Jun 26, 2002

yes, i have disappeared for a long time, not taking a hiatus actually, just that i was so busy preparing for my cca and all that i am left with no time to type. and the other thing is that whenever i do actually sit down and type, either blogger or the comp will fail on me, so it seems like fate that i don't get to blog. so many things have happened, and so much more that i can't say it over here. but i am really happy, and really contented. feeling really free, but at the same time a sense of loss. something that is so good, is going to end. i will miss walking out in the warmth sun, listening to my MD and feeling the surroundings.

life and relationships are always so complex. and yes i am not particularly happy about my current position. someone popped me the question. oh well, i didn't agree quite obviously. wonders what is wrong. but its oki, life will work things out, it usually does. anyhow its better to focus on my studies for now. and anyway i am in deep shit...

<You are a gay man.

Take this quiz

Jun 14, 2002

lets just see, sbs profit (note that this is the amount they earn after they pay off all wages, dividend, etc) they are earning increasing from 3.9 billion to about 4.6 billion, dipping only to 4.2 billion last year due to some investment, smrt however has earned about 10 billion in the year 2000, and so they claim that operating cost is increasing after they have switched to energy saving air-con that has saved them 1.2 million in operating cost. is there something i am not getting here? economy recession -> lower wages -> retrenchment-> increase in prices? okie so the increase is only 3c to 5c. not a lot right, let just say that this amounts to an increase of about $8-$12 dollars in theory per person per month. and guess what the chairman of LTA or sbs or SMRT whatever said. well the consumers should expect a price revision every july. (price revision = price increase) fuck him. ask him to try to take his sbs bus and check out the freaking leg space and let him get irritated to no end by his tv-mobile. so smart, they add tv-mobile to one of the services, and say operating cost increased. DAMN everybody DON'T really want tv-mobile, so take the damn thing off and reduce your operating cost.

do you know that singapore is amongst the few country in the entire world that makes profit, and surprise surprise, we are proud commuters of one of the world's most expensive public transport. lets see, in japan, buses come at about 50-60 yen, train services is about 100+yen servicing tokyo. perth has 3 free train station, and from city to the other end, its about 70cents. WOW.. one station is singapore is 80cents. ok, the tube and the subway is not that expensive either. so maybe we have cheaper cabs.

you just can't freaking raise the price every year. i mean does anybody remember the days when one end to the other end is 1.20 cents. boon lay to pasir ris. and buses still comes in 30cents. not a lot what, 10c, 20c a year.. look how much issit now. 1.85cents. inflation, yesh, but comparing profit! i mean profit, if they are earning so much more than the 2.6 or isit 3.6 percent inflation.. 10 fucking billion dollars!!!!!!!!! now i am missing something. oh yeah, be prepared when u start working, cos average person spend about $100-$150 dollars on public transport, no i am not talking about cabs, just buses and/or trains. and price hike every july..
hahah i just typed some stuff and i accidentally closed the window again. was just saying that i am getting so sick of my layout and will be changing it when school reopens and i am more free. which is kinda ironic cos pple usually have more free time during the hols, but i spent my whole hols at my cca, and that my cca is gonna end in a week plus... real sad, will miss all the fun, and this guy from my course and this junior.. we kinda got really chummy for a good while, hope to keep in touch though.






What type of Bishounen are you? Find out at artificial-soul.net by Rin.


believe that? ladies or men... hrmm right, how did they know? am i that famous?!

Jun 13, 2002

well well. great day till something happened, something along the lines of I LOST MY BLOODY WALLET ALONG WITH MY STUFFS!. but something else happened. see i was kinda like trying to find my wallet in the cinema, then there was this kinda good looking guy looking for something too, and i was just wondering whether i should use the good old pick-up line "looking for something too?" and to my suprise, that guy asked me.. and we ended up chatting, but due to certain prescence, we couldn't exchange numbers.. dammit.. but anyway.. tiring day today and the rest of the week and i swear one of my teachers/instructor is gonna skin me soon (X-files anybody?)

