i've so much to say to you. yet i can't find a single word to express it. in my head, i hear your voice, and i end up talking to you for hours, yet when i dial your number, and you eventually pick up, i can only whimper away, not knowing what to say, other than "how are you" and every single phrase that i rehearse in my head, every single word that i want to tell you, just gets lost. i long for you and crave for the day when i can actually see your face again. but i don't want to see you. i don't want to go near you because i know you'll hurt me, you'll kill my soul. and i would bleed, i would lie on the floor in my pool of blood, crying helplessly, screaming out in silent. because you can't hear me, because you can't care, because you couldn't care. the scars that you left in my heart, on my hands can never go away. never fade. you went away. and as you went away, you left me binded and bound by your empty promises. i'm never the same again.

and as i lie naked and torned, and my heart ripped out in full glory of the world, i can't stop thinking of you. won't you please say something. the silent in deafening. 5 months ago you told me you would try to settle down and you won't break my heart. 5 months later, when i asked you how could u bear to hurt me. SILENT. won't you let me know what is going through your mind? i miss you terribly, so much that i tear in public now and then, but i won't let you see my tears, because you don't care.
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don't ask, if you needed to know i would have told you. and you referring to generic you not any specific you. i need to breathe.