Showing posts with label . Show all posts
Showing posts with label . Show all posts

Dec 28, 2011

The Dalai Lama’s 18 Rules For Living

Friends who know me well would know that I see my birth religion, Buddhism, as a way of life, and I really do try to live a good life - I help out when I can, we give to the less fortunate even though we don't have a lot and all that which I shall not bore you with.


Recently I chanced upon this website which lists these 18 rules of living by Dalai Lama, and I think they are very sensible; I will try to live by those rules too!






  1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. 
  2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson. 
  3. Follow the three Rs: 
    1. Respect for self 
    2. Respect for others 
    3. Responsibility for all your actions. 
  4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. 
  5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly. 
  6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship. 
  7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. 
  8. Spend some time alone every day. 
  9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values. 
  10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. 
  11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time. 
  12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. 
  13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past. 
  14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality. 
  15. Be gentle with the earth. 
  16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before. 
  17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. 
  18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Aug 21, 2011

Quote for thought

"Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived." - Dalai Lama

Jan 31, 2010

And January 2010 is over

just like that. Its unbelievable actually, how fast life zooms by especially when one gets into the rat race of life. I can't remember when or how, but slowly, i feel less and less of a want to put down my thoughts. even on my paper diary. it just sorta happened. Even as I am typing this. I wonder, why do i not keep it all inside, why should I even record my thoughts. But these things its hard to say really. I enjoy reading all my old post, cause I like to look back, and read what I was thinking back in the days. What were my motivations, who I was, how much have I changed, have i grown. All this questions, my little blog here documents. All these answers, my little blog here reveals.

To me, as much as to you my (very few) dear readers.

So the cumulation of many events had led me think about life, and what exactly do I want in life. I had a revelation recently, that I am more competitive than ambitious. And that is not good, because my motivation is thus more external than internal. That all that i work hard to is so that I can be better than someone else. Instead I should be more ambitious, in that I make goals that I want myself to achieve, and not because I am comparing against someone else.

Which led me to think, what do I really want for myself? Somewhere along life, I got lost, and now I think i am even more lost than when I began. I have always been filled with lofty ambitions and ideals. Dreams that are so big I believe that I can change the world. If you remember not too long ago, the series of events that I was involved in.

But what about now?

I can't seem to see beyond the immediate few years. I suddenly totally know all the material things that I want, I can tell you exactly! But why have I become like that? I secretly know why. Why suddenly its all about the money. Why I am so hung up about it. Now that I know it, I need to do something about it. Because its not right. Its not right to be comfortable. I need to remind myself how upset i feel everytime I come back to this country.

This country that breaks my heart, that everywhere I look, i see prisons. People being imprisoned by a comfortable life, with no other wants, no other dreams. Nothing. HDB, 2 kids and a car. Period. That thought scares me.

If only it is enough to scare me to do something about it.

May 26, 2009

I was pleasantly surprised

So at work today, I happen to be chatting with my boss before I left, and her little girl (a primary one girl) was beside her. As we were talking she asked her little girl if she wants to say bye bye to me as I was leaving to go home. The little girl knowing that I was from Singapore (and she spent the first 5 years of her life in Singapore) asked if I was going home to Singapore. So boss and I were laughing at her silliness and boss explained to her that no, I was going home to my place in Melbourne, where I stayed with my partner J.

Those were almost her exact words.

I was pleasantly surprised because while I know that boss is Australian, and she has been more than loving to me about me, I didn't expect her to say that. Despite knowing that her 2nd daughter's godparents are her best gay friend and his partner, I was still mildly shocked. I think suffice to say, this is a HUGE difference between the more loving people I have come into contact with in Singapore.

Of course its an easy generalization, but over here in Australian, you can even feel it in the air how they try to accept everyone. Honestly if I was an Australian, I would hate Asians too, if only you can see the number of Asians here! Just yesterday, a group of Asians allegedly murdered an Australian here, because the deceased tried to break up a fight. I have to say that they do better than Singaporeans in terms of treating foreigners (remember how we are like to foreigners - c.f PRC, South Asians). Besides accepting Asians, they are also very accepting of gay people. From 1st July 2009, they will recognize same sex couples living together and allow them the same benefits as different sex couples.

Its not only in the policies, in their everyday language too. Just that day on my friend's KT note, I was having a short conversation with his friend on how Australians do not assume that you have a girlfriend just because you are a guy. They use the word partner, and significant other.