"hey, hey baby, i wanna know, if you be my girl"

there's just so much book that i have to get.. and i so need to settle my love life, ok, maybe fill up my lack of love life... i want you! not really, but i honestly do feel something. not my ex.. i just msged my ex, but yeah, its gonna be friends thats it. at max, wham bam thankyou mam. oki sick!.. sigh..i needa talk to so many pple. when my cca ends, i promise i would study with YOU (mark) as much as possible, call those friends and get a life. in the mean time, i still like you, but i guess i should stop ranting about it and dream about it instead

Jun 10, 2002

i am exclaiming out loud now that i have the hugest crush on WON BIN and it is not stopping. me and my sis have been going crazy over this guy for the past week, and argh.... this time its me and my sis drooling at the same time over the comp. sheesh!. and i am going to get myself that wonbin poster i saw, the really big one to paste on my wall.

actually i am not in a good mood, but i am not gonna say why. no point. i swear it that s**t is going on any longer, i am going to split into 2.

Their idea of peace on earth is to inflict their psychoses on others.

i don't know what to do anymore.. and it is not like you don't know, i told u way before that. and argh!

Jun 7, 2002

i am back, been away for the past few days. had some pretty enriching experience. but mostly disturbing. my ex called. for no rime of reason. actually a rather lame excuse to ask me about someone whom i obviously know nuts about and then claiming that this other person had been calling him quite often; bad start if u ask me. it was kinda inconvienient to talk, so i said i would call back when i could. and i did not. felt very wierd. it has been so long, no communications, nothing. he decided to aviod me and subsequently, i decided i should get over him, and i pretty much did. i am feeling rather upset by the fact that our relationship does not bother me anymore. but anyhow, i don't care and i don't know what i should do. its just that. it has been so long, so much hurt, so much pain, so much tears...but i should be more concerned about what is going on now. will not elababorate. in case it gets too obvious about who i happen to be still liking.

i don't know how to chat properly! its not that i lack inter-personal skill/social skill. its that i can't talk over the icq.. i can talk on the phone, go on lengthy emails with my net friends, but somehow, i found out, much to my displeasure, that i cannot initiate a proper nice conversation like i can do over the phones. 'tis not a bad thing, but sometimes, when u can't call the person as yet, and u are too lazy to type a complete email, icq seems to do the trick. but still, thats not the point. the point is, i am trying to talk to this person over icq, this particular person, and i think i am making a bad impression. but still, i am highly jaded by relationships still. still pondering over the possibilty of love, over the possibility of someone remaining faithful, whether both party will really ever like each other and not one party likes me because i like him. still jaded. still crushed.

death and life isn't that much difference is it? they are just 2 sides to the same coin. actually there's always 2 side to everything.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
-frost-

its always about choices isn't it? and now i guess i should choose.

chesire, don't feel that upset. parents are like that. and sister are almost always irritating just like younger brothers. we all go through some shit like this. its ongoing. come now, take it easy, you know u love ur mother, and that would prevail one day. my mother loved gramps so much, but gramps never did find out until the last days of her life, and if u heard what gramps said to mother, you would tear. but mom always know in the end who really care for them. take care...

Jun 3, 2002

cologenics has upgraded thier service, do check it out.. they include a personality analysis (WOW)

YELLOW is the most communicative of the colors. You are bright, expressive and radiate warmth. Sometimes you might talk too much, but people always find you interesting. Above all, you have a zest for life!

BLUE personalities are the most creative and artistic of all of the colors. Imagination is your middle name and you love to express your mind freely. You are a true visionary who usually makes your dreams come true!

and this is from the another website




I'm exceptionally artistic!

Find your soul type
at kelly.moranweb.com.

Virtues: You look for immense creativity and individuality in people, including yourself. You're not happy with anything less than brilliant, and you focus on being expressive. You value energy, liveliness, and upbeat personalities, but you're not supportive of moodiness when you yourself can be unreliably moody. Seeking activity, you like the bustle of business but need the secluded atmosphere of a studio or private corner.

