i'm in the midst of packing my room, packing my emotions, packing my thoughts. what a year 2004 was. the year started when i came back from brunei, all ready to embarked on my career as a future pilot, but now, i've been suspended due to some crappy medical reasons. those things i said, oh well just a way to cover emotions, to cover how i really felt about not being able to go. sometimes we all need a little lie to get us by.

in jan, i also met the love of my life. its almost a year already, and what a year it has been, full of up and downs and all the in betweens. looking back, it was really a year of extremes. mother nature has been terribly unkind to the world. punishment? maybe, but nore so a lesson, that no matter how great we are, how we can manipulate lives, decide which country to invade just because; decide that us homosexuals are lesser beings; that abortion is legal or illegal; we are still no match for mother nature. without warning, in matters of hours, thousands upon thousands of lives are lost. no mercy was shown. ironically, not a single animal died. they all retreated inland. ironically.

reading the news today (okok you all know i am very emotional) i almost teared by the efforts of the friends and relatives of the loved ones looking and searching everywhere for the victims. dead of alive, they needed some closure. how do we even deal with a catastrophe of such a scale? "live is cheap, cherish what you have now" my dearest friend said that to me yesterday. sigh.

what a way to end 2004, to remind us that the year was chaotic, violent, fearful. all the unnecessary deaths of innocents in sudan, iraq, afghan, india, pakistan, spain, indonesia and i could really go on and on about the terrorist attacks. and between dumb and dumber of election 2004 in the states, the dumber won. how depressing.

in the new year, hopefully the world changes for the better, because every year as we conclude there is nothing but sad news and terrifying images of war torn regions. world peace!

personally i have to learn a lesson that loving someone is easy, accepting is the hard. and that now that i am no longer the 'high flyer' that i was, i've gotta hit the books soon and follow the masses; instead of taking the road less travelled.

happy new year everybody, may this coming year be really filled with great things! love ya guys.

PEACE to the world!
(yes lets all be buddhist!)