of regrets and a tuition kid

i really hate phone calls after 11pm (or so) and before i wake up. actually in the first hour of my waking up, i do not quite enjoy my phone ringing as well. understandably, this is compounded by the fact that my handphone has a really loud ring tone. i don't quite like phone calls at such time, because these times are rather private to me. after 11pm its essentially my time, and time with jem, and of course sleep is sleep, and right when i wake up i just want some private time to do my morning routine.

so horror of horror when today at 738 am, right when i woke up, i received a phone call from my tuition kid's mom. now we all know how i feel about her, and her absolute refusal to pay a poor student on time. apparently her son asked why does he need tuition even in the holidays, and she is concerned because she wants him to do well, and not later on in life regret that he did not have enough tuition.

seriously.

who would ever later on in their life regret that they do not have enough tuition? there are many things to regret, like not studying hard enough, or not putting in that extra effort. but not having enough tuition? that's quite new. so now aside from being their tutor in english math and science. i have to teach chinese, help out with art, burn CD for the mother and now the resident family therapist/counsellor. i'm not even going to tell you how pathetically i am paid.

speaking about regrets, something i've read on mr wang really made me think. he was talking about his career as a lawyer then and his kids. he quit his job as a lawyer despite liking what he does because of his children. he said:

"Then my first child was born. Six months later, I quit the job. Mrs Wang quit private practice too. The kind of work/family balance we wanted was not going to happen, in a law firm environment.

I had absolutely no regrets. If I thought only in terms of the cost to my career, I would have had regrets. But the wiser thing to do was to consider life as a total package. I looked at my life as a whole, and the correct decision became quite clear to me. So I left private practice without hesitation, quite happily, and much to the dismay of my then-bosses. And I haven't looked back."

indeed many times in life, almost everything is an either-or situation, an opportunity cost. if we do something we have to forfeit something. and sometimes there are regrets. but there are certain things we never regret. nobody, 20 years down in their career would regret putting aside their career for their family. in the bigger picture, it does not matter how much we've put into a career, because there's no end to that, but time never turns back. time lost with your children/family/loved ones is forever lost. one can go about with their career thinking that when everything is settled and their career has taken off then they can spend time with their family, but they never do.

because the higher one gets in their career, the busier they get. and the day they want to spend with their loved ones may never come to materialize. maybe the kids grew up, maybe family members passed away, or maybe their loved ones are just too old to partake in all the activities that they've always wanted.

have no regrets my friend. always think about what is most important to you. if money is most important, more important than your children/family/loved ones, then you know what you must do. but remember, certain things will always be around, certain things will never be.

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Sil: thanks for your comment, its been noted and i will address it in the next posting =) btw, do you want to introduce yourself?