Aspirations: You feel the need to express your talents, whether it be through writing, drawing, singing, dancing, composing, performing, or photographing. While you strive to ever improve your work, you want to display it as soon as possible when your impatience kicks in. You want to be a prodigy but you might not have the means right at your fingertips. Trust me, do NOT move to New York to do it. Yeesh!

Quirks: Conformists bother you because of their lack of individuality. You're often late or unreliable. You're showy and refuse to share the spotlight. You only tell little white lies. You worm your way into the hearts of others, but be careful; some people despise the show-offs.

Factors: Surround yourself with activity and you'll always have material to work with. Involve friends and family in your projects so they don't feel like envious outsiders.

Future: Show business or not, you'll settle down happily if you're among those who appreciate your natural talents and desire to perform. Don't stay in one place too long, and don't be too hasty in defining your relationships. Who are you to judge what only time will tell?

Jun 1, 2002

bumped around today, did nothing much essentially.. alanna you look GREAT with you short hair, maybe short (hehe) of kirsten dunst, but still great nonetheless. actually i haven't been particularly free, and i am feeling kinda guilty cos i haven't been doing much homework. oki i admit, i haven't done any. been busying myself with stuff like hanging out with friends, going for my cca and doing alot of other stuff...

i was browsing through the times magazine, and was pretty shocked and upset over this particular article. nahz its not so much about pakistan and india, they have been fighting since eons ago and peace will never prevail until one of the old dying folk dies. it was this article about this sailor that made history when he sailed across pacific ocean 2 decades back on somee primitive boat (i think it is reed or prypus or something like that). he tried to sail the same road again earlier this year and was shocked at how much the ocean has changed, he said that there was so much rubbish, plastic bottles, cans, bags, amongst others; the water has become very sticky to the extent of feeling slickish. he said that it was so contaminated that he and the sailors don't even dare to dip their toothbrush in the water sometimes. isn't it sad how fast we are destroying the environment. in a span of 20 years, or 50 since industrailisation, we have altered the face of the earth more than the 4.6 billion years, and none of the change is reversible. goodness. can we progress without harming the earth?
bumped around today, did nothing much essentially.. alanna you look GREAT with you short hair, maybe short (hehe) of kirsten dunst, but still great nonetheless. actually i haven't been particularly free, and i am feeling kinda guilty cos i haven't been doing much homework. oki i admit, i haven't done any. been busying myself with stuff like hanging out with friends, going for my cca and doing alot of other stuff...

i was browsing through the times magazine, and was pretty shocked and upset over this particular article. nahz its not so much about pakistan and india, they have been fighting since eons ago and peace will never prevail until one of the old dying folk dies. it was this article about this sailor that made history when he sailed across pacific ocean 2 decades back on somee primitive boat (i think it is reed or prypus or something like that). he tried to sail the same road again earlier this year and was shocked at how much the ocean has changed, he said that there was so much rubbish, plastic bottles, cans, bags, amongst others; the water has become very sticky to the extent of feeling slickish. he said that it was so contaminated that he and the sailors don't even dare to dip their toothbrush in the water sometimes. isn't it sad how fast we are destroying the environment. in a span of 20 years, or 50 since industrailisation, we have altered the face of the earth more than the 4.6 billion years, and none of the change is reversible. goodness. can we progress without harming the earth?

May 30, 2002

took this from www.talkingcock.com

by Kway Png

After former Speaker of Parliament Mr Tan Soo Khoon likened several government buildings to five star hotels during the budget debate, the Ministry of Education, far from treating it as criticism, is now launching special holiday packages.

"We would like to thank Mr. Tan for such a brilliant idea," said MoE spokesman Mr. Kah Ghin Nah from his office, sorry, suite in the gleaming new tower off Buona Vista. "Opening up the Ministry will really help us get revenue to offset the losses caused by the dip in income tax."

The MoE has devised several mix-and-match items to form a perfect 'get away from it all' itinerary, such as:

- E.Z., P.E.Z: Getting flabby from sitting in the office all day? Why not have a weekend of exercise with P.E. teachers who are running the Trim and Fit (T.A.F.) programme? Healthy meals provided, so after burping, you can do burpees!

