numbing myself in everything i can think of. i've grieved, i've cried myself to sleep, i've done everything short of that something which i used to do, but not anymore. but it ain't easy. i wished you could have hurt me physically, i wished you could have abused me till i bruised all over, at the very least, the pain will go away. how do i make all this pain go away.

i am trying not to fallapart.

what is love? what exactly is love? borrowing from lovereally.blogspot.com

* far too often, we give up on relationships because of the increasing demands. as two people gradually get more emotionally involved with each other, their lives just begin to weave into each other's routines far more than often. little suprise why suddenly there are so many more things to be concerned about, which prior to the relationship, would never have been an issue at all. i guess those in a relationship would hardly have any problem identifying them at all. everyone wants to maintain their comfort zone in a way. and unless the couple works it these issues out together, the relationship, i say again, the relationship, is not gonna work. not that love is not gonna work. love endures! just whether its being nurtured or left stagnant. love really is more than a silly thing that occurs every now and then. bringing along with it some anguish and petty issues on the way. we're the ones who make things complicated, not love *

i won't give up. not here not now not like this.

i told a dear friend this, and i think i must heed my own advice, sometimes moving on is the best way to salvage matters.

dear, thanks for all. i love you. hope we can be friends and maybe next year feb, we can once again go out. for now, i will try to learn to be alone.

now i know why people blog alot when things are looking down.

because they have too much time that used to occupied with that someone. because they don't communicate with that someone anymore and there's the hope that he may be reading it. even if he isn't, at least the possibility is there.

why am i reduced to all this? am i not good enough?

张栋梁 - 寂寞边界

我们之间闯进了贼偷走相爱得一切
逼得我们伤痕累累
分手只流两行泪

你说决定错了无所谓就算后悔也不要我陪
爱的平淡爱的浓烈都让你憔悴
我怎么做你都拒绝*

我来到寂寞边界
爱已失窃心在淌着血
男人得无尽伤痛都锁进黑夜
面对背叛用了解还是谅解
寂寞边界伤心人还有谁

我们之间闯进了贼偷走相爱得一切
爱让我们伤痕累累
结局只流两行泪

我来到寂寞边界
爱已失窃心在淌着血
过去的无尽伤痛都锁进黑夜
面对爱情用时间收拾破碎
寂寞边界伤心人已学会安慰

its all over. its all over. i am not strong when it comes down to this. i am so weak.

i couldn't get up properly today. i lay in my bed and thoughts of everything came rushing in. i tried to get out, but i can't. i had to drag myself out of bed to work. my client came and we did the video all the way till midnight. he left. and you left.

tears started running again. how can i just let it go? how can i? after what happened. is it all my fault?

its so painful. its so painful.

Braid Paisley - Find Yourself
-as heard on Cars OST-

The things that would have been lost on you
are now clear as a bell
And you find yourself,
yeah thats when you find yourself

Well you go through life
so sure of where you're headed
And you wind up lost
and its the best thing that could have happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as well
because you find yourself,
yeah that's when you find yourself.

When you meet the one, that you've been waiting for
and she's everything, that you want and more
You look at her and you finally start to live for someone else
And then you find yourself,
yeah that's when you find yourself

Well you go through life
so sure of where we're headed
And you wind up lost
and its the best thing that could have happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as well
Because you find yourself,
Yeah thats when you find yourself

#####
when you found yourself, i'll be right here waiting

i don't know what to say. i don't know what to do. but i know what i must do.

its been 2 and a half years. it hasn't been smooth, there's been ups and there's been downs. but i cherish and appreciate every single moment.

there's so much anger i need to deal with myself. i can't be better now. i have to learn to manage my own anger and my own issues.

i miss you. what i said, i meant it. what i say i will do i mean it too. i hope someday i'll see you again.

goodbye.

broke my record, i worked for 20 hours non stop. from 1pm to 9am, took a short nap and on to 4pm. i almost died. i clocked 16 hours day on average for the past 4 days.

in what appears to be a rather accurate calculation, and at the same time, rather amusing and hilarious, i present to you all the crush calculatorgo on and try it! do let me noe the results!, you know how to contact me =)

cheers

or type in the following if the link doesn't work

http://www.crushcalculator.com/content/love/345619667

seriously, sometimes i wonder why i even bother. after i regretted, i might regret it after all

i think i might have done something which i would regret for my entire life. my single biggest regret. i hope i am wrong.

SHE - 我?你

I have never watch any MTV like this. I cried.

It's like newspapers in totalitarian countries one morning reporting that the government, with much pomp and ceremony, has declared the epidemic over, without ever having reported that there was an epidemic in the first place.

-> in reference to the straits time not publishing PM Lee words that he had to "fix" the opposition and "buy" voters support. FIX and BUY SUPPORT were his exact words. later ST published an apology from the PM office about the use of those words, without even reporting them in the first place.

#####

to read about how CNA could have potentially misreported 2 blogs by somehow miraculously losing headlines such as "IN SHADY COMPANY #1 - GIC" and "GO OUt TONIGHT AND RULE IN NUMBERS" in reference to election blog, and miraculously losing date markers on blog pages you can read all about the potentially shady business here

the macbook is out!!!!! www.apple.com.sg/macbook now in white and black and DUAL processors across the line. WOOOHOOO!

however, i must bitch about the most hilarious conversation i have with ling kai, when she did "the ling kai".

it went something like this

k: hey check out the new macbook!!! its OUT! www.apple.com/macbook
ling: oh that one, my friend it crashes like alll the time
k: (feeling confused): errr, it was just annoucend like 5 minutes ago, so unless your friend used if for the past 4 minutes and it crashed......
ling: oh is it. then it must be the other one.


HAHA ROTFL...

#####
in another story. diary of a singaporean mind posted a most astute observation of a singaporean.

Stupid Foreigner RUDE to ME!!!

These days working in Singapore involves travelling around the region. This time my assignment is Manila. Every time I get assignments to such 3rd world places, I will go to the toilet and curse at my boss - hope he gets heart attack and die, die, die! To leave the comfort of Singapore and go to a country so disorganised is a real torture.

When I was in Manila, I got bored at night so I decided to go to the lounge of hotel to enjoy some jazz - the only thing good about the Filipines are the bands - they seem to produce so many good ones. As I was enjoying the music, some American Filipino came to chat with me. This guy went to the US as a kid and was back to visit friends and look for business opportunities. We had quite an interesting conversation as we shared travelling experiences. It was interesting we until talked about politics. I told him how excitied I was to be able to vote for the first time in my life. I tried to explain our political system to him but I don't know why he keeps laughing:

Me: "See before the elections, the govt gives us money deposited right into our bank accounts..."

American : "No kidding....."...*laugh*.

Me: "My estate will be upgraded soon because I voted for the PAP. Estate upgrading gets priority for areas with the highest votes for the PAP".

American: "This is crazy...you must be kidding..." *laugh* *laugh* *laugh*

Me: "I'm actually looking forward to the fountain they will be building near my apartment...I think they are conducting a survey for the design..."

American: *laugh* *laugh* *laugh*.

Me: "Political podcast and blogging is banned during elections so that citizens are not confused by inaccurate information...we get all our information from state TV & newspaper".

American: "I thought you were from Singapore....not N. Korea..." *laugh* *laugh* *laugh*

At this point I could sense some sarcasm from this guy. Obviously, he is envious of our highly advanced and stable political system. I see no point in continuing the conversation, I promptly excuse myself.

you know the elections is all over, but i thought i would just like to say a few closing words.

firstly, i am constantly amazed by how this election results is being compared to the 1997 elections results, conveniently going around the 2001 results. if we compared by 2001, then PAP support would have slid by quite a few percentages. but if we go by 1997 standard, then it was about the same. the reason was the 2001 was a year of anomaly, with terrorist attack and september 11. well interesting enough, 911 happened in november, and iraq war was mounted only in 2003. so i don't really remember a particularly tense situation of terrorist attack. but whatever.

in 1997, the year was a normal year. but was it? can we all not remember the economic crisis? so wouldn't a typical stupid singaporean vote the safest choice during an economic crisis since our government is indeed very good at providing jobs and monies? so i am not really sure of the reason why they choose to compare with 1997 results rather than 2001.

just a hunch. if 1997 results was very high and by comparision, 2006 results were sliding, they might have compared it with 1991, since 1997 was also a year of anomaly as it was the asian economic crisis as well.

2nd issue, is oh well. but WP.