Things are changing rapidly in Singapore, and watching the video of PinkDot brought more than a few stream of tears to my eyes. For the first time, I saw my peers, my friends, gay and straight coming together without fear to say its ok for us to love another person (I can go on a lengthy discussion to pre-empt the dissenters on how this does not apply to bestiality or necrophilia but that is not the point of this note). I saw how much love there was in the air, how there was no hate, no anger, no discrimination, just love. Its may sound cheesy and cliched, but there is really so little of it going around these days.

And its not only during events like these that messages of love are spread. Like I tell all my friends, I try my best to eradicate homophobia at the grassroots level. Day to day I live my life to the best and let people know that being gay makes no difference, my friends all love me for who I am, my employers see me for what I can do and contribute. I fondly remember how a dear old friend of mine, Jeremiah, stood for gay people when people in his camp started gay bashing. How many of you my dear friends has done that? If you had, thank you.

I have no doubt in my mind that my boss's little girl will grow up to love all her friends regardless on what label might be attached to them.

Apr 24, 2009

Why the AWARE saga is all of our concern

If you’ve been keeping up with my post at the AWARE facebook group (http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=69919939869) you would know that I have always been urging restraint for everyone. I’ve no less than many times, told people to NOT write to DBS and ask them to fire Josie Lau, because I feel that it is not right to do so, and it’ll backfire. Also her joining AWARE while breaching all staff’s code of conduct, does not warrant a sacking, and what DBS does to her, its purely their internal arrangement and we should not interfere.

However as you might have also noticed, they have been getting increasing brazen and I’ve also stop urging restraint, and I admit that at times, it gets just the slightest bit emotional, sometimes tongue in cheek but you get the drift. This is in no small part to the monumental damage these woman have done and can/will continue to do to AWARE and Singapore and it is all our concern as Singaporeans.

As Siming as rightly pointed out in his note which I’ve shared on my profile, freedom of religion in Singapore necessitates freedom FROM religion especially in non religious, secular institution. It is only in this situation can we have no infringement of anybody (read the note here http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=69919939869)

What truly shocks me and scares me is how brazen Church of Our Saviour at Margaret Drive (as opposed at Ms Thio Patio) have become. The series of events where first they stormed AWARE’s election (with the email now circulating on STOMP), then subsequently denying it, even claiming to have barely known each other. THEN firing members of the old guard, exclude the previous president and totally ignore her advise. THEN going on a CNA interview vehemently objecting to be on the same show as anyone from the old guard. THEN firing centre manager Ms Lee and changing the locks to the premise, THEN suddenly in an about turn Thio steps up and claimed that she was behind it. All these leaves a very sour aftertaste.

And their agenda is now out in the open, they want to dictate sex education in Singapore, it is all about homosexuality for them. Further to their dictum of women being subjugated to their husband, and that the man is the head of the household, how can we ever believe in them. They’ve also removed the “all-inclusive” line in AWARE’s constitution.

This is dangerous for Singapore because as I’ve pointed out, they’re want to do this because they want to remove homosexuals from Singapore. They’ve said during the press conference that they’re concerned that homosexual is a neutral word instead of being negative, and they’ve claimed that we are mentally abused and come from abusive family. I RESENT THAT. My family has been nothing but loving to me being gay. Where would this new face of Christian fundamentals stop? How far will they go to push their Christian agenda? No homosexual, no abortion, what’s next for secular Singapore?

I wonder what they would do if a conservative muslim group decides that the new AWARE has lost its focus by promoting woman working outside and be independent, and decides to storm the new AWARE as well? Because if we do not protect Singapore’s NGO from religious fanatics, that could very well happen, because everyone thinks that they’re right. We cannot allow these woman to overrun AWARE. If they feel that woman needs more values then as per what they’ve been doing, preach that in their religious institution, please keep your religious values to your institution.

We need to save AWARE, and protect other NGO’s from a similar fate. I urge all of you to write to important people whom might be able to help the cause. Because the future of Singapore should they be successful is beyond my imagination.

Please sign the petition here, and join the group linked above (http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/gender-equality-for-all.html)

Oct 20, 2007

small friend speaks about the repeal of 377a - Gay men have families too

Following the recent letters and the past conversations that have been given by the anti-gay factions, you would have noticed some common themes and arguments given by them. Some of these I have already addressed here. The issues were the medical arguments, the religious arguments and the family argument. For the legal preliminaries of the 377a ongoings, read here.

