANZI, i really hate her alot alot. she sucks totally with no talent whatsoever. i hate her!

music: tori amos - hey jupiter

this is so strange, many many old feelings are raked up by this song. the whole emotion of the song, strikes a chord thats buried so deep in my heart. images of yesteryear flashes past. strange, very very strange.

its been awhile since i last post didn't i? seems everybody's feeling a little down these days. raydance's on hiatus, fallapart is feeling a little 'under the weather' okok depression. junyi is all stressed up about promos, colin's not too happy about exercise wallaby, or the lack of; then there's huiyi's pms (ooops) and finally mark's still mark =p

well as for me, like that lor. hahah. i don't really know. there are some things bothering me, little things actually so don't worry. for those who are still concerned about me, my back isn't dying as yet. in fact it is improving slightly. been swimming as often as i can (yesyes i have a gorgeous tan now... lookout extreme makeover) life's getting kinda mundane. nothing exciting other than the imac.

actually yes there is, tmr marks our 7TH MONTH TOGETHER!!!! okok its not really an anniversary so i didn't type it down. got him a gorgeous binder with lovely folders and base paper so that he can better do his portfolio.

new haircut (yes i am cuter now, its possible -pukes-)

nothing else.

i have so much to say, so much i wanted to type. i have planned it all inside my head. but now, i am too tired to type. to even try to explain anything. every single ounce of my energy has been sapped. forcefully taken away from me. and like a drowning kid, i can't even struggle. in the its still me. its was me, still and always will be me. i am the loser.


jewel - break me

I will meet you
In some place
Where the light lends itself
To soft repose
I will let you undress me
But I warn you
I have thorns
Like any rose
And you could hurt me
With your bare hands
You could hurt me
With with the sharp end
Of what you say
But I'm lost to you now
And there's no
Amount of reason
That could save me
So break me
Take me
Just let me
Feel your arms again
Break me
I'll let you make me
Just let me
Feel your love again

Feels like being underwater
Now that I've let go
And lost control
Water kisses fill my mouth
Water fills my soul

So break me
Take me
Just let me
Feel your arms again
Break me
Make me
Just let me
Feel your love again

Kiss me once
Or maybe twice
Oh, it never felt so nice
So break me
Take me
Let me
Feel your arms again
Break me
Make me
Just let me
Feel your arms again
Just let me
Feel your love again

go to http://www.apple.com/imac or regret for the rest of your life.



isn't it so amazing. all that power in just a 2inch thick lcd screen. with dvd burner and processor and fans and speakers and hard drives and WOW!!!! i want it!!!!!