Constit PAP WP
Joo Chiat 12,222 6,577
Nee Soon E 20,945 9,533
Nee Soon C 14,210 7,527
Hougang 8,306 13,987
Ang Mo Kio 96,591 49,468
East Coast 66,890 37,867
Aljunied 74,810 58,585
TOTAL 293,974 184,544
Percent 61.4 38.6

Strong mandate huh? last time 75% is A1, not 60% is A1. before elections, expected 80%, now 60% is shiok!

3rd issue is just posting on what was said.

the parliamentary elections act section 32:
Withdrawal of candidature
32. - (1) A candidate may before 12 noon on the day of nomination, but not afterwards, withdraw his candidature by giving, in person, a notice to that effect signed by him to the Returning Officer.
(2) The Returning Officer shall forthwith cause notice of the withdrawal to be posted in a conspicuous position outside the place of nomination.

it just leaves me bewildered just like yawning bread pointed out, how could george yeo and MM lee said the election would just go on. there's nothing in the constitution to prevent that. however something in the law does.

last issue. irony of speech.

MM Lee said "I've watched once a government goes bad, the system goes bad, you cannot put it right." That's quite right. once a bad government is in place, its really quite hard to change things, ain't it? they will put up system that will make challenge difficult. and all.

this amuses me to no end, and i am sure it will amuse ling too. the irony of the below sentence

"I think some folks take everything they read at face value. And 10 times as many people are likely to see a movie as read a book," said Mark Norman, pastor at Grace Community Church near Laurel, where congregants are holding a four-week series of pre-movie talks.

in reference to the Da Vinci Code. These are people who read the bible and belief everything they read. at face value.

duh.

in the midst of doing my work, (yes people pay me to do presentation slides!), i've decided to response to alexis and ling's posts about love.

#####

Love is a feeling to an arbitrary person. I am sure we have all encountered "I love this person the most!" that is until you've met the next person, which you then declare loudly that "I love you the most!" But of course it could be true, there could indeed be a person that we loved the most, but until you die, you can never ascertain that for sure.

Love is not tangible, it is not measurable. It is an inexplicable feeling, that at the end of the day, we can only judge by time. Time is equal. 24 hours a day. Not a single person has more, not a single has less. If one is willing to spend time with the person, rather obviously, they feel comfortable with you. The more time spent with the person, means less time for other activities and/or people.

If we spend more time with our family rather than our friends, we cherish our family more, if we spend more time with our partners, we cherish them more than anything.

Love is about sharing and sacrifice. Its about sharing a part of your life with the other person. What is your day like, what are your goals in life, the small talks. Its about communication and bridging two otherwise unrelated individuals. Its about sacrificing time, amongst other things. The action of giving.

However, love is also a need. A need to have someone, because no man is an island. Put it in another way, we all have to have someone around. To run home to at the end of the day, to talk about nothing at all, to have great sex with every day (ok every other day), to engage in activities together that cannot be done with friends. Because friends are not for these.

We can be cynical and leave it at that. But to pursue it deeper, we don't exactly 'love' everyone. We can't engage in the aforementioned activities with Tom Dick or Harry (of Ruth Beth and Nancy if you will; and swing the other way), which is why there are breakups. Not those in the spite of anger breakups but the, "hey, lets just let it go", "alright".

Because hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is.

There is that someone whom we connect to, whom despite everything will still stand like a pillar waiting. The pillar we all hang on to tightly, despite always talking about letting go, because we are the ones who can never let go. The someone who will do the most silly things for you, who will wait indefinitely for you. The someone whom you always accuse of not understanding you, but deep inside you know that he/she really does understand you so much better than you'd admit.

Love is such.

PAP rally at segar road, May 5th 2006




WP rally at Serangoon Stadium, May 5th 2006




*image sourced from sgrally.blogspot.com

As an ardent fan of the Straits Times, i was disappointed that my letter to them asking Mr Singh to clarify why he took 6 days to come forward, and why he thought Gomez was serious although he was laughing, did not get published. Sigh.

On another note, CNA! i was there not too long ago, and look at the news there


##Right now we have Low Thia Khiang, Chiam See Tong, Steve Chia. We can deal with them. Suppose you had 10, 15, 20 opposition members in Parliament. Instead of spending my time thinking what is the right policy for Singapore, I'm going to spend all my time thinking what's the right way to fix them, to buy my supporters votes, how can I solve this week's problem and forget about next year's challenges?" -PM Lee, 3 May 2006##

Finally, it seems that Apple is going to have another major announcement this few weeks. The long anticipated replacement to the iBook, dubbed the MacBook looks slated for a release, alongside the opening of the New York flagship 20'000 square foot Apple Store.

Last note, I am so hooked on playing The Wicked. I've completed the junior level, now i am stuck at level 42 of the wicked. yes my IQ is above 130. *sniggers*

OHMYGOD! read today's ST? money section?

creative posted a quarterly lost of SGD 181,000,000. yes you did not read wrong, a quarterly loss of 181 million singapore dollars. Long live Sim Wong Who?

Rocks

yes sir no sir 3 bags full. how high do you want me to jump sir?

today i went swimming. yes sir no sir 3 bags full.

we will have a country with that tolerates everybody. yes sir no sir 3 bags full. yes sir, everybody does not include gays does not include single mother, does not include people who speak up, does not include people who have differing opinions, does not include other people who do not who suscribe to other opinion other than yours sir.

yes sir no sir 3 bags full

yes sir, we wil achieve our aim of having a society that tolerates everybody except those above mentioned sir.

how high do you want me to jump sir?

in another letter to the straits times. the previous ones didn't get published

#####
I refer to the Gomez Affair (May 3). Mr Inderjit Singh came forward and clarified the situation, and informed the readers about the conversation he had with Mr Gomez. As he said "Gomez laughed...I got the impression has was serious" This could have serious implication.

Perhaps Mr Singh could also add more weight to his stand by explaining to the readers why the press conference was held on May 2, when the conversation took place on April 27. The saga went on for 6 days before he came forward; this confuses the readers about the reason for the delay.

Another clarification Mr Singh could enlightened the readers is that, although Mr Gomez was laughing, how could he ascertained that it was not a joke?

Similary speaking, on Channel 8 night news on May 2, a female PAP candidate replied "sure, sure, sure" during a walk around the Yishun estate when being asked about covered walkway by an elderly male resident. If assuming that the covered walkway is not build, can the elderly man then come forward and said that he thought she was serious when she said "sure, sure, sure"

Upon clarification, Mr Singh will no doubt give the readers a lot more confidence.

in between all the elections, its time for some good news. According to a reutuers news, creative is heading another quarter of LOSS

Reporter Jennifer Tan quoted CIMB-GK Securities analyst Jonathan Ng as saying: "We expect the business environment for Creative to remain tough at least for the next two quarters. Demand is only expected to pick up for the year-end Christmas sales. We remain negative on its prospects given the harsh competition in the market and a lack of new winning products in the foreseeable future."

A Reuters poll of analysts shows that Creative is expected to post a loss of around $43.4 million for the current fiscal year, which concludes June 30. A year ago, the company posted a $1.1 million profit, and in the December quarter it was $1.3 million in the black. However, the March quarter was plagued by restructuring charges well as lower flash memory prices that caused customers to delay purchases.

sourced from ipodobserver.

######

creative SUCKERS can now SUCK APPLE's ASS

2nd part of content analysis, starting 2237, channel 8, may 2

1st news: PAP said that he has upgraded lifts in their ward, and will continue to do things to help poorer family tide through the short term. will give poor family chance to continue with their studies (positive for PAP) - 30 seconds

2nd news: SM Goh discusses about Gomez at a rally. discusses about high qualification but what about calibre? (negative for oppositions)

3rd news: SDA questions why PAP does not talk about big issues but focuses only on GOMEZ, but then accuses opposition of not focusing on big issues. but dealing with issues. (last time i heard the rally, the minor points opposition talked about were unemployment, healthcare, education, rising cost of living) (negative for PAP)

4th news: SDP discusses about the deliberate attempt to make a mountain out of a gomez molehill (negative for PAP) - 20 seconds

5th news: reporter summarizes about WP issues (factual) - 10seconds

6th news: SM Goh said Chiam has not brought up any new issues. Accuses that Chiam does not have enough funds. (read my previous post about the lifts, during sept 21, 2004, chiam proposed with enough funds, using 2million funds. different calculations it seems) (negative for SDA) - 30seconds

7th news: reporter reports about PAP at Jalan Besar. Talks about Gomez AGAIN. Questions calibre about WP and opposition. #wait till you read www.escapefromparadise.com#

8th news: WP wants an ans from Khaw about medical cost and assessment for C ward criteria (negative for PAP) - 20seconds