After reading some forum letters again I feel that there is an even greater need to address the family unit argument that is always put out in their defense. Summarizing the entire argument is Ms Lim Poh Suan, who wrote to Oct 17 Straits Times Forum.

I SUPPORT the retention of Section 377A of the Penal Code - a law criminalising gay sex - to uphold our moral and family values.



The petition by Nominated MP Siew Kum Hong does not serve the interests of Singapore as a whole but only of one small sector.



In fact, the removal of this law will lead to the disintegration of our social fabric, the family unit, which the Government has been establishing pro-actively.



I believe that strong families will lead to a strong nation.

I fully support the Government in keeping Section 377A. Gross indecencies must be penalised.

 For the survival of our nation and the welfare of the future generation, the petition by NMP Siew should be ignored.


The family argument has always been put in this manner: Allowing gay people to have sex will destroy the family unit, therefore we should continue to ban gay sex. This simplistic argument stops there.

This argument ignores the fact that gay men are part of the family unit that they speak about. That every gay men has a mother, has a father, has a family. Regardless of the law, the gay men will still continue to be part of this family. And so what family unit are they talking about? What family unit are we protecting? Are we protecting families without gay people?

Look at 2 different scenarios: Scenario A is the ‘family’ that does not accept their son to be gay, they hate it, they are angry. They force their son to go for therapy (which there is none, as a psychology student, I ASSURE YOU), they constantly have fights because they can’t see beyond their hate, their anger and their ‘face’. Because they think that it is deviant. That society doesn’t accept, and then they quote you the law and the arguments that have always been used. Is that a family unit that the anti-gay faction is looking for?

Or Scenario B, a family that after some blood and tears, come to accept their gay son for who he is, and continues to love him for who he is, not who they want him to be. They enquire about his boyfriend, sends Christmas greetings, talks about their future. And when the son feels overwhelmed by the societal discrimination, all they can do is to stand by their son and say that things will slowly change.

Which is the family unit that the anti-gay factions want? One that will tear people apart, or one that ties the family together? Keeping the law will only further deepened any societal discrimination, because at the end of the day, ‘symbolically’ speaking, gay sexual acts are still criminal. Now if you are saying that you can be gay and not have sex, you must be kidding yourself, if nobody had sex, you would not even be reading this today.

Moving beyond the micro-level of family unit argument, is that the social fabric argument, which also centres around the family argument. The anti-gay faction love to use the word social fabric will be torn, as if society is a tangible material that can be ripped apart, this is philosophically known as the false concreteness. But that is beyond the scope of this argument.

How the society is being torn apart however is never mentioned, and it still leaves me wanting to ask how does it happen. How does allowing gay sex causes society to fall apart? The last time I checked, USA is still a super-power, Hong Kong still exist, so does China, and the European countries. Now it is easy to say that, ‘Well they are a different society”. But wouldn’t that be biting their own tongue when on one hand, it is argued that allowing gay men to have sex will tear the social fabric, but on the other it only appears that it will tear Singapore’s fabric.

The next thing that is commonly forgotten is that with or without this law, gay men have always had sex, and will always continue to have sex. And that makes the entire argument fall flat, in a very unglam way. Since the building of Singapore from 1965 till now, gay sex has always been around, and has our fabric been torn?

One last very commonly heard argument is that, well I don’t want my son to see gay men and be gay. Well darling, if just by seeing another gay men makes your son gay, then I feel very sorry for your son. Suddenly I wonder if all our film censors are gay, lesbians, murderers and paedophiles, because they have to watch the film to censor it no? Also, I am sure some of you out there might know a gay friend, you have seen at least some gay people on screen, are all you reading this now gay? Again this logic falls flat. What about other behaviors then? When we see dogs walking on all fours, do all of us who owns and live with dogs start walking on all fours? Here again, we see that the anti-gay faction’s argument account only in ONE specific example and cannot be applied to anywhere else. As a theory, it has got to be the worse in the world. I am not even to ask if the entire UK, USA, China, Hong Kong or Australia is gay. Because well they’ve allowed gay sex.