- From Sir With Love: Stressed? Sore and aching muscles? Forget those expensive spas! Come to the MoE and get a good massage by school teachers currently on secondment to the Ministry as molest charges against them are being investigated!

- Spare the Rod and Spoil The Holiday: Your local dominatrix getting a little tired? Why not have a spanking good time with the Discipline Mistresses at the MoE? After all, who should know better about Corporal Punishment than a Ministry headed by a Rear Admiral?

"We're even thinking of some cruises with schoolkids," said Mr. Kah. "Naughty boys and nautical ministers... it has a nice ring to it."

Check in time for all suites at the MoE will be at 5 pm, when the staff leave.

hahahahahahah

May 29, 2002

its funny owning a strange guitar, some pple have a pick guard to prevent scratching thier guitar, i have a pick guard and i have to take caution not to scratch it.. oh well.. great day today, went for my cca (but it rained) then came home with the intention to play some songs, but headed for the shopping mall and shopped around. ate like 3 meals consecutive (1 old chang kee one, followed by a kfc meal followed by home cooked dinner, and i am still hungry and i am still 55kg.. argh) my friend got an md today (YEAH, MD RULEz) accompanied her... went to body shop and started to try on different toilet water (eau de toilette) now i smell nice...

anyway, i think that jordan is highly irritating. same goes for louie/louis however you spell that name. a great piece of advice, now go dig a hole, stuff your head there and live your life there oki?? now thats a good boy...
alanna, you call that a haircut??? looks pretty much the same to me.i thought you were gonna go cut it real short, like something funkier. anyway don't feel so bad okie? being single RULEZ! sometimes we all wish to be attached, to have an emotional support, but who says friends can't give u the same thing? if you have rang earlier, i would rushed down that day and accompany you home (like me usually do) so there *hugs* don't feel bad k. gotta go now~~~!!!

May 27, 2002

i am feeling so wierd, i am thinking about my sec 4 love affair again. it seems that he is still stuck in my head... i was gonna say something but i ended up blurting his name instead. then missed everything about him. spend my day packing my room to make space.

its quite pleasing to receive compliments. especially from people i dunno.. hahaha (long story, involving my pic got stuck somewhere else and stuff)

i think i am irritating.. i ask people for their opinion, and say that i would listen to their suggestion and act accordingly, then i take a vote, and pretend to listen, and finally i still stick with what i am going to do (even though everyone is against it). doesn't that sound like a certain govt of a certain country... hrmmmm
i am feeling so wierd, i am thinking about my sec 4 love affair again. it seems that he is still stuck in my head... i was gonna say something but i ended up blurting his name instead. then missed everything about him. spend my day packing my room to make space.

its quite pleasing to receive compliments. especially from people i dunno.. hahaha (long story, involving my pic got stuck somewhere else and stuff)

i think i am irritating.. i ask people for their opinion, and say that i would listen to their suggestion and act accordingly, then i take a vote, and pretend to listen, and finally i still stick with what i am going to do (even though everyone is against it). doesn't that sound like a certain govt of a certain country... hrmmmm
i am feeling so wierd, i am thinking about my sec 4 love affair again. it seems that he is still stuck in my head... i was gonna say something but i ended up blurting his name instead. then missed everything about him. spend my day packing my room to make space.

its quite pleasing to receive compliments. especially from people i dunno.. hahaha (long story, involving my pic got stuck somewhere else and stuff)

i think i am irritating.. i ask people for their opinion, and say that i would listen to their suggestion and act accordingly, then i take a vote, and pretend to listen, and finally i still stick with what i am going to do (even though everyone is against it). doesn't that sound like a certain govt of a certain country... hrmmmm
yoyo. hey alanna, yep i totally enjoyed the play, there was sooo sooo much sexual innuendos, although not everyone got every single joke.. great job. and yep read gaston's POV on self-injury, its nothing like that, is it? hrmm i think pple don't realise that this server is called transient-pain because of what we do.. hehe. oh well. *wonders if pple will ever understand* most people don't get it, and are very put off by it. oh well..

i did a lot of crazy thing last night, shall not dwell too much, let just say that the eye rings that i have now are more than jus black colour.