9th news: Lim refutes allegations about unions being tangled up with political parties. unvariably aligned with the government. union will over power policy. (positive for PAP) - 1 minute

10th news: Yishun wants PAP to build covered walkway. reply was "sure sure sure. sure sure sure" (positive for PAP) 1 minute

11th news: PAP will hold afternoon rally. 1st in 9 years. (factual)

12th news: discussion about afternoon rally. (factual)

13th news: overseas singaporeans concerned about elections. (neutral)

on channel 8 news, may 2nd 10pm

1st news: gomez on cctv, with PAP candidate and supporter claiming that he heard gomez seriously joking that it was all an act. he could not confirm though (negative)

2nd news: lee ask low to sack gomez, claimed gomez did it on purpose. said it shows something wrong with their character. (negative) - wait till you guys read www.escapefromparadise.com (6 minutes for the 1st 2 news)

3rd news: gomez said that discreditation news will be on everyday (neutral) - 10seconds

4th news: low said gomez mistake was purely unintentional. clarified that gomez was never going into amk. added that gomez apology is final. said that there were bigger issues. (factual) - 1minute

5th news: SM goh defended the FTA, claimed that while WP candidates have paper qualification, they may not have the calibre (neutral) - 20 seconds

6th news: DPM wong accuses gomez did on purpose, trying to undermine the electoral department. low cannot just brush it aside(negative) - 1minute

7th news: Yeo said that gomez in undermining the integrity of the system. Lim said WP should have more transparency in their working. - oh my, do they really wanna go that far to demand??. Yeo found it very strange that sylvia lim kept silent. accuses that is is "troubling silence" (negative) - 2 minutes

8th news: CCK SMC PAP candidate claimed he will have more upgrading (interim?) and quickly resolves problems. help the elderly (positive for PAP). 30seconds

9th news: CCK SMC SDA. #bad lighting in footage# wants to have policy to help children take care of eldery. (positive for SDA) 20seconds

10th news: Yacob said raising money takes too much time. said that the most important way to help the poor is to improve the economy. promises upgrading (positive for PAP)

11th news: Khaw - PAP said the most important way to campaign is to go door to door visit. said SDP does not knock on their doors, accuses SDP for having internal strife, and that it is dangerous for singapore to have a govt like SDP (positive for PAP, negative for SDP) - 1 minute

12th news: newbies VS old guards. WP newbies does not feel disadvantaged. SDA refutes the accusation of high qualification, low calibre allegation (neutral) - 1 minute

13th news: SDA is asking for minimum wage system (positive for SDA) - 20seconds

14th news: WP talks about the fact that singaporeans have CPF but very little to spend during retirement (factual, positive for WP)

15th news: #good lighting% PAP accuses that progress package can be kissed away without good economic progress. unlike proposed by SDA. said chiam is still working while he is an MP. (negative for SDA)

#1st break#

16th news: PAP said its good that our union is tied down to the government, so we can fight for higher wages. regarding the labour day speech #covered during yesterday news as well# (positive for PAP)

17th news: survey shows GOOD economic prospect in Singapore (positive for singapore government)

pictures u don't get to see because mediacorp and ST's camera were not working in their best conditioned.

*images were scoured from the web

PAP May 01 Hougang Rally



Workers Party Apr 30 Hougang Rally



Workers Party May 01 Joo Chiat, it was raining



Workers Party Kampong Glam.



this were all i could scour online, other parties crowd attendance could not be found at time of publishing.

alternatively, you could go to www.sgrally.com to see.

just like lucky tan, i like to read wikipedia too!


From Wikipedia
Character assassination is an intentional attempt to influence the portrayal or reputation of a particular person, whether living or a historical personage, in such a way as to cause others to develop an extremely negative, unethical or unappealing perception of him or her. By its nature, it involves deliberate exaggeration or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person. For living individuals, this can cause the target to be rejected by his or her community, family, or members of his or her living or work environment. Such acts are typically very difficult to reverse or rectify, therefore the process is correctly likened to a literal assassination of a human life. The damage sustained can be life-long, or for historical personages, last for many centuries after their death.


In practice, character assassination usually consists of the spreading of rumors and deliberate misinformation on topics relating to one's morals, integrity, and reputation.

In politics, perhaps the most common form of character assassination is the spread of allegations that a candidate is a liar. Other common themes may include allegations that the candidate is a bad or unpopular member of his family, has a bad relationship with his spouse or children, is disrespected by his former co-workers, or routinely engages in disturbing, socially unacceptable behavior, such as sexual deviancy.

to quote lucky tan

"Wikipedia is so interesting isn't it?

Just to add, I would like to say that Singaporeans are so lucky to be living in a 1st World country where politicians conduct themselves in a gentlemanly manner and focus on the issues that matters most to Singaporeans. They don't engage in dirty politics such as character assasination which only takes place in 3rd world countries."

i really want you guys to read mr. brown!

http://www.mrbrown.com/blog/2006/05/different_camer.html

i really want you guys to read mr. brown!

http://www.mrbrown.com/blog/2006/05/different_camer.html

that day i went to the foodcourt, i saw so many cleaners, most were above 50 years old. at my coffeeshop at block 651, all the cleaners were very old. at holland village thereabouts, there's this coffeeshop and the cleaners were very old too. but they must be very happy to be cleaning at such an old age. they must be in the pink of health. unlike other old people in other countries who take vacation when they are old and have saved enough money to do volunteer work and travel the world. such old people must not be happy at all, they can't contribute by working at 60 years old.

i want to be just like these old people, so happy to be cleaning tables and toilets and selling tissues at 80! i remember this show the last time, where this cleaner had to work because if she don't work, she would have no money and our efficient country cannot give money to her although she has failing kidneys and a retarded mother. but i am quite sure that most of our cleaner elderly are not in similar condition whereby if they don't work, they will have no money. i am sure that they are working because the love to clean toilets! and love to contribute to the society.

by the way, our prime minister lee just spoke at the NTUC 45th anniversary. he said he saw 2 aunties about 83 years old, one was frying fried oyster egg (oh-lua) and the other, noodles.

i feel like a caged bird. you didn't believe me right, see i told you so. i have to avoid all areas. so fair right.

you can go everywhere you want to go, but i can't. i can't even EAT. its so fucking misogynistic. its not even that i want to go or anything. i didn't even want to go clubbing, its just that my friend wants to eat. EAT FOOD.

i can't. i can't. i can't. but said person can go clubbing, can go out with random internet personnels. but i can't. so fucking misogynistic

FUCKED UP!

my wet dream just came true, all 17 inch of it
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i just finish part one of packing my room, which is mostly filing notes and sending the useless paper for recycling.

phase 2 will consist of clearing my closet and digging out all those unwanted things to recycle.

phase 3 will be filing all my letters properly into different files.

i have too much ghee lurking in my tummy. i need to swim more and more sit-ups. target, 100 crunches and 100 push-ups per alternate night for the 1st week of my hols.

on another note, i wrote to the forum again, not sure if it will get published, but yeah

#####
I refer to the recent slew of election news coverage. It has been cited by many ministers that it is only right that upgrading be given to supporters of PAP first, and that the opposition wards should be the last in line.

The rationale given, according to my understanding, is that lift upgrading is presented in the manifesto, proposed by the PAP ministers and hence they should look after the residents in the PAP ward first.

While there is nothing inherently wrong with this rationale, it leaves the impression that some Singaporeans are more equal than others.

Section 12 of the Constitution guarantees the equality of all Singaporeans.

As lawful Singaporeans that pay all their taxes, it would difficult to comprehend the rationale of being last in line, rather than random lot drawing to decide which estate should be entitled to upgrading

In the parliament sitting in September 21, 2004, Mr Cedric Foo said that all town councils are free to carry out their lift upgrading, however they cannot finance solely or substantially from the town council fund. Mr Chiam replied that he had enough funds, just over $2million and not $12million as proposed by Mr Foo. HDB granted the request but did not allow the lifts to stop at every floor.

This incident and various news in recent times over funding and priority would no doubt leave many residents in the opposition ward feeling less than an equal Singaporean just because they are in the opposition ward.

If this is the trend, are we to expect other situations residents in the opposition wards are not privy to?

As the government of our country, party politics should not be tangled up with national politics. After all Singapore is a unique country, that focuses on Asian values; just because other countries like England, Australia and America governments look after their supporter first, does not mean we have follow their western paradigm.

In the run up to elections, focusing on the party cause is to be expected, however after the assumption of seats in Parliament, the country should be run as an entire nation without splitting into opposition or supporters.