Beyond all this abstract arguments are very real people, very real emotions, and very real families. For all the anti-gay people out there, do you actually personally know what some gay people go through? To Pastor Derek Hong who asserted that gay people are not discriminated, does he know any gay men who have been? Does he even know any gay men who have not?

How many of us really know what some gay men go through? Behind the smiles that may be sometimes put up, do we really know what the family situation is like? How many families truly love and accept their gay son?

Gay men have families too.

Oct 19, 2007

small friend speaks about the repeal of 377a - the preliminaries

If you've been reading the ST forum and following the news, you would have definitely known that NMP Siew Kum Hong is submitting a parliamentary petition for the repealing of the Penal Code Section 377a. As a preliminary, the penal code section 377 states that:

Unnatural offences.

377. Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animals, shall be punished with imprisonment for life, or with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 10 years, and shall also be liable to fine.

Explanation.
Penetration is sufficient to constitute the carnal intercourse necessary to the offence described in this section.

Outrages on decency.
377A. Any male person who, in public or private, commits, or abets the commission of, or procures or attempts to procure the commission by any male person of, any act of gross indecency with another male person, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 2 years.


This can be found at http://statutes.agc.gov.sg/


Now this may also surprise you, but our constitution, article 12 states that

Equal protection
12. —(1) All persons are equal before the law and entitled to the equal protection of the law.

(2) Except as expressly authorised by this Constitution, there shall be no discrimination against citizens of Singapore on the ground only of religion, race, descent or place of birth in any law or in the appointment to any office or employment under a public authority or in the administration of any law relating to the acquisition, holding or disposition of property or the establishing or carrying on of any trade, business, profession, vocation or employment.


Homosexuality is NEVER stated anywhere in the constitution that it is singled out to be discriminated, therefore as guaranteed by the constitution, homosexuals are entitled to EQUAL PROTECTION of the law.


With the recent Penal code amendments and changes, oral and anal sex between heterosexual adults are legal, but any sexual activity between homosexual MALE continues to be illegal. As such, there are many people, straight and gay, who are asking for the repealing of Section 377a, which specifically singles out gay men to be criminalized.

Oct 18, 2007

Aug 15, 2007

what about me?

what about me?

#####

a blog i read said something and i thought that it is indeed so true:

"It’s scary how fast change is today. Yesterday i can say i love you, today i can scream at you for the slightest stupid mistake you made. I even saw people’s feelings change towards each other within hours. It’s alarming, i’d say. I saw how a promise made 24 years ago turn into dust as time rubs away traces of those words uttered. It’s sad, to say the least."

#####

there are some emails that i receive that i appreciate:

If we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.
But the loved ones we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own loved ones,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?

Jun 11, 2007

the boyfriend

there always come a point in time when the boyfriend will reassess and reevaluate himself. its probably something everyone does at some point in their life, especially when it comes to planning and what the boyfriend can give. and at this point of time, the boyfriend might feel somewhat inadequate when he realizes that what he can give is far below what the other wants.

definitely, these are indeed just all plans and things are all still far far away (c.f. shrek). but a chopard or a jaeger lecoultre is really quite far away from a tag heuer, which incidentally is still quite far away from casio.

of cos all these are just words and plans, and nothing may come to materialize, but the boyfriend would still be reevaluating himself. the boyfriend must be able to hold his own ground and be the best that he can be, if the best is only a tag heuer.

because the boyfriend knows that he is loved for being the boyfriend, and not for the chopard, jaeger lecoultre or tag heuer, or even just a casio.

Jun 4, 2007

the fallacies of a supposed infallible government; RETURN ME MY $6.2 MILLION

i think we all know how i feel about our government. we should give credit where it is due, but when there are mistakes, it should be out in the open for public scrutiny, no one is immune. we are all human, and we are all fallible. what you are going to read below, is the absolute truth.

According to the Auditor General Office (AGO), the recent audit of our statutory board and 12 ministries revealed a loss of $6.2 MILLION of public monies, that is still unaccounted for.

This does not take into account the outstanding sum under the Ministry of Health: $136.2 MILLION for Phase III of the National University Hospital development project has still not been recovered despite having been completed in 1996.

Nor does it include the Ministry of Home Affairs which charged rental far below the market rate, forgoing $2.38 MILLION that should have gone into state coffers.

you can read the full report here:

part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4

Trying to say an opinion without getting my ass sued off is going to be quite a challenge. Can i get sued for saying that? Probably not. Hopefully not.

