If how I feel about my country is non of your business SM Goh, then why are you and your team leading our country?

When I read this article (http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=450063718719) on The Straits Times, the biggest thing that jumps to my face is how disconnected the ruling party is with the citizens, especially the future pillars of our country.

Already prices are going through the roof. Aside from the elites and the middle upper class of Singapore, everyone else is feeling the pinch of our policies. And of course we are still pandering to the rich, the elites of the foreign country, importing the foreigners by the tens of thousands to an already crowded Singapore. But these are the concerns of today's Singaporean working adult, and not entirely that of the younger Singaporeans.

When it comes down to the younger generation that is the Gen Y and below, the concerns are not just monetary. Its about how disempowered and the sense that we don't belong here that we are concerned about. And dear SM Goh's reply made me think about why is he even leading our country with his team.

We (as in my and my friends kinda we) were discussing today about this today and really the issue is not about foreigners. At least not directly, but the issue is about how we don't feel that we have the rights, the power to do anything here. We are just told time and time again, through our propaganda machinery that is the press, about decisions that are already made.

Our policies are all about the money, all about the foreigners and our relentless development. And at what cost we must ask ourselves. I was just saying to quite a few people that I have no memories about this place. All my childhood memory is gone, nothing in my childhood exist today. Anything and everything will be razed to the ground in the name of development. As if hardware is all that is important in a country.

People do not matter here in Singapore, we are just a number, a statistic. Who really cares about the Singaporeans? This is why we import foreigners at the rate that we are. Aside from being able to buy those damn HDB, and the passport that gives us mostly visa-less travel, and that some of the privilege few gets a good education, I cannot think of much more "benefits" of being a Singaporean.

Who loves Singapore? The foreigners of course. We literally kiss the ground they walk on, so of course they love Singapore. They can just come in here, earn all the money they want to, and then leave. If they love Singapore so much, ask them all to become Singapore citizen and give up their own citizenship then. And then you see how much "love" that they have. Hypocrites much.

Stupid are the people who will read this and go, but no country is perfect. Obviously not, nobody ever said that any country is perfect, or that there is a perfect system. But more stupid are people who think that this is the best and therefore we shouldn't change nor improve.

Singapore is a great place for foreigners for example. We do have ridiculously cheap food (but at what expense to the hawkers, we might want to question). Singapore is also safe and efficient, almost like clockwork. But when you ask anyone about Singapore, you will then realize that everyone will tell you about the tangibles, but there's nothing intangible that anyone will miss about Singapore.

Telling isn't it? And food, really? When you have travelled enough, you will realize that there's nothing spectacular about our food, aside from it being cheap.

If my family is not in Singapore, I will really not be here. Because this is not home for me. Nowhere is home to me. I am in a place, and this place is Singapore at the moment. My home is where my family is. I don't miss Singapore as a place when I overseas, I miss my family who are in Singapore.

If SM Goh cannot understand this, he should perhaps ask his own daughter. Who happens to be, surprise surprise, NOT in Singapore

You should also read: http://lacedivory.blogspot.com/2010/10/my-love-hate-relationship-with-my.html

9 full months later

I can quite safely say that, the dust has finally settled. And for those who know what 平常心 means, I'm finally able to say that everything has been replaced a 平常心.

A stone has finally been lifted from these shoulders for the past 9 months. It has not been easy. I must say I managed to have nearly zero collateral damage along the way.

I don't know what else to say here, but that I am grateful. This is why it was the best.

Thank you.

Long weekend and Universal Studios with Mommy

I was not making plans to go out over the long weekend at all, but alas my plans were foiled by the long weekend. Totally wrecked my I-am-not-going-out-in-September plans. I am like flat broke for a variety of reasons. But anyway over the long weekend I caught up with some old friends, and it was always a great pleasure to do so.

Started with catching up with D. Haven't seen her for almost half a year, so it was awesome to just meet and chat and had the most thoughtful service @ The Handburger, Raffles City. They sorta forgot the order, and checked on us after realizing. Aside from making sure that our food came pronto, they not only waived off the service charge, but gave us a 10% discount on top of that. Talk about being thoughtful.

the handburger with pesto mushroom

chocolate affrogato @ TCC for desserts

And on Friday was my friends whom I didn't get to see for awhile, and KTV didn't happen because HY had to go back and take care of J =(

Most pleasant surprise came in the form of a call with news of free tickets to Universal Studios on Saturday, complete with meal vouchers and retail vouchers. So despite my earlier quarrel with mommy, I was sorta excited to go out with her.

Mom and I have our silly tiffs and fights all the time, but I love her dearly. And its been a while since I've gone out with her, so we quickly finished what we had to do, put on our summer clothes and went to Sentosa. It was quite a lot of fun really. We even took a roller coaster. Mommy was so scared though. She kept her eyes closed and held on to my arms so tightly.

ABSOLUTELY worth mentioning is Steven Spielberg's Lights, Camera, Action. They showed us how they recreate special effects in the studio, and the special effect in question is a Category 4 hurricane in New York. It was quite awesome and amazing I must say. The lights and sounds and fire and water and wind really took my breath away. Not going to bore with the little details but I think these little family moments remind me of how blessed I am.

Like how seeing my little brother all grown up and entering NS, and us having a nice family dinner together right before he enters. Also seeing A's family having a feast at the same time, adds that loving warm touch. I guess when we all grow up, its so easy to just neglect the family, always thinking that they will always be around. In life, there is really little room for neglect. I am glad that instead of sticking to my original plan, this kismet of an event happened and I spent it with mommy.

Hopefully there'll be more family time with the rest of them. Remember to show your appreciation for the ones you love =)

I like my shelf

I don't know why but I quite like my shelf. I like to look at it, and take photos of it =)

So August has come and gone, and we're now in September. I have had nothing much to say here on the blog, because words are kept well hidden. Certain things don't really deserve to be said too. And certain things should be better left unsaid.