Over the decades, Singaporeans have placed their trust and confidence in a government priding itself on its governance and impartiality. It would be unthinkable that such impartiality were to be compromised in view of party aspirations

this looked like fun so i did it.

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see me?
Timmy Thomas - Dying Inside to Hold You (Charming)

Will I have a happy life?
MEST - Without You (this can't be true...)

What do my friends really think of me?
The Wallflowers - Three Marlenas

Do people secretly lust after me?
Dave Matthews Band - Crash Into Me (right... i seee)

How can I make myself happy?
Third Eye Blind - Jumper (so encouraging huh)

What should I do with my life?
Death Cab of Cutie - The Sound of Settling (do i see a trend here?)

Will I ever have children?
Gwen Stefanie - Cool (so what is that suppose to mean?)

What is some good advice for me?
Billie Myers - Kiss The Rain

How will I be remembered?
Broken Social Scene - Fire Eye'd Boy

What is my signature dancing song?
Sugar Ray - Mr Bartender (not really...)

What do I think my current theme song is?
Frou Frou - Psychobabble

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Cher - It's in Hiss Kiss

What song will play at my funeral?
JJ Lim - Shakespeare's Talent

What type of men/women do I like?
Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc
Emil Chou and Qi Yu - Tian Xia You Qing Ren

What is my day going to be like?
Simply Red - Sunrise

i would just like to state a disclaimer for this page.

This page practises self-censorship. The enlightened viewer can choose not read this page if he/she feels uncomfortable with the content that deals with sensitive issues such as human rights, personal rights and assorted life events

By ignoring this statement and reading onwards, you have given up all rights to be offended by this page and at no point in time, will you be allowed to voice your unhappiness and/or discontent.

don't you just hate two sided people who just have to pretend to be 'it'. so what if you are not the 'it' one, does it really matter. it is just so irritating to have "oh my god they rock, they are so good" then on another occasion it just becomes "they suck its crappy" just at the turn of the head. just because. just because of the extreme desire to be extremely different. no rhyme or reason. if they have it, its "so cool" or "its so hot", but when someone else has it, it suddenly becomes (cue affected tone) "thats so 2 hours ago"

its just bothers me that it is not casual for self entertainment bitching. its so two faced. gross. at least when i say something, i say the same behind the person's back and in front of the person. painfully honest yeah, but at least that much less hypocritical

reading about deforestation really gets to you. coupled with being bruised in exams, really dampens the mood. i left early simply because there was nothing else to write. everything i knew i wrote, i could not have arm-twisted any more facts out of my brain.

simply fell apart last night from studying. screamed my head off. first time i lost my head mugging huh. and the most embarassing thing was that halfway through the exams, i realised i didn't study one chapter. one out of 10. 10% gone. the girl next to me almost handed up a blank script.

double major in psych still?

i swear that this is the first i felt so dumbfounded as i sat there and digested the exam questions. i was motionless for about 5 minutes and i realised i don't have too much time to think. It was all within expectations, but the questions were so specific its hard to wring your way and arm-twist an argument without having concrete facts as required by the exams.

hope i do well. i absolutely cannot get a B, if i must endeavour on with my double major (which is nothing like SMU's double degree where they have overlapping modules) i need a helluva 13 extra modules which means i need to chalk up 29 more credits than normal people before i get my 2nd major, this also means i have to overload each semester and max out my summer sessions.

fantastic aei?

The funniest ms swan video i've seen to date

exams started yesterday. an alright start i must say. but i SUed the subject, so it doesn't really matter. Its just Satisfactory/Unsatisfactory. No ABCDEF to freak me out. I am too concerned about my grades. I went hysterical knowing i got a B for my term paper and presentation, but i was very upset because i don't think i deserve a B, it is the worse grade i've got. B. my only other B was an annotated biblio i did the night before; others spent weeks doing it. so i derserved that B. but for this, its just intsructor bias. She hates my political view, she says i am cynical, therefore i don't deserve an A. is it a crime to be cynical? am i not the product of this country that made me so anti-establishment, so cynical. i could murder that bitch. i must get my A!!!!! if i don't get 4.2 and above for this GPA and don't make dean's list i think i would just go and hang myself.

why? because all my fucking friends are scholars who are overseas. if they are in singapore they are all lawyers or people with 4.7 for their GPA in SMU they get 3.9. They have their own cars and mansions and i am just freaking loser. not because my parents can't provide for me (i will always provide for myself, if my dad can't afford a car, i'll get my own when i work)

pardon me, exam stress. a strange classmate who gets better grades than me told a friend that he thinks i am smart. i can play, i can skip lessons and i get my grades. he claims he's just a mugger. you know how i wish i was perfect. good skin, good figure, play fantastic guitar get my good grades and have a life too. i want to do everything. rich doesn't count because that is parents, i don't want to depend on my parents for my own narcissistic desires.

and every fucking single day of my life, i will kick myself in the ass for having a slipped disc. for not being able to be the pilot that i could be. and every single fucking day, seeing everyone with their wings on, hearing the plane roar past, hear all the amazing stories, i will feel that slightest want to just tear.

I quote you section 12 of the Constitution of The Republic of Singapore

Equal protection
12. ?(1) All persons are equal before the law and entitled to the equal protection of the law.
(2) Except as expressly authorised by this Constitution, there shall be no discrimination against citizens of Singapore on the ground only of religion, race, descent or place of birth in any law or in the appointment to any office or employment under a public authority or in the administration of any law relating to the acquisition, holding or disposition of property or the establishing or carrying on of any trade, business, profession, vocation or employment.
(3) This Article does not invalidate or prohibit ?
(a) any provision regulating personal law; or
(b) any provision or practice restricting office or employment connected with the affairs of any religion, or of an institution managed by a group professing any religion, to persons professing that religion.

#####

Everybody is fair and equal it seems,

So when PM Lee says "Whenever it comes to upgrading between the PAP and the opposition ward, it has to be the PAP first or else how do we explain to voters that they supported us and we did not pay attention to their needs? So that remains the policy. In Hougang and Potong Pasir, I think both Eric and Sitoh have ideas on what they want to do for their constituencies and these ideas include upgrading."

here http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/198692/1/.html

and SM Goh says :"My own view is Hougang should be upgraded, otherwise another five years, another 10 years, it would become rather derelict compared to other estates in Singapore."

"He is worried that the opposition wards of Hougang and Potong Pasir would be left behind. "
"After that, we got to ask ourselves whether the estate is worthwhile upgrading. I'm talking about Lorong 8. By then, the estate would be around 35 years old and the lease is only 99 years, so economically, is it worthwhile?
"My own view is Hougang should be upgraded, otherwise another five years, another 10 years, it would become rather derelict compared to other estates in Singapore."

here http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/199982/1/.html

and here http://sg.news.yahoo.com/060326/5/singapore199982.html

it sounded as if the opposition wards will not get any upgrades and will be less likely to be in line for government subsidies

everytime i watch the news or read the news the more disappointed i get. i get increasingly angry and totally fed-up. ain't the media suppose to report the news and not fabricate it? or angle it such that obviously someone is better off than the others. what is the point. OMG!

the frequency of my posting have not been amazing huh. oh well, life's an endless routine of mundanes with hilarious nuggets of scenes flashing in between on the long trecherous journey to death. exams are just around the bend, i mean seriously if you peeked over the corner, you can see my papers lining up. like those armarda of army contingents from world war 1. no rest in sight. and to top it up, i am feeling sick!

i can't take all this alone. i am not superman. i need somebody too.

"I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird...I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you conceed
Even Heroes have the right to dream

It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me

It’s not easy to be me" - Superman, Five for Fighting

something that always disturbs me to no end is how certain people can actually say that the killing as humane. As if killing can ever be humane. What exactly is humane; if humane means compassion as only a human can show, then i suppose its not that far off since humans are the only ones that can torture abuse and kill another fellow human, and/or animals without feeling anything about it.

i think the only species that ever deserves to go extinct is human. May we all kill ourselves soon so that the earth can be in peace once again.

i m happy.

click here for a book every singaporean must have.

amazon's best seller in number one and two place. varying from time to time, 3 years after it is published.

buy it!

some shows like 'my brother' can really move any man to tears. its so amazing, how such a simple show can be so powerful. sob sob.

As taken off sgforums here http://politics.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=100015&page=0

July 2004

POTONG PASIR TOWN CENTRE
(Lift Upgrading Programme)

8. Mr Chiam See Tong asked the Minister for National Development whether, in the light of the recent National Day Rally speech where the Prime Minister said that Singapore must take good care of its senior citizens, his Ministry will now allow the Potong Pasir Town Council to make lifts stop at every floor in all the blocks of flats that are currently undergoing the town council's Lift Upgrading Programme.