From the above reports, and the fact that EDB underwent its FIRST audit in FORTY SIX years (yes you read right), it leaves much more questions than anything the government can throw up. How can something like that happen in Singapore? When our ministers and supposed to be the best in the world (that's why we are paying them about 3 - 6 peanuts remember? - one peanut cost $600,000).

Naturally the STATE times did not carry this report. The state times reported on the Parliamentary debate on the Public Accounts Committee set to examine this AGO report. Why the state times did not get hold on the actual AGO report is still a question that no one can yet answer, and of course we must not speculate!

Of course this report is, as the AGO report said "not intended to reveal all errors and irregularities." This leaves the Singaporean wondering if there are any more errors? Aren't our ministers suppose to catch any inefficiency, or for that very matter, accounting problems? why is this the FIRST time EDB is undergoing audits in FORTY SIX BLOODY years. Isn't the government suppose to be accountable to the public? Aren't the government, the government for the people? WHY ARE SINGAPOREANS SO PASSIVE as to accept that the government is always right?

They are human and they will make mistakes. Are we still going to treat them like super-heroes in white, now that we know that $6.2 MILLION is MISSING and HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of dollars are forfeited or not collected back into the state coffers.

Isn't it time we have proper checks and balances in the government, like more opposition party who would demand absolute transparency, or a press that would investigate and hold the government accountable. or at the very least PUBLISH SOME GOD-DAMN NEWS THAT MATTER!!!!!!

LIKE HOW HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MY FUCKING TAX MONIES IS GONE THANKS TO OUR GOOD GOVERNANCE.

read the online citizen for a change.

May 28, 2007

of regrets and a tuition kid

i really hate phone calls after 11pm (or so) and before i wake up. actually in the first hour of my waking up, i do not quite enjoy my phone ringing as well. understandably, this is compounded by the fact that my handphone has a really loud ring tone. i don't quite like phone calls at such time, because these times are rather private to me. after 11pm its essentially my time, and time with jem, and of course sleep is sleep, and right when i wake up i just want some private time to do my morning routine.

so horror of horror when today at 738 am, right when i woke up, i received a phone call from my tuition kid's mom. now we all know how i feel about her, and her absolute refusal to pay a poor student on time. apparently her son asked why does he need tuition even in the holidays, and she is concerned because she wants him to do well, and not later on in life regret that he did not have enough tuition.

seriously.

who would ever later on in their life regret that they do not have enough tuition? there are many things to regret, like not studying hard enough, or not putting in that extra effort. but not having enough tuition? that's quite new. so now aside from being their tutor in english math and science. i have to teach chinese, help out with art, burn CD for the mother and now the resident family therapist/counsellor. i'm not even going to tell you how pathetically i am paid.

speaking about regrets, something i've read on mr wang really made me think. he was talking about his career as a lawyer then and his kids. he quit his job as a lawyer despite liking what he does because of his children. he said:

"Then my first child was born. Six months later, I quit the job. Mrs Wang quit private practice too. The kind of work/family balance we wanted was not going to happen, in a law firm environment.

I had absolutely no regrets. If I thought only in terms of the cost to my career, I would have had regrets. But the wiser thing to do was to consider life as a total package. I looked at my life as a whole, and the correct decision became quite clear to me. So I left private practice without hesitation, quite happily, and much to the dismay of my then-bosses. And I haven't looked back."


indeed many times in life, almost everything is an either-or situation, an opportunity cost. if we do something we have to forfeit something. and sometimes there are regrets. but there are certain things we never regret. nobody, 20 years down in their career would regret putting aside their career for their family. in the bigger picture, it does not matter how much we've put into a career, because there's no end to that, but time never turns back. time lost with your children/family/loved ones is forever lost. one can go about with their career thinking that when everything is settled and their career has taken off then they can spend time with their family, but they never do.

because the higher one gets in their career, the busier they get. and the day they want to spend with their loved ones may never come to materialize. maybe the kids grew up, maybe family members passed away, or maybe their loved ones are just too old to partake in all the activities that they've always wanted.

have no regrets my friend. always think about what is most important to you. if money is most important, more important than your children/family/loved ones, then you know what you must do. but remember, certain things will always be around, certain things will never be.

#####

Sil: thanks for your comment, its been noted and i will address it in the next posting =) btw, do you want to introduce yourself?

