someone told me its abt time i picked up the pieces of the terrible relationship last year, and try it again. i didn't want to, but it makes perfect sense that its been more than a year since we've went our own sweet ways. so i did as he said, picked up the broken pieces of the vulnerable organ and let it go and try to fall in love or whatever. and the thing that i am most afraid of is slowing inching back - like a deja-vu that unfolds so painstakingly slow. this person is behaving in the very same way my ex did, and it is just so scary. its like talking to someone that i know will hurt me, its like sending myself to my death. he was upset because i had to go home and study; i was watching tele, so i said i would call back after the show ended, and that upsetted him too. it is so so frightening that things are going just about the same.. i don't want it to be.. i don't dare to do anything. how do i even try to get out this shadow that is wrapped around me so tightly. is there anyone out there that can love me without hurting me? is there anyone out there that i can love without hurting? i guess the entire thing left a shadow on me, and it has not gone anywhere but all around me, like a cloth that is slowly pulled over my eyes, so that i can't see, like a cloth that is slowly wrapped around my entire temple - slowly, but surely, suffocating me.