glenn medeiros - nothing's gonna change my love for you

paranoia, is that the word? its this sickening feeling that i am trying to chase away. and i personally feel that it is downright insulting for anybody to judge me and say they know me and they know next to nothing about me. does anyone sincerely believe that everybody is who they seem to be? and when people behave in certain ways, do you really just take things as it seems. it is definitely easy, a girl that sleeps around must be a slut; gays are deprived of childhood paternal love, hollow love life that just revolves around sex; teenage delinquents come from either broken families of the lower income group or families with both parents working so they lack parental love. CRAP understand (sheesh i sound almost military). point is if you don't have anything better to say don't. don't try to talk to me like you know me and go, this isn't how you should be, or try to sell me your fancy ideas. why don't you listen to me, and screw off.

there are many reasons which unless you know me personally very well or have been keeping with my previous blog since eons ago, that you would not know and i most definitely would not tell you about. things that i don't even tell some of my closest friends about. things that are better left unsaid, but still nonetheless affect a person as much. and if you don't know that and try to act almighty and try to think i am who you think i am. then good for you.

ranting on again yes yes yes. but i am on a emotional yoyo for no very good reason. i can't convince myself that i shouldn't be feeling this way. but i can't convince myself that i should be. i just happen to. and it is scary. scary because it almost seems that i am slowly but conciously trying to control, unsuccessful, my emotions (did that sentence sound awkward, cos i didn't want to type losing control of myself, a bit too strong). its just turmoiling emotions that i need to handle, with a little help maybe, but i must start to handle it. its just that after such a eventful a year, this guy needs to start to piece things back slowly. won't you stand by me and help me do it?

"she's addicted to nicotine patches, she's afraid of the light in the dark" - spark, tori amos