May 22, 2007

Homosexuality - why it should bother you

The most widely talked about topic in the recent weeks is something close to heart indeed. After Minister Mentor Lee made a statement that could be interpreted as either about removing laws that discriminate homosexuality or maintain status quo and not enforcing the current laws, the english speaking community went into a fury. Some are for equality for all, others like Jonathan, Agnes of course who can forget Yvonne Lee from NUS Law school (who is currently going through a tough period from a huge backlash) and others decided that homosexuals are less than human and they should be banished, if not continued to be illegal or a 'sub'-culture.

Now the most interesting thing is that when you look at both sides of the issues, there are far bigger implications and many logical fallacies. Why should we continue incriminating homosexuals? Well because the bible says so. Period. (for an in-depth read on homosexuality and christianity, this is a speech by Rev Dr Yap Kim Hao. I am no expert in Christianity, so I'll let the expert do the talking - please read that nette)

I wrote once about why religion should never be mixed into law. Some may argue that law came from religion, but i beg to differ. The premises of law came not only from religion, but along the way many other thinkers and philosophers and movements throughout history have shaped law. Obviously laws that came before the bible must have came from somewhere no? So to argue that law as we know of today descended from biblical interpretation, is as best being ethnocentric.

Religion should be removed from law simply because all religions are equal, why should we incriminate what one religion feels that is wrong onto others whom have no opinion. Simply stated, our Muslim brothers do not consume pork, should we then ban all pork? Hence the key word we are looking at is secularism, whereby policies and initiatives are created without religious biases.

After removing religion from the debate of homosexuality, we then come down to 2 other arguments, the medical argument, and the family values and society argument. Now proponents of the medical arguments are, ironically all christians! They claim that the American Psychological Association (APA) removed homosexuality as a disease back in the 70's due to pressure from the gay right movement. What they did not tell you is that later on in 1994, long after the gay rights movement, APA stood up and reasserted themselves that homosexuality is not a mental disease and they did not removed it due to pressure from gay groups.

The other medical argument would of course be the nature and nurture argument. The problem with this is that people who cite research do not know the basic premise of research, the double negative nature of research. As an example, if a group of scientist embark on a research to show the nature/biological causes of homosexuality, and they do not find support, it DOES NOT mean that therefore it proves the nurture argument. it simply means that in their sample population, they have not enough evidence to prove nature. period. that is all there is to it.

Furthermore holding a nature OR nurture view is highly simplistic. Research will show you that gender, intelligence, race are all nurture AND nature. Its a case of both because both are so highly intertwined that they cannot be separated, for every scientific research done on one, we can find another scientific research that shows the other, and that is the spirit of academia, to arrive at an eventual reasonable range of explanation.

Proponents of the medical argument will also often cite Dr Spritzer's research on reparative therapy proving that gay men can turn straight. Well I'll have you know that the very people who started this therapy ended up breaking away from the church after they were caught in gay bars and were publicized in the media as one big hypocrisy. Moving on the Dr Spritzer's research, his research was not to show that reparative therapy works on homosexual. Rather he gathered a group of homosexual who went through therapy (they were volunteers by the way) and then assessed them. Now this is a group motivated for change, 97% of them are of christian background, and 93% of them said that religion were extremely important to them. Now the study he did showed that TWO-THIRDS (63%) of this motivated group still had feelings towards the same gender. This figure is higher amongst gay men (at 86%). Even Dr Spritzer himself came up and expressed his disappointment at anti-gay religious groups misquoting his studies. One also must remember that Dr Spritzer himself was one of the instrumental figure who help in the declassification of homosexuality as a mental illness

Still on the case of medical arguments, recently Dr Alan Chin Yew Liang (i think that's his name) claimed that homosexuality is a disease because being homosexual shortens life-span, and by his definition of a disease, that its a condition that shortens life-span. Well it must then surprise all of us than being male is a disease, and being left handed is a disease, and being members of different race is a disease then. As we all know, males have shorter life expectancy than females, left-handed people live shorter than right handed people, members of different countries and race have different life expectancies. Furthermore, Dr Chin justified his conclusion by using a report that shows than being homosexual shortens life-span because of the high prevalence of HIV in this population. For my unbiased reader, it must be then obvious that it is HIV that is the disease that shortens the life-span and not homosexual. Going by Dr Chin's logic, heterosexual men whom visits prostitutes and have unprotected sex must then be a disease, since they are by far, the population with the highest prevalence of HIV.

