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bad news, my computer died on me a couple of days ago. well, i won't be bloggin in the next few weeks. actually the death of my computer came at a pretty good time, considering that my prelims are just around the corner. its quite good to have one less distraction in my house. so i will not fix it till my prelims are over.

for those that are concerned and have no idea that my comp died, i am fine. nothing new in my life, same old stuff, mugging, guys and guitar. yepyep. at my friend's place now, so gonna stop here. tata

busy busy busy. its been a busy week, consisting generally of mugging. oh well, prelims are just around the corner, i've gotta work hard for it. in fact i don't think i have studied as much before.

i just called him and he was studying. it took me a hell lot of deliberation before i decided to call - i just don't know what to say - and i thought it would be awkward. but i eventually did it. had butterflies in my stomach for the entire duration, the thing is i don't usually feel this way, not so strongly till i don't even dare to call. but hell, i am going take things as it comes along.

dalg commented that my language has deteoriated but thought that it was an online thing. actually i think it is affecting my "offline" language too. must improve.

anyhow, am feeling quite tired, so i will be hitting the sheets.

some of you might have read this before, so bear with me.

i can't stand being nice to pple. its honestly very taxing to try to be nice to everyone. some people couldn't care 2 hoots about whether i am civil and polite. so i decided i should just be as mean and sarcastic to people who try to get witty at me for no good reason. that is people who aren't close to me at all and try to "talk" to me. i will just yell and you and criticise you and be irritating and i will be rude. to hypocrites like you, i don't need a good reason, cos you are just a pain in the ass and you shouldn't even bother to retaliate. ok now f**k off bitch.

other than the above, it was quite a good week. things are looking more positive: my wardrobe has got a few additions, my latest love affair is being so nice to me, i am starting on some revision. yep, on with my life

i don't really know how to put down in words what i feel. its just a feeling that ran away a year ago, but somehow found its way back. confusion has found its way around my head too, but thats ok still.

i should really start my revision in detail. i think i am still slacking big time. oh well. feeling really tired (damn its morning for goodness sake)

its inot that i don't change my layout, but for some reason, i am suddenly not so keen to spend a couple of hours staring at my comp using adobe and scouting for new fonts. i have taken a liking to play my guitar, work out (yes, this couch potato has change his exercise regime from moving from couch to couch to jogging, push-ups and the likes), read my notes (yes, another surprise) and spend hours on the phone and waiting for someone's msg. and i feel happy, and i feel really happy. ok, now my whole is that please bear with this layout. alanna, your layout is well just you, and lynn (i can't read cos the font is too small and the contrast too striking, so i am squinting like crazy).

ever wondered what you gonna study at university? most people are still stuck with the mind set that you MUST take engineering or business if not you'll starve to death. oh puhleeze, i don't see the 18000 other graduates from NUS/NTU per year starving to death. anyhow is anybody's parents forcing you to take biz ad, DON"T, convince your parents and take something you like. you're probably going to do far better in a subject you like, rather than one your parents like. 90% of the people graduate and work in fields totally unrelated to their degree, save for doctors and lawyers and engineers. look at it this way, all of us are going to change jobs, are we going to study one degree and really get stuck in the same kind of job forever? most of us are probably going to take 3-4 totally different jobs in our lifetime and no matter what degree we take its still gonna allow us to find a job. if you're going to take a degree you like, you'll enjoy. isn't that more than enough. doing business does not mean one must take biz ad. in fact setting up a stall at clarke quay for one weekend will teach you more about the business world than your entire degree. theory vs practice. so come on now, convince your parents and live YOUR life not you PARENT'S life

its a great weekend. it has been one of the more enjoyable weekends this year, i was at my cca place supporting my ahem friend. yeah, he was taking his exams, and i was there to cheer him on, actually because of some dumb reason, i had to go 2 days in a row to support him. i waited 16 hours of the 2 days, but it was all worth it. went out with him and a bunch of friends after the two days, and he was so nice and sweet. i just went weak in the knees on the sport (something to do with some nice black shirts), of course i got to hug him after the 2nd day, it was a nice big hug (but he was wet from all the evil concoction that i drench on him). damn i am one of the happiest boy on earth. you guys should really see him play with my camera. like this big kid with a new toy, he couldn't stop playing. took quite some shots. collecting it tonight!!! yay!!

wait daddy just came back with my photos.. they look so GOOD, so cute hahahaz, its really really funny. shall not indulge too much into it. just that he's so cute. ok, shall stop it. going to admire over the photos.

some people say i am always playing hard to get (this was particularly regarding this cute guy who asked me) and said that after awhile some people might get sick of trying. its not that i am playing hard to get, i am afraid of falling in love. and i am more afraid of how to handle it. yeah, i have tons of crushes, like some other people i know. but hey my crush are as short lived as my discman batteries. until know i can say that i have only loved one guy, and had a serious serious crush on the 2. (can we not count flings please?) lets see, one won't and will never work out, cos it was almost, just almost. and now at this very moment, i am having an infatuation over one of my cca friend. J claims my voice changed like totally when i talk with him on the phone.. oh well.. i want it to work, i really hope this time, things will be fine. but hell i don't even know if it is even concievable, if you get my drift. WTH, something in me tells me he's not totally str8 but he's not totally this way either. given my 99.99% accuracy, well.

"how can i not love you"

and so what about the previous guy that i have a crush on? i dunno, its been about half a year on since i liked him, not that i have ever stopped. but i know nothing will work out, i tried, why bother again? i think because i have a feeling so deep its not particularly easy to just make it go away. if its so tough, why don't i turn straight? because maybe i can't? its not a choice, ok maybe its a choice right down to the technical definition of the word, as in i can still choose to be with a girl and totally deny my feelings, but i won't do that. i am not ruling out the possibility that one day a girl might moved me and i'll fall in love and happy ending (yes i did crushed girls for a period of time when i was having some flings somewhere else). but its not happening in the near forseeable future.

i don't know what i would do, but i'll figure it out like i always do. i am me, i find my way around everything. come on take me and make me yours. would u pleasE?

oh no. i am developing a really really bad crush on this guy from my cca. honestly its a huge crush. and i dunno where to start doing what. a couple of my friends have been giving me great advice, and j still has some reserves but overall its going on fine. he's so sweet, man, he really really knows how to melt a person. yesh i am not made of butter but i still melt rather easily. what can i say. he's cute, behaves like a kid - picture childish teenager playing around with a softtoy trying to amuse another friend of ours. i really have to take it nice and slow this time. and yep my friend said something quite right, i am also getting on aft the incident.

now there's just one tiny prob, which i won't discuss in detail, just that this little obstacle is gonna take time. but i can almost confirm, and almost be sure that this obstacle doesn't exist. but oh well, we'll see.

i am so happy, i don't think i can fall asleep. in fact i was smiling away on my way back from meeting him just now, i can't sleep on the train too, though i was super tired. now someone gimme melatonin and a quick guide to get attach.

"i feel like i'm losing my best friend" - don't speak

don't ask. anyhow, i think i will try to indulge in some heavy chocolate binging (or however u spell that) session soon. has everybody here know of that chocolate buffet at the fullerton hotel? i am so gonna