its always a saturday. was it because i left you on a saturday to come back to Singapore alone? but i am never alone am i?

and every so often, i am left speechless. every waking moment to the second i close my mind, its you.

and i never thought possible, never knew it could. and nothing says it better.


Rascal Flatts - God Bless the Broken Road

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
hoping I would find true love along the broken road
but I got lost a time or two wipe my brow kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

every long lost dream,
lead me to where you are
others who broke my heart,
they were like nothern stars,
pointing me on my way into your loving arms
this much I know is true
that god blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

(yes he did)

I think about the years I spent
just passing through
I like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
but u just smiled and take my hand
you've been there, you understand
its all part of a grander plan, that is coming true

every long lost dream,
lead me to where you are
others who broke my heart,
they were like nothern stars,
pointing me on my way into your loving arms,
this much I know is true,
that god blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

now I'm just rolling on into my lovers arms,
this much I know is true,
that god blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

that god blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

minutes crawl like hours. every moment agonizing.

cold evening. the rain's pouring. the feeling is creeping all over me. i want to be there. and tell you everything's alright. and i don't have to say a thing but just look into your eyes, and you'll know that i love you.

those who do not learn from the past, will only be condemned by it. we should not be affected by the past but learn from it. i've learnt from my past. the past shouldn't manifest itself in the present. the present should not be haunted by ghosts who don't belong here. who i am now, is something you can see.


Daniel Bedingfield - If You're Not The One

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms

Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms

and the rain falls, bring grey to black. blur to overcast

first thought. action.

trying hard to study, but i can't concentrate. argh.

be still my heart. be still my mind.

everything is everywhere. all over the place.

i hate it when my past haunts me. i hate it.

every one of us has a past, and at one point, it is less than savoury. but we all our lessons from that, no?

why do i feel so crappy when i know that you don't feel good.

its been the most hectic and mentally and emotionally draining week. no doubt about that. from saturday till today. ohgod. went to chinatown today to get tickets. well, i'm gonna go to melbourne again! yes. hahaha.

long story, way too long to cover it here. but oh well, i am happy now =)

as if i am not freaking depressed and upset already, i had to get back my mid-terms grade of 68%. what the fuck right? 68%! i might as well just go and kill myself. yeah, you heard right 68% like i'm in the 2nd quartile of the cohort! the 2nd quartile.

so what if i top the cohort for psychology. its a freaking 68%. ARGH.

how can i do so badly? ohmygod, if i get a B for my 201, i will just go and jump down my block and die!

FREAK

why do i feel so weird and disoriented?

Katie Melua - Nine Million Bicycles

There are nine million bicycles in Beijing
That's a fact
It's a thing we can't deny
Like the fact that I will love you till I die

We are twelve billion light years from the edge
That's a guess
No-one can ever say it's true
But I know that I will always be with you

I'm warmed by the fire of your love everyday
So don't call me a liar
Just believe everything that I say

There are 6 billion people in the world
More or less
And it makes me feel quite small
But you're the one I love the most of all

We're high on the wire
With the world in our sight
And I'll never tire
Of the love that you give me every night

There are nine million bicycles in Beijing
That's a fact
It's a thing we can't deny
Like the fact that I will love you till I die

And there are nine million bicycles in Beijing
And you know that I will love you till I die

its the feeling that has never felt before. its that intense rush of emotions that brings one to tears. tears of joy. something that makes the past seems faraway, and far behind. something that brings the future so much closer.

if only there's a word for it.

bliss!

i have never felt this way before, never felt more protective over someone before, never felt so horrible that i could have possibly made someone feel bad.

tried to sleep.

long day ahead.

sometimes, its just not possible to control, no matter how much one fights it. it just happens. and it seems the more conciously one pushes it away, the closer it gets. and suddenly you find yourself so deeply intertwined with someone, and you wonder if fate (or what have you) really exist.

that somehow things happen for a reason.

and that nothing feels the same now, as if its a whole new realm of feelings, of emotions

at KLIA again. well they do have free WIFI here (albeit a bit slow). its a bit early huh?

took the first flight from melbourne out. 0015 to be exact.

melbourne is such a beautiful city and it was certainly the most amazing experience for me, the company was even better =). i had such a great time visiting all the places, just walking around, having coffee, delicious spanish churros with chocolate and even KTV that can match singapore's one anytime, and did i mention the gorgeous jap food or simply the nicest jiao zi cos its cooked with so much TLC (tender loving care)

i can't really say how i feel. its such a bittersweet feeling. bitter cause i have to leave the place and sweet because. just because.

i miss you so much.

how does one exactly put it into words? i am not sure how to say it, or what to say.

melbourne is fantastic! i love it here. its such a gorgeous place! and yep i am happy beyond words. =)

sitting alone at KLIA (that's Kuala Lumpur International Airport for the uninitiated), and it is indeed a interesting feeling to be travelling, rather flying alone. where am i heading? i am on my way to melbourne to visit you know who. and if you don't yet already know who is it, the name's Jem.

and why on earth am i going to such a faraway land, strangely i am wondering myself too. he came over to watch the production and we had the most fabulous weekend together, it was fresh, interesting and unexpected.

photos you say? its a bit hard to upload the photos here. i will be touching down in melbourne in just about 8 and a half hours. really really tired now, well that's cause i didn't sleep at all. and as usual when i don't sleep, my skin looks back and i get dehydrated very easily.

miss you guys and thanks mark jeth and jia for sending me off =p

its been the most amazing extended weekend really. paparazzi was better than expected (well we didn't expect much in the first place since it was all so last minute but we pulled it all together).

and the pleasant surprise turned out to be a whole lot more than a pleasant surprise. it's a crazy weekend with so many things to do, so much time spent with each other.

its still surreal and so much like a dream. it really makes me speechless.

happy.

its amazing what life has planned for you. or maybe life didn't. who's to really say if there's even a plan. but sometimes, things happen and makes you wonder if indeed fate exists and things had to happen in order for the next to happen.

and what's to follow isn't all that bad. in fact it might even be a pleasant surprise. coated with honey and just about 3776 miles away.

you know that this might be the start of something extremely precious when the surprise flies 3776 miles just to see you, and you fly 3776 miles just to see him.

ah.