i think maybe i have far too many issues.

i don't know why, but i have low self-esteem and i feel so insecure. i am always scared of being abandoned and not being loved. sometimes i am even wonder why if i am worth it. i have this need to want to know that i am special, and i simply cannot fathom out why. is it something to do with before?

i am a mix of so many things.

and i want to try to change and i have changed quite a fair bit, but there's a long way to go to address some underlying issues. like why am i so scared to be left alone. or the thought that i am not really that special scares me.

does that sound freaky?

many things to be done, and i have to do it myself. i must be more secure and feel better about myself. somewhere, there's an answer.