Life's been great actually. I'm always a year into my work, and I'm very happy with everything. 2010 seems to be building up to be a good year, much better than 2009 was. Well actually it was just the ending of 2009 that was bad. I am really hoping that this Christmas/Boxing Day will be good - for all those who are NOT in the know, Boxing day and I are NOT friends. I'll leave it as such until Boxing Day, and then I'll write a blog post about it.

I'll also be travelling again, YAY =). To my favouritest Asian city, i.e., Taipei. Will be travelling with Jem, Dan, Sarah and Taxi. I love my holidays. Yeah I know I never posted the pictures of my previous Taipei trip, but hey if you're on my facebook, you'll get to see it.

IF you really want to see it here, just ask.

the price of admission

I wish I can describe this video, but I can't. It takes the words out of my very mouth. Its 5 minutes, but this will be the best 5 minutes ever spent in your life

The Person

"I want a person who will belong to me and me only, to escape life with, and I want to learn everything from him, about him, his joys, his fears, family, childhood stories, the sequence he takes in the shower, whether he brushes his teeth as he shampoos (like I do). I want to have to change the code on my iPhone lock and only tell him, for us to be strangers to the world except to each other. I want someone whom I can trust with the absolute weaknesses of mine that I can barely admit even to myself, and make me feel less alone for it. I want a hand I can put anything in, including my own. I want to never have to fear losing this person. And I would devote myself wholly to him."

Forget

The chinese character for "forget" is 忘, which is made up of death 亡 and heart 心 - a very apt combination because to forget, we need to kill our heart.

Back in Sunny Singapore

Well it is not exactly sunny right now, even the wintry melbourne proves to be sunnier and of more pleasant weather. If I had someone to cuddle, that would make it perfect.

I've got some good news, that is in the form of no more exclamation marks for all you readers, because my exclamation mark key is spoiled, together with the tab button and the number "one". Yeah I'll let you know what happen you meet me, so ask me. But I guess its good, since I get too excited often, and end up bombarding readers with excessive exclamation marks.

So I'm in a very good place right now, and all's very well. Why haven't I write more then? Well sometimes its really because I am wondering how to balance what I feel inside and not revealing too much. Because I really wear my heart on my sleeves, and my emotions are out for the world to see, but at the same time I wear a smile to mask emotions that I otherwise might not want people to know. Its not that hard to be happy really, you just got to be.

I guess very soon again, I write more from my heart, and right now, I'll just be skimming the surface. But then again, if you know me, you'll probably know it anyway. And if you don't, then I am keeping a healthy sense of mystery aren't I?

I'm tired now, but I'm really looking forward to next week, and yeah folks, its TGIF already. So enjoy and some nice melbourne shots from my last few days will be up shortly.

=D

I love melbourne!

And the weather is perfect yesterday!! Took a walk down to Animal Orchestra to have their soup! Which is of course great as always!

(don't you just love these hole in the wall establishments?)

(chicken, barley and corn soup)

And the perfect day made me decide to go on a walk. I really enjoy walking around Melbourne, simply because the weather is so awesome, and there's so many pretty places to walk to and just enjoy my company. So I wandered around until I reached the park beside the Melbourne Museum, a place we always walked passed. So pretty!

Happy day!

Lisa Loeb - Falling in Love

The time between meeting and finally leaving is sometimes called falling in love



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_uG6Fnl4W0

I've got no words left to say

so I think I'll leave everyone with a song.




those memories I will cherish. thank you.

goodbye

rainbows

a friend of mine, R, said this on facebook, "If you want the rainbow, you must put up with the rain," and i thought i would share this with all of you.

robin and batman

was out walking around after yoga and saw the cutest tee shirt. robin and batman, k i s s i n g! wasn't quite expecting to see that in a place like Singapore, was more than pleasantly surprised. would have gotten it in a heartbeat, but the price tag of $49 meant that I should re-consider, afterall first jobbers ARE poorer than students.

and of course mommy who usually throws tantrums if i buy more than 1 top a month. yes i know i'm 26, but you don't know my mom.

sweet

desserts after lunch at candlenut, a new nonya restaurant near my workplace, which is unusual really, because i don't really like sweet things, i like bitter things. bitter coffee, bitter ice cream, and what have you. a friend once commented: "life is already bitter, why would want to make it bitter even with ice cream?"

so on this odd occasion, i decided to have something sweet.

Note to self:

I will be a good person with and be kind whenever I can.

I will not be angry and be patient in everything that I do.

My motivation will be respectable and not deplorable.

It's Sunday

And for that very few who now know, I hate sundays.

watch

These walls I've built

are so high and impenetrable, there's probably only one person with a higher wall that I know. And there's only one person who can make these walls come crashing down with only one look to my eyes.

My life thus far...

has been busy. Really busy because work's a very good distraction and a very excuse for everything else that I don't want to discuss, talk, or do. Its simple really. Just blame it on work. "I've gotta work," and its done. And truth to be told, I've really got to.

Because really, its just easier to run away and escape. Why even bother to deal with it. We all know what is the life of a gay men:

Teenage years: Fall head over heels in love many times

20s: Continuing falling in and out of love, but getting so jaded

30s: Work so hard and then wonder why we are working so hard for

40s: Feeling all empty and lonely

50s: Be the rich god father and uncles to our fag hag's daughter

60s - 70s: Wait to die lonely, no kids, no friends, no family left. At least let me die with dignity and not be shitting in my pants without any control.

So if I know that is what's coming up, I should just save myself the heartache. Why bother right? So here's to working my ass off and dying of exhaustion and getting all the material things that I want. At least you know that physical material products last longer than human love.