The Minister of State for National Development (Mr Cedric Foo Chee Keng) (for the Minister for National Development): Mr Speaker, Sir, all town councils, including the Potong Pasir Town Council, are free to carry out their own Lift Upgrading Programme which may include providing for lift access on every floor. What they cannot do is to finance such major upgrading works solely or substantially from town council funds. Let me explain.

Town councils (TCs) are largely funded by service and conservancy charges (S&CC) collected from residents as well as grants from the Government. The Government has to ensure that TCs use these funds prudently for the benefit of the majority of their residents over the long term. This is why TCs are required by the Town Councils Act to lock away 30% to 35% of their funds into a sinking fund, to ensure that they have adequate funds in the long term to do major cyclical works like repainting, re-roofing, replacing lifts and replacing water-supply systems. The remaining 65% to 70% of the funds are used for routine operating expenditure, such as cleaning, repairs and utility charges.

Lift upgrading works which will enable lifts to stop at every floor are major structural upgrading. They are very costly. Town councils' funds are neither intended nor adequate for this purpose. Therefore, under the Government's Lift Upgrading Programme, town councils fund only a small portion of the total cost and the bulk of the cost is borne by the Government.

Mr Chiam See Tong (Potong Pasir): Sir, I have got two supplementary questions for the Minister of State. What are the reasons for HDB in not allowing lifts to stop at every floor at Lorong 8, Toa Payoh, of the Potong Pasir Constituency? And will HDB Lift Upgrading Programme be implemented at Potong Pasir estate?

Mr Cedric Foo Chee Keng: Sir, as I said earlier, town councils are free to do major upgrading programme for the lifts, including providing for lifts to stop at every floor. However, the town councils cannot use town council's funds to substantially finance such upgrading works. If I may refer the Member to the Potong Pasir Town Council's accounts, just as an example. Potong Pasir has a balance of $8 million in its sinking fund. If he does the cyclical repairs for the 12 blocks that he is right now doing, it will cost him $4 million. So he would have $4 million left. But if he were to do upgrading in a manner which allows lifts to stop at every floor, that would cost another $12 million for this LUP, which means he will be short of $8 million. So the Potong Pasir Town Council really does not have sufficient balance in its sinking fund to do major lift upgrading works.

Sir, the Member's second question is whether or not Potong Pasir Town Council will get the Government's Lift Upgrading Programme. To-date, the Government has done about 600 blocks of LUP and there are about 3,000 eligible blocks remaining. So we have completed roughly 17%. Lift upgrading is selected based on several criteria, ie, the block configuration, the needs of the residents, the geographical spread, and also the degree of support from the residents. We need to bear in mind that it is the whole range of Government policies and programmes that bring about budget surpluses that allow us to do such improvement programmes. Hence, all things being equal, residents who support and vote for the Government policies would be given higher priority in upgrading.

Mr Chiam See Tong: With due respect to the Minister of State, I have been the Chairman of the Potong Pasir Town Council for 15 years now. And I think we know what funds can be used for lift upgrading and what funds cannot be used. I can assure the Minister of State that we do have sufficient funds in the sinking fund to carry out both our Lift Upgrading Programme at Lorong 8, Toa Payoh, and also the R&R works that we are going to do at Potong Pasir estate. Of course, we have to get permission from HDB to do our lift upgrading at Lorong 8, Toa Payoh. But the HDB specifically says, "Ok, you can go ahead and do lift upgrading.", but they do not allow us to make the lifts to stop at every floor. So I want to know what is the reason. We do not spend $12 million, as the Minister has said. The lift upgrading for 29 lifts only cost us just over $2 million. I do not know where he gets his figures from.

Mr Cedric Foo Chee Keng: Sir, as I said earlier, the town councils are free to do lift upgrading, including providing for lift access to every floor. What it cannot do is to use the sinking fund for such major structural works which include lift stops at every floor. And this is quite plain. Sinking fund is provided for all sorts of cyclical works, not just lift upgrading works. It could be replacement of lifts, water systems, and so forth. So if a particular town council were to use its sinking fund purely to do major structural upgrading works, like allowing lifts to stop at every floor, then it would be an inappropriate use of the sinking fund. Just a back-of-the-envelope calculation, for a 4-room flat, the Member would know that we collect about $50 per month for S&CC. So multiply that by 12, it is about $600 a year. And if one-third of $600 is set aside for sinking fund, that is $200. To do a lift upgrading programme which allows a lift to stop at every floor would cost per benefiting unit something like $4,000 at the lowest, that is, for common corridor type of flats. You take $4,000 and divide by 200, it will take you 20 years. You will have to collect 20 years of sinking fund from the residents.

Mr Chiam also has six segmented blocks and those cost a lot more, six times more or $24,000 to do lift upgrading works per benefiting unit. This means 20 x 6, or 120 years of collection of sinking fund from the residents before such works can be completed. So I think my numbers are clear. We have done our research. It will be very difficult and inappropriate for the town council to use its sinking fund for such purposes.

Mr Chiam See Tong: I think the Minister of State does not know what is happening at Lorong 8, Toa Payoh. When I said lift upgrading, actually what we are doing is replacing all the lifts there. We are ripping off all the old lifts which are about 30 years old, throwing them away and putting new computerised motors in them. And all these are paid for from the sinking fund. We have checked with HDB and we are allowed to use the sinking fund to replace the lifts, and I believe the Minister also said that earlier. When we talk of upgrading, it is a general term, but what we are actually doing is that we are replacing all the lifts there, and we do have enough funds for them. As I said, the total cost is just over $2 million. As the Minister has mentioned, we have got $8 million. I think we do have enough money. The point is that we have replaced the lifts in its present situation ---

Mr Speaker: Mr Chiam, you are making a speech. What is your question?

Mr Chiam See Tong: I still want to know the reasons why we are not allowed to make the lift to stop at every floor, especially the point block flats. No reasons are given. They said, we cannot. Why? We have got enough money.

Mr Cedric Foo Chee Keng: Sir, Mr Chiam maintains that the Potong Pasir Town Council has enough money. It is granted that they have enough money to do the normal cyclical works which may even include replacement of the lifts. But what he is suggesting now is to allow the lift to stop at every floor. What that means is that you will have to do major structural works, creating lift landings where there are none today, knocking off part of the walls to create the lift landing. And for the six segmented blocks that Mr Chiam has in Toa Payoh Lorong 8, of which I have visited, he will need to create extra lift shafts on top of just creating the access to every floor. And our estimation - and we have much experience in doing lift upgrading works - for a single segmented block is that the lift shafts would cost $1.8 million or so. And upgrading of the lift landing to serve every floor is about $400,000. So the total cost is $2.2 million. So that is $24,000 per unit, considering the number of benefiting units there. So as I have just calculated, if he wants to use S&CC for this purpose, then he will need to collect 120 years worth of S&CC funds from his residents just to do this major lift upgrading work, which is clearly inappropriate because the town council would still need to commit the sinking fund for all other kinds of works that it needs to do in its cyclical repairs.

Mr Speaker: Mr Chiam, is it the same question? Otherwise, we can go on to the next question.

Mr Chiam See Tong: We need some explanation.

Mr Speaker: You are not specific. What is your question?

Mr Chiam See Tong: It is still the same question.

Mr Speaker: If it is the same question, the same answer will be given.

Mr Chiam See Tong: The point is that now the Minister mentions the segmented blocks. What we wrote to HDB was only for the point blocks for the lifts to stop at every floor. And at the moment, our contract price with the contractors is that the lifts are put in place with the machine to stop at every floor. So when permission is given, what we need to do is just to knock a hole in the wall, make a door for the lift to stop. It is easily adjusted. So the cost would not be as great as what the Minister says. I cannot give him offhand how much the contractors will charge us for knocking down the walls at every floor. But that is the situation and we do have enough money. So the money is not the question. But we still do not know the reasons why permission is not given.

Mr Cedric Foo Chee Keng: Sir, even for point blocks, HDB's experience, after conducting over 600 blocks of LUP, shows that it costs something like $600,000. Therefore, for the benefiting units there, it would cost about $8,000 per benefiting unit. So let me repeat again. If it is $8,000, it would take 40 years to collect S&CC charges. Moreover, if the Member proceeds to do so just for the six point blocks, even if it costs $600,000 per block and multiply it by 6, that is $3.6 million. That would be almost half the $8 million that the Member would have. The Member would have to justify to the rest of the residents why half of the sinking funds is committed to benefit only six blocks out of the 61 blocks that he has at Potong Pasir.

