wow, i just realised that i was 6 days ago since i last blogged, or was it 5? oh well, nevermindm, you get the picture. its been a long day! woke at 6 to rush to school to take the SAT - which i think i might actually have a chance of doing decently well - but realised that i was 1 hour early. No it was not becauses i was 'kiasu' or something like that, but overestimated the time. i did not expect that the saturday crowd was 10% that or a weekday. yep so i was sitting there like a dodo bird. after the long, and extremely tiring exam i might add, i rushed home to prepare for my cca. dashed off immediately after lunch, and finally reached home again at 9. yes i know poor me. but in case anyone finds this over the top, a gentle reminder that this is how my typical day is like, with school in place of the SAT.

on the brighter side, i performed rather well in my cca today - when the strictest instructor praises you, you know you did rather okie (see i can be modest) - and i got to drool over (no not guys) but really gorgeous bikes. yesh, there was a couple of bikes at the petrol kiosk apparently undergoing some light maintanence. WOW! those are beauties!

and i got to relax. FINALLY!!! its about time. lit my candles and off all the lights in the house, turn on Jay's Fantasy (btw Fantasy is a great album go get it) and slouch onto the couch and was loitering around slumberland; yes with the gentle breeze and all. oooh paradise on earth.

actually i just realise one fact which JL woke me up to: think positive. what is the point of feeling bad and complaining about stress. i should instead take some positive actions and think optimistically (if that is not possible, think positively). i can still not do all my work, but instead on blaming it on stress, blame it on my laziness and do one piece of work instead of none, then my life will pick up. there's no point wanting to talk to people, cos nobody listens to your problems. ProblemS are personal, and meant to kept to yourself, no one really bothers listening. so i don't really tell anyone, cos the first rxn is : AGAIN?!. when everything is so different. but people would want to burden you with thier problems. DON"Tdo that, its a cardinal sin. just keep it down and take prozac maybe? yepyep. cut yourself real deep and let the blood flow slowly down your wrist, then maybe someone will take the initiative to pity you. awww. budden again i cut myself too IRONY. no i don't need someone to pity me, i know who to look for when i really need it (which is the problem, the person i am looking for doesn't exist). which basically explains why i am so screwed up now. what's with me? i don't know, maybe its my defence mechanism kicking in again. i don't want to get hurt again, which is why i don't want to commit which is why i flirt (so that i don't have to commit). its not because i want to flirt or anything. i still like one person since so long. and well it gonna amount to nothing, but still i like that person, so you have no right to say that about me geddit?

ok sorry launch into a long rhetoric about nonsensical stuff. anyway, i have reach 151 hits a day!!! YEAH!. now i am averaging 80 hits a day. i am soo happy hehe. Mother's day next week, got your stuffs yet? i am still thinking of what to get. yep going to turn my attention back to my tv.