i cried while watching the amazing race just now. for those who didn't catch it, charla and mirna were eliminated. charla spoke when the host broke the news to them. and it was just so touching. charla said: "I just wanted to prove to the world how much I can do, and it's not easy when there's�always people thinking you can't do it and you have to work extra hard to do it�[but] you have to do it. You have to accomplish your dreams." A teary Phil told Charla, "You have an amazing spirit." sometimes people have to work doubly hard, or 3 times as hard just to prove that they can do it too and to me, how many people out there even come close to charla. her determination, her will power puts the rest of the contestant to shame, especially colin. brandon, tall handsome and hunky is humble and really nice guy, he was worried about how the mothers and the cousins would fare in africa, but colin couldn't care less and even resorted to underhand methods to get at charla and mirna. FUCK YOU COLIN, if you win you know you don't win in peace BASTARD MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN GO SUCK CHRISTIE CUNT ON THE FLIGHT HOME!@$@#%$#^$%&%^UI^*%@#T$%^&$%

ok i overdid it but i really hate colin.

makes me ponder, charla is not ashamed of her 'short'comings (sorry) her physical disadvantaged, and she work twice as hard to show that she's shorter but it doesn't mean anything. i don't understand why some people are so ashamed of being gay, why some people are so apologetic about being gay. why do they have to pretend to be straight when mixing around and using all sorts of excuse when they are in the gay crowd. i am not your alpha male sorta of guy and i don't pretend to be, i am soft at times, but it doesn't mean i can't do things. i am not in the army so i don't go outfield much, but when i was in brunei i lead my team all the way and we came in 1st. i wanted people to know, just because i behave like i am gay (yes i am) doesn't mean i can't do things. doesn't mean i have to go get myself downgraded before i enter ns and serve as a clerk or a storeman. being gay doesn't mean anything. there are strong (used very loosely here) straight people and weak straight people too. i just don't see why some gay people just let themselves rot and whats the word, argh forget it.

point is i am proud of being gay. i am. full stop. i won't apologise to anybody nor will i pretend to be straight, try to convince the world i like to fuck woman. NO I DON'T. are you gonna say "you haven't tried, how would you know?" how would you know i haven't tried. i am quite sure you straight obnoxious guy out there can't imagine, but scenario. i shove my prick up yours. don't like it? me too, and i really don't like shoving it anywhere else though.

so why go on hiding. why be so afraid that people might see us and know we're gay? why are you so afraid to wear bright colours? can't straight people wear bright red shirt? orange trunks? no? only gays wear them? so by wearing them you automatically become gay? so what if people see? so? whats the big fat deal anyway? who cares? who really gives a damn? those people you meet in the streets will know you the next week you walk past them? and people who know you just sees a little flamboyant shirt, so? what goes through their mind? nothing much, momentarily 'so gay, hahah' thats it. no more. so stop being apologetic and ashamed and stand up for yourself, if you can't do it, nobody's gonna do it for you. you've seen my wonderful straight friends stand by me, accepting me for who i am, so stop deluding yourself and live in your 17th century world.