Mr Chiam See Tong rose ---

Mr Speaker: Mr Chiam, I think you are looking at it from a different perspective. I doubt we can resolve this. You will be getting the same answer anyway.

Mr Chiam See Tong: I am asking a straightforward question. Permission is not given to Potong Pasir for the lifts to stop at every floor. Is it because it is an Opposition ward?

Mr Speaker: I suggest we go to the next Question. Mdm Ho Geok Choo.

i have to protect you, no matter what it takes. even if it means i have to hurt myself. i have to protect you.

he died this morning, at 1040 in his dreams. this space will be closed till further notice. he would like to thank you for all the memories. take care.

ALICE: I amuse you but I bore you.
DAN: No. No.
ALICE: You did love me?
DAN: I'll always love you. I hate hurting you.
ALICE: Why are you?
DAN: Because I'm selfish. And I think I'll be happier with her.
ALICE: You won't. You'll miss me. No one will ever love you as much as I do. Why isn't love enough?


"Don't say it. Don't you fucking say "You're too good for me." I am, but don't say it. You're making the mistake of your life. You're leaving me because you believe that you don't deserve happiness, but you do, Anna."
- Larry to Anna.

i went clubbing. yes i did. OMG right? woohooo! lesson 1: it is very fun to club with my dear! hugs. lesson 2: some people are just not cut out to dance, especially those who are flinging their stuff on stage. GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME. will update more tmr. nites folks

新年快乐！
Happy CNY folks. Hope its been great with plenty of ang paos! well this year's taking has been the same as last year. the rates are thereabouts. but this year CNY was a bit more fun, went to KTV with my cousins. and i spent a good amount of time talking to my grandma and my uncle. WOW i found out so many fasinating things. like my grandma can really drink alot, we are talking about half a bottle of brandy here. and my aunt is a fantastic drinker too.

found out things about my cousin who's never around. apparently she has serious issues with self-esteem. hahah. overall an alright new year. more visitations line up. gonna go to all my friends place to get more ang pao! ESPECIALLY MY DEAR! hahahah

alright, a little funny stuff to keep everybody entertained =) Cheerz folks, have a great new year ahead!

-----

Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


EVER WONDER ..

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

i think ling's blog pretty sums it all for me: thought process zero. somehow life happens and it seems to be at this juncture that everyone around me is feeling this way. zombified. like on a production line where we will all end up as meat patty and it is just so depressing to know people don't really care at all. after all, this is singapore. who gives a damn. unless it has something to do with their monies being taken away. but even that, as long as our government can mildly explain that "it is for your own good" then we wil accept, and continue moving on this production line, and continue to slog, and continue to be one of them, and eventually become a meat patty.

where is all the fun of my previous posts? what happened to me? why did i mellow down so much? why am i so listless when i used to be so restless? where did all my energy go? what did life do to me? why can't i fight back?

i can't even express my thoughts now. i am muted. silent.

but life trods on

for those windows uers, this was bill gates introduction of windows vista during CES enjoy!

http://homepage.mac.com/vito/real_vista_episode_1.mov

i need to grow up. i think too much of myself.

and i kena-ed a meme! from ling!

Rules:
1. Post the top 20 OR 30 OR 50 most frequently played songs in your player for the past one year.
2. Name five victims to pass the game on.

top 20 from iTunes since a year ago. with no 1. being the most played.

1. simple plan - untitled
2. 林俊杰 － 不懂
3. 周杰伦 － 分裂
4. toad the wet sprocket - windmills
5. 梁静茹 － 我是幸福的
6. 周杰伦 － 暗号
7. 林俊杰 － 一千年以后
8. Tom McRae - Walking to Hawaii
9. Snow Patrol - Run
10. 元味觉醒 － 天空
11. 孙燕姿 － 不能和你在一起
12. 蔡健雅 － 双栖动物
13. 蔡健雅 － 假想敌
14. 林俊杰 － 冻结
15. 静茹 － 给从前的爱
16. 张惠妹 － 灰姑娘
17. dido - white flag
18. 戴佩妮 - 爱疯了
19. 周杰伦 - 半岛铁盒
20. tori amos - a case of you

see, i have become such a cheena freak! haha this is my all time play list. can i please note in the past one month, i have also listened to good songs like

coldplay - fix you
michael buble - quando, quando, quando
kt tunstall - other side of the world
the killers - mr. brightside

but because my most played is all above 50 over times, its hard for my new song to break that list =)

and this meme goes on to:
1. mark
2. jun yi
3. chooz
4. and i can't think of anymore person as well who blogs and listens to music, so to whoever's interested.

i realised how unfair i have been to him. i don't really know why i was like that. its just that i was so engrossed in work. no its not a bad thing, but i really did let it affect us. i just took things for granted, and took him granted and really worked my ass off till such odd hours at night. and given that he had to wake up early, he can't really meet me after my work much, and he did try. that poor boy, and to think i blamed him for not wanting to meet me after my work.

am leaving for malaysia, will miss him alot.

what i really want for christmas (or belated birthday present)

1. 王子变青蛙DVD/VCD (aka The prince who turned into a frog)
2. Adidas orange (nederland - i think) jacket (size S)
3. Dishwalla CD
4. A good dermatologist to improve my skin
5. well if you can afford it, a saab 93 aero

walking along the sidewalks, from town to city. the mesmerizing lights, the glitz, the decor, the exhaust gas. almost painted a pink sky tonight. alone. dashboard confessional rining in my iPod.

its amazing really. how many things are happening at the same time. and how many of us are actually feeling the same. in the middle of life, facing death. escaping from life, facing life. living with life, coping with life. wars, peace talks, hunts, love, sex, harvest, suicides, births. all happening at the same moment.

makes me feel insignificant, yet amazed at the same time. that somewhere else, everyone feels the same. that you and me.

movies to watch, die die must catch!!

1. da vinci code
2. the world's fastest indian

don't know when will all these open

very bad case of hives. had 2 jabs in the past 3 days. seen 2 different doctors. gross. have absolutely no idea what caused it. could it be the tuna with the impurities? i am never allergic to anything sans dust. Erghz! its all over my body. in legions. its soooo itchy and so disgusting! ahhhhh

Chain Letter Type 1

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Oh please, they'll NEVER go out with you!!!
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Wish something else!!!
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Not that, you pervert!!
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Are your fingers getting tired yet?
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Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, you know, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!

Here's how it goes:

*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending him/her a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*20 to 674, 951 1/2 people: 20 to 674, 951 1/2 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!


Chain Letter Type 2

Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no way of counting letters sent and this is all bull. So go on, reach out.

Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder-if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.

Thanks again!!


Chain Letter Type 3

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works. Pass this on to 1,5067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

Queer Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died.

This Could Happen To YOU!!!

Queer Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell. They continued to suffer in hell where they were both cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.

This Could Happen To You!!!

Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be OK.


Chain Letter Type 4

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.

Friends

-A friend is an angel, someone who is always at your side,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like poop,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly,
-A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
-A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your loser life,
-A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by a mad goat and then thrown to vicious dogs,
-A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English, no sorry that's the cleaning lady,
-A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of his crush doing the nasty with him to come true.




There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the four main types of chain letters, onto the ironic part. In order for this to get any popularity, send it on!!! If you don't think it was funny at all, don't bother, but otherwise forward this sucker to everyone you know!!

If you don't, I don't care, but why not show this around? Take two minutes and forward it. Thanks!

Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, ignore it. If it's a joke or something, send it, sure, but if it's gonna make people feel guilty (i.e. the willieless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous (i.e. Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of turds) just delete it. Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and say, "#$@%CHAIN LETTERS!!"

my baby has finally started working. very happy for him! haha but on my side. well i do love my job, i means its apple and anything apple just drives me nuts. my bosses are generally very nice, especially my direct supervisor. she is so extremely nice, and really dotes on me quite a fair bit. but but but, nothing in the world is perfect. there's also a downside to this job. the hours are really getting to me. i work retails hours, which means i start at 11 and i end at 9.30. you can add another half an hour to that hour for the pre-work prep and the post-work packing up.

yep the pay is good but long term wise, i am not so sure how feasible it is. i need to spend time with my dear, my family and my friends. haven't even seen my pop for such a long time. haha by the time i am home, he's asleep. when he leaves for work, i'm asleep. i miss mommy's food! haha eating at the food court can be such a dread! hrmm will see how lahz.

will see what the future holds before i start planning

my mom and my sis came down to visit me today. had a nice family dinner hehe. really happy to see my mom today. also ling came down with her friend. 2nd time she came to visit. so nice. she made a very interesting remark, about how happy i must be having so many visits. which indeed i am. and i love my job, long hours and all. meeting owners of massive organizations and every sort of people. thanks guy for all the visits and support. mark who came all the way down alone, and another with jeth n jiahui; sm, jere ling and co.; uni friends who happened to pop by, dillon, huiyi; my dearest gang of friends (they got me the best presents!)

yes they did, they fufilled my wishlist sans the iMac G5. i got 4 books and 2CDs wooohoo. it was a great night last night too. they visited me, gave me my presents and went to tcc for a simple celebration. ordered 4 desserts and we actually used them as 'cakes' since i didn't have any birthday cake this year. they decided to let me hv 4 birthday 'cakes' and i got to make 4 wishes. and honestly world peace was one of them! hahah, really enjoyed myself. thanks guys for being so thoughtful!!!

there's always this strange cocktail of emotions swirling around like some strange martini concotion. but then i think about it again, i'm not the only feeling like this. everyone else feels the same. i'm not the only one that feels strange at night, i'm not the only one that has skin worse than the surface of mars, i'm not the only one with issues, i'm not the only one with problems. what on earth is so special about me? we are unique, yet we are all scarily similar. we have similar needs, similar wants. different, yet the same. gosh.

natalie imbruglia - wrong impression

alanis - mary jane

swirling emotions AGAIN!

a very strange amalgamation of feelings.

just had a drink with my colleagues. the world of the straight guy is so amazing. this colleague of mine who is married tried to hook up this fat girl who's spilling over at all the wrong places. another one tried to borrow me to intro to the girls (which put me in such a awkward spot) luckily i had a female company. strangely, i can only communicate with females or gay men. its very difficult for me to talk to straight guys. oh well

the trip back home was rather interesting. bumped into fanny, my junior from JC. she's still so interesting bimbotic. but after she left, a very strange feeling surged out from nowhere. must be the songs from my iPod. can't really describe the feeling. just a very interesting one. hrmm.

why must you do this to me? will you only stop when i have reach my limit and i can't do anything anymore.

i just got back from work not too long ago. ate something my mom left for me.

everything is fine and dandy during the day. its just the nights that get to people. how the loneliness creeps in from every corner, even from my speaker. they surround you and breaks you down. every single night.

somehow it hurt alot more than i thought i would. i missed you a whole lot more than i thought i would.

you

Your Birthdate: November 10

Independent and dominant, you tend to be the alpha dog in most situations. You're very confident, and hardly anything ever shakes you. Mundane tasks tend to drain you - you prefer to be making great plans. You are quite original. When people don't "get" you, it bothers you a lot. Your strength: Your ability to gain respect Your weakness: Caring too much what others think Your power color: Orange-red Your power symbol: Letter X Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

me

Your Birthdate: November 17

You tend to find yourself lucky - both in business and in life. And while being wealthy is nice, you enjoy sharing your abundance with others. You put your luck to good use: you are very ambitious and goal oriented. Often times, you get over excited and take on more than you can manage. Your strength: Your ability to make your own luck Your weakness: Thinking you can do it all Your power color: Bronze Your power symbol: Half Moon Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

they are right, drowing your sorrows doesn't help. not a single bit.

i think i own the world. i am so dead idealistic, i think i am so perfect. but i am not. i am still human, and i still make mistakes. and truth is i am just not good enough. i can't believe that i can actually make you cry. again and again. sorry

its my exam tomorrow and its on singapore society. i can't help but feel thankful and loved in this magnificient country. lets take stock of what has happened recently.

::MORE murders despite our STRICT laws, we still have not had a month without murder yet, for quite a while already.

::transport fare RISED again despite posting RECORD profits

::CPF monies now can't be withdrew because we are not mature enough to save but will instead spend everything

::casino is allowed because we are mature enough to accept that it is vital for our economy

::ERP is rising but traffic condition is still horribly slow on CTE

::homosexual sites are banned and fined because we are too 'conservative' for that

::www.sammyboy.com is still allowed however

::GLC can now use our monies without being approved by the president or government of whatever along that lines

::we are going to hang someone else AGAIN, even though he was forced to traffic drug to help settle his brother's debt, despite him having earned a degree in IT, having many close friends, appeals and what not, despite activist calls

::bloggers are charged and jailed (understandly because they were so insensitive and rude and whatever, i still feel its too harsh though)

::white elephants (so cute and creative) are deemed to be making a political statement and warning

::4 peaceful protester outside CPF building was asked to leave by a platoon of RIOT SQUAD police (the law states that 5 and above is illegal gathering and you need to have a license)

::another singaporean complained about rude t-shirts

::SM goh speaks about press freedom and responsibility and likened the american press not showing nick berg's beheading to self censorship and said that even the western presses practice that though we do not strive to be like them

::reporters without borders rated us 140th out of 167th country in terms of press freedom (this we cannot accept because it is seen through western prism)

::world economic forum rated us 2nd in terms of transparency (this however we can accept because it is seen through a western prism)

what an exciting time we live in? this wonderful panopticon. don't you love it too?

as taken of sintercom here

Illogical comments by minister of state

Letter submitted to the Straits Times on 31 October 2005, refused by the newspaper on 3 Nov 2005.

To the Editor
I refer to the interview the Straits Times conducted with Minister of State Ho Peng Kee on 28 Oct 2005, specifically his comments about gays.



He repeats the claim that Singapore is a conservative society. This claim is suspect firstly because large numbers of Singaporeans think homophobia and discrimination is wrong, and secondly because the government itself, through its own censorship policies deny fair representation of gay people and modern views. To shape public opinion this way, and then claim that public opinion clamours for homophobic policies is disingenuous.

It was quite stunning to read that he feels heterosexuals should not be impeded by the law when it comes to non-procreative oral sex, and "even if they do it outside of marriage, it is still man and woman, which is still part of this mateship," yet he thinks our laws criminalising what gay people do in private should stay, even when they are in committed relationships.

It is extremely difficult to reconcile his views with the Prime Minister's assurance that the government is not homophobic.

The view that only heterosexuality is "natural" is a construct from the time of St Augustine (4th century). It is disputed among biblical scholars. It not universally accepted among Christians today, let alone other religions despite Ho's claim that "all the main religions in Singapore believe it's how we are made."

Just recently, a highly acclaimed Buddhist monk gave a talk to thousands at Bright Hill making it clear that homophobia, which is a form of hate and ill-will, is against Buddhist teaching.

Ho also used the slippery slope argument against repeal of anti-gay laws, when he said, "Once you move, where do you go to? So you'll talk about not just gay sex but also gay marriages, then gay adoptions..."

Throughout history, the slippery slope argument has been used every time anyone suggested any social progress. It was used when education for girls was first mooted, when giving the vote to women or to non-whites were first raised, when abolition of slavery was suggested.

The funny thing is, human civilisation gained strength with each of these moves despite initial fears.
--------


Background ? the relevant questions and answers from the Straits Times interview with Ho Peng Kee, by reporter Li Xueying, published 28 Oct 2005:

ST: Ministry of Home Affairs' (MHA) review of the Penal Code will be out at the end of this year. One aspect mentioned previously is the law on oral sex. Is it likely to be decriminalised?

Ho: That one we're looking at. Some of these laws were drafted in the past, so we have to contextualise some of these laws because society changes. It's a big exercise. The various ministries are still working on some of the details.

ST: What's your personal take?

Ho: My personal take is that between men and women, if you are an adult and there's no force, then what you do in the privacy of your bedroom that has no impact on the public, then you do what you want.

ST: What about gay sex?

Ho: We're still a conservative society. It's a slippery slope. Once you move, where do you go to? So you'll talk about not just gay sex but also gay marriages, then gay adoptions...

ST: But using the same argument, that you can do what you want in the privacy of your bedroom?
Ho: That's different because I think men and women having sex is natural. And it is also in a sense consistent with the whole idea of marriage. Of course even if they do it outside of marriage, it is still man and woman, which is still part of this mateship.

ST: As a Christian, do your religious beliefs affect you in your decision making?

Ho: You have to make decisions according to policies, what is right for Singapore, and Singapore is secular.

But as a mature religious person, your values are internalised. That's how you act, speak, present yourself. But you don't think, oh, as a Christian, what should this policy be?

At temples for instance, I attend festivals and so on, just that I don't hold joss sticks.

ST: You said gay sex is 'not natural'. Is that something that comes out of your religious beliefs?

Ho: Yes, could be. Well, I won't attribute it directly. I look at it more as a family bedrock thing, that a family is based on a man and a woman. I think all the main religions in Singapore believe it's how we are made.