Moving on from medical to family and society arguments. A very fascinating thing to note is that very definition of both ideas. It appears that for those anti-gay people, they assume that a family must comprise of a father, mother and children. And that if there were gay people around who are minding their own business and having sex with their own partners, somehow their family unit will fall apart. I am not quite following their logic, are you? What about single parent families then? What about unwed mothers then? How will their family fall apart? Definitions for family do not take into considerations culture as well, in many parts of the world, fathers and mothers do not look after their children, it is other members who do so; also what about families with adopted children? So what exactly is a family? Psychologist have seek to define family as a group of people who live together have established relationship and care for each other. You might also be interested to show that studies done, such as that by Tasker and Golombok (1997) shows that an overwhelming majority of children growing up in gay families have a heterosexual orientation.

How does families then fall apart? How does society fall apart?

The biggest misunderstanding is that society is an entity, that it exist as something concrete and thus can be destroyed. That is not the case, society exist because humans exists and there are interactions with one another. Because society always exist, because it is not an entity, it cannot be destroyed. For all those who say that if everyone is homosexual, there would be no society, here's Dr John Corvino's reply "with all due respect, if the whole world becomes roman catholic priest, there will be no society too". The case in point is that either society exist, or, when humans eventually become extinct, it does not exist. There's is no destroying of a society.

So why should it bother each and everyone of us? The very idea of tolerance, acceptance and love. At no point should we discriminate anyone because they are different. We have seen many of such instances in the past and even today. African Americans were overtly and very much discriminated against in the past, today such discrimination may not exist overtly, but implicit attitudes test measured still shows some form of discrimination. Gender discrimination was also something that existed and continue to exist, women were not able to attend institutes of higher educations, some are not even allowed to work in other countries. Even in home ground, despite what we would like to believe, discrimination against other races can be observed, such as sitting beside members of the same race when there are seats available besides members of different races as well.

Why should we fear people who are different?

Even if we can't change the fact that there will always be some form of discrimination, should we then inscribe in law that some groups are less equal than others and hence they should be discriminated. Some people might argue that majority of the population is not ready, but if we look closer, all major shifts in mindset happens at a time where 'majority of the people are not ready'. During the civil rights movement for the blacks, majority of the Southerners were not ready. I assure you that many men today still don't think women should have equal rights, but then should we use this and justify that women therefore should not have equal rights.

Furthermore, homosexuals in Singapore are not even asking for additional rights, not to be treated as special, but to be treated as human. That we have a right to love, and a right to express our love. Why should it be that an expression of love is as guilty as culpable homicide not amounting to murder? Why can't gay men love? There is absolutely no reason to deny anyone of a basic fundamental human rights of love and expression of love.

For anyone who wants to extend this to bestiality, pedophilia, necrophilia, or even screwing a tree, think again. The point here is that this is 2 consenting adults who can make their own choice, they are not forced. I don't really know how an animal, dead people or a tree can give their consent, please do enlighten me. As for pedophiles, we are not talking in the same league, because the law and the medical world assumes that children cannot make choices, hence everything a child does requires parental consent. This is also why children are considered juvenile and trial differently from logically reasoning adults.

It boils down to one thing, homosexuals are human, if we continue to discriminate against them, because anti-gay religious people dictates so, then where do we stop? who are we going to attack next? Are we going to discriminate against people who do not have the same religious inclination? Are we going to use an interpretation of a religious text and come up with new laws (this brings to mind the prohibition of alcohol in the US in the 70s). Homosexuals have been having sex since and will continue to have sex; homosexuals have loved each other and will continue to do so. Why should we then, decide that the lives of others are less worthy than ours, and deny them of their rights?

If we want to continue to incriminate them? What is next? Sexuality cleansing? Systematically murder all homosexuals?

What is next? Love for all? Compassion for all? Or a situation as Yvonne Lee fondly puts it, equality for all, but all means some.

word count: 1931 (as requested by alexis)

Apr 15, 2007

What's Morally Wrong With Homosexuality?

this was the video that i wanted to post a while back, but couldn't. watch out for the parents bit, and the roman catholic priest but. also watch out for 'the words we use bit!!" enjoy!!!

Apr 11, 2007

quote of the day

"when enlightened dictatorship starts to wither away into irrational authoritarianism"

charming.