GREAT start to my hols, will start revising and keep up with my exercise and training (one last month!!!) yepyep, then i am free.

May 24, 2002

had a great day today, possibly the best i had this year. let just say i felt young and alive again. never had so much fun. went out with a bunch of friends and we just went "crazy". i must do this again. actually after the outing, we felt quite upset; wondering if this would be the last time we are going to have such fun, cos our cca is ending soon, are we will be going our own way. my friend proposed that we write a song, i think we should. so yep, will be embarking on a song writing journey! actually thinking about it, i don't really want my cca to end that badly, cos of all the great times we share, stoning in lectures, sharing stories about instructor...

yep, i just did a major restring of my guitar, about time i did it, then discussed with my friends today about guitars and stuff. went to SIR for awhile (yep will be going off for a short hols in the holidays) and yesh needa extend passport.

and alanna, i love the new layout, in fact like i said i am on my way to a new layout, tori RULEZ!!!.. and hey hey, i am NOT BLONDE!!!! And definitely not HIMBOTIC. i don't claim i am nice, i am just nice!!! hrmmph!

May 21, 2002

tired. nose running like tap, well broken tap that is. great weather. its raining, for once. great time at cca, for once.

May 19, 2002

i literally went soaking in the sun today. finally i went swimming. been intending to swim for a long time, and i went there, got a good tan, and yep, had good lunch before hitting home and snoozing off like a pig.

never knew how much i missed being hugged. met one of my friends, kinda like ex bf (as in best friend), cos we used to be real chummy and all, but now cos of my irritating schedule, yar kinda drifted. but it was nice to see him again, and he gave me a huge hug in the middle of the shopping mall. its was a real good feeling. and i returned the hug and dragged him off the the washroom. (nope you idiot, not what you are thinking off) i needed to comb my hair cos i forgot to bring my cap down - my sister insisted that my hair was fine and i didn't need the cap. so anyway, we chatted for awhile and had to go cos i was gonna meet my friend.

yesh alanna. i did not read wrongly. if u call me and i hang up on you, you'll get a silent tone. anyway that's not the point. i'm sure callie will answer your call soon enough.

roasted tomato is gonna sleep!
lesson of the day: do not, and i mean Do Not with the capital d and n, walk in and out of an air-con room of 16 degrees into the blistering heat of 34 degrees every 20 minutes. guess who's having the tap fixed onto his nose.. snuffs.

i want to see that guy!!!.. not actually.. been enjoying myself these few days. i am right again. again meaning that someone who i thought sits on this side of the fence is really sitting on this side of the fence (still my perfect record!) its all in the eyes.. we can tell (cos for the uninitiated, somehow most g** have this things called the g**dar. - yes i hate that word, bcos of the negative connotation - i prefer to be known as a homo. it may not be how that person act or behave, you can tell by the eyes. sometimes there may be this guy with a babe in his hand, but if he looks at u for just a split second more than it should have been and lingers around, there you go..

still awaiting to watch star wars 2... spend my whole day, and i mean like 8-7.30 at my cca! that does not include travelling time, i might add. its very draining, mentally. i wonder how much of my brain cells die each day (yes alanna i have brain cells).

i need a life dammit. and i need to rest. went out with this new guy (nope nothing of that sort) just some random junior who happen to chat with me and we happen to click and we happen to have dinner together and he happen to ask to go to orchard with him to get his headphone and we happen to exchange numbers. ok, so maybe it was a little too coincidental, but what the heck. maybe i should flirt more, to keep myself alive. drifting into depression stage once again. i can't stand it. everyday i get more introverted. i am screaming to be heard. but ah well. sometimes its fun to be off.. side: navy guys are a bit off, a few screw loose i suppose...

and this poor guy here, with his screw loose and lacking shall go and sleep.. but not before he adds something. alanna: if callie hangs her phone on u, there should be no engaged tone, just a silent. and are u sure ur teacher recommended peculiar chris to his class. oh man!!!! is he ***? hahaha