######

we must all stand up and do something. this panopticon is suffocating! join me my dear friends!

what is the point of living and working hard when in the end, its all nought. what are we here for? what's our purpose in life? why do we go through all of this when it all amounts to nothing. wouldn't it be better to be born as a simpleton or better yet, a nutcase with no cares in the world. or not to be born at all?

i am burying my head in my books now! my heaviest papers that take up 50% of the marks are back to back to back! gosh! how traumatising is that. this is over and on top some stupid asshole model who drag our entire project down due to his himboticness GOSH!!!!

ARGH, STRESS!

the singapore government has done it again. they have tried again to silence the homosexual community in singapore after declaring that they were not homophobic, but anybody who talks about homosexual content and promote the lifestyle should be silenced. is it even possible to promote a homosexual. just as it is not possible to promote a hetereosexual lifestyle, or promoting romance (going by the failure of romancing and the ever declining birthrate), how can anybody promote a homosexual lifestyle.

is it possible to do some petition so that government can hear our voices and let us live. first a fine, then a closing of a gay website, what is next? what is next? incaceration of all gay people? how can i be gay? i can love, but i touch any guys affectionately and no i most definitely can't have sex. what logic is that? i am going to write a term paper on this!

feels like you are never there when i need you to be. but i can fly down at 3am. surreal feeling

its a really strange feeling to see your coursemates from your JC batch getting so far in life, knowing what they want. the same people whom i graduated with, went on a trip with, whose abilities are about the same as mine, but they made it. made to the best flying school, in canada. but here i am in singapore mugging for my papers. all because of my slipped disc. all because of my injury. because i didn't know how to take care of myself. because i didn't train hard enough to have a better phsyical condition. its so surreal to look at them and envy and realised i could have been there too. i am such a loser!

i hate myself. let me go and die please. thanks

i need to be more productive! i need more drive, i need a car (LAME!). aiya, its always like that, i want to study and in the end, i end up getting stuck to my iBook (i think i'll name my iBook soon, hrmmm) okok back to my books and stop procrastinating!

this is depressing, my readership is going down =( awww. hahah. i am munching on ben & jerrys as i'm digesting my singapore society notes. oh well, life sucks. but i be glad that it is all cramped up in 4 days, break den 1 more paper, and that's it, off to enjoy my birthday!

not much energy to blog about big issues, and this page is damn due for a big revamp, so watch out world! in the mean time, drink as much as you can, get as drunk as you can and par-tay away (so i can get my A's muahahahahha)

its the showdown between 3 phones for me, the Sony Ericsoon w900 the panasonic vs7 or the nokia n70 tough choice so i must decide carefully!

anyhow, a few sites have caught my eye, and i'm adding it to my daily reads!

mr brown
diary of a lucky singaporean
talk rock
double yellow's musing

i need to put on more weight! prefably 8kg! that's gonna be a tough one. have started gymming already, but the past week has been incredulously busy with projects. and the exams are just around the bend, so well, after exams! look out arnold! (i think i have said this before, but oh well hahaha)

i've been compiling a playlist: 90s one hit wonders, you know songs that define the era, but its those one-hit wonders that really defined the 90s. for those with iTunes gift certificate, go get them off iTunes Essential

4 non blondes - what's up
the cardigans - lovefool
chumbawamba - tubthumping
cornershop - brimful of asha
deep blue something - breakfast at tiffany's
the divinyls - i touch myself
donna lewis - i love you always forever
len - if you steal my sunshine
meredith brooks - bitch
new radicals - you get what you give
the proclaimers - i'm gonna be (500 miles)
shawn mullins - lullaby
vertical horizon - everything you want
the verve - bitter sweet symphony

with exams lurking around the corner, i'm feeling the heat to mug really hard. maybe its self-expectation, or maybe i'm a 'perfectionist' like what a few of my friends tell me, i feel very horrible if i don't get my A's. but this is translating to insane mugging and i'm feeling somewhat afraid. sigh. its been god knows how many years since i last mugged, not saying that i didn't mug back in the airforce, but it's just so different. its all theories and concepts and what not, but oh well.

came across this incredibly funny maths question:



hahahahah

Greeks had many words to describe love. Eros - sexual love; Agape - giving, self-sacrificing love; Philia - friendship; Storge - affection.
If we fail to make the transition from eros to development of agape, philia and storge - intimacy, companionship and commitment - separation ensues.

my horoscope for the month:
Take extra care towards your health in case you pass your flu or cold to your partner. This is a busy and tiring month for most Scorpios so watch your mood. Be true to your feelings, if you have problems talking to your partner, solve this problem quickly or things could explode later.

oh, the horror! the horror! i got B for one of my subjects. i am not going to get all my A's ARGH!!!!!!!

gosh, i just realised how infrequently i am posting here. sorry to my regular readers. but oh well, i am going to do something very drastic to this place after my exams. and my exams are going to be here real soon, nov 7-14. and my birthday is just after that. for those who do not what to get me, refer to my wishlist, alternatively you can contact me =p

everything is falling into place now. school's been great. dear's been wonderful. my life is going just fine now. contented =)

in other news, do you know you can be fined if you don't pay the actual bus fares? like as if anybody bothers to tap earlier to save 10cents. and you must remember this rule came into effect after the bus fare hike and after SBS transit reported RECORD profit! guess i'll be cycling to school from now on.

http://www.theinquirer.net/?article=26808

A STORY stating that the Beast of Redmond had developed a technology which enabled DVDs to be played only once was much vilified on the Net. Some claimed it was a pure hoax. But the story's originator - The Business - has named now named its source.
Step forward one Alistair Baker, md with Microsoft in the UK. He claims that Microsoft's DRM software now gives the owner of content "total control over how it is viewed". That could mean that not only could the content be viewed only once but that the content could also have an expiry date and/or time of day.

Why would anyone want to introduce one-play DVDs, you might ask? To sell new hardware, of course. Baker describes the typical playing device as a "new DVD player from manufacturers like Toshiba supporting high-definition DVD and running Windows CE."

Now the British paper was inundated with emails and letters from hackers pointing out various ways around such DRM software. Granted even the dumbest of PC users could point a handycam at the PC's screen and retain a copy.

But that's not the point. Most users would simply not bother. Instead it indicates just how paranoid the major owners of content have become given that they would treat such an offering seriously. Particularly since the Beast is the supplier of the world's most ripped-off software.

The INQ also sympathises with those who are environmentally concerned. It's bad enough having PCs which destroy CDs by the dozen, every time you try to burn something. But a technology which is so wasteful the CD deliberately gets used only the once?

######
Looks the the Inquirer hates WINDOZE as well! muahahahha

i realised that there are still a good number of people reading this blog. thanks guys, i really appreciate it. well it is kinda well, i don't really know how to say it, but it sorta makes me wanna post a bit more. but well, seriously, the recent CLAMPDOWN on bloggers is starting to get to me. but what the heck, i shall say what i want without crossing any boundary, seriously, i think its alright to call people a prude if they are really pruddish, and if you are a fat ass, then you are a fat ass, nobody can sue me for that, but however, racism that is not justified, well that is just dumb.

anyhow, read this:

Bryan says "A lot of Singaporeans are in deep sleep. They don't seem to realise that their lives revolve around the ideas of one man or a group of men. Their lives aren't their own." Of course, that "one man" he's talking about is Singapore's former Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew, now the Minister Mentor. And the "group of men" he refers to is the core of the PAP cabinet

I had a dream last night in which i can predict the future so accurately that people would come up to me and ask for answers. LKY asked me about Singapore and I told him, 'Singapore will become the city of cities. But I also see the destruction of Singapore in 300 hundred years time. It will be over so fast that people can't imagine that there was this great city that stood in the middle of Southeast Asia.'

Brian explains that when he thinks of Singaporeans, he thinks of them as schoolchildren who still rely on authority figures to govern their conduct. Despite of or partly because of Singaporeans' reliance on top-down direction, he thinks that many Singaporeans don't form a deep attachment to the country. Hence, the transitory nature of the carpark setting for the schoolchildren's games.

Says Brian, "The carpark is a place that we don't live in. It's a place that we use, but don't form an attachment to. I think of our country as a carpark sometimes.

life gets to you. and you know life gets to you. but well aside from the bad times of life, its pretty good actually. enjoying struggling for my projects.

someone commented i am an idealist, and everything in works in clockwork precision in my head, and it just dawned upon me that it is absolutely true. i have a chaotic order in my head, and everything is possible in my dictionary. gosh now i know where my sleepness nights coming from.