I can't write anything!

I realized that it is hard for me to write something when I don't feel any extremities of emotion. In fact the lack of this "emotion" that makes me write, is making this particular blog entry a bit tough to put together.

I can't quite figure out why though. I mean I have an opinion about a lot of things, well except the Israel and Palestine situation because I really don't know anything about it. Lynette can enlighten us on this however, I believe she wrote either an essay or her thesis on it. But that's besides the point.

So this got me thinking, about why do people write what they write. And some of you might know that I am extremely interested in motivations of behavior, i.e., why people do what they do. So I started to question why I write on this blog.

Once upon a time (and this was REALLY long ago, and I'm talking about like geocities, angelfire era, circa 1998 like OMG old right?) I created my first website, and there was some semblance of writing there. I remember that I started by writing about my life. It was like a diary of sorts. Almost like those you would hide under the bed/pillow/insert wherever you hide your diary. I remember we bloggers even had a manifesto, which is to respect what others wrote, if you didn't agree with the writer, or didn't like what you read, well please stop reading.

I remember that I blogged all about my school life, my crushes and everything in between. Family, relationships, broken relationships and what have you. Then slowly and slowly, I wrote less and less frequently. And then its shorter and shorter, and it became more and more cryptic. And these days, I just post up my thoughts on issues and even that its still far lesser. WHY?

I don't know really. I guess one could easily say that its because we are all "grown up" now, and thus we are more busy with the corporate life, busy in the rat race, fighting for I-don't-know-what. But it is also that sometimes I feel that as we grow up, we get more private, or we feel a lesser need to share our emotions. At least no publicly. Because frankly, what purpose does it achieve right? But then I realize that this reason does not hold because when I feel emotional about social causes I would still write it down.

I think perhaps its just the relationship part. Indeed the older we, or rather I get, it seems to feel very different. On the heart. It is true that you really feel something on your heart. It is a heartache because you actually feel that pain. Even the joy, the passion, the depth, the intensity is oddly different.

Maybe this is what growing up is? Learning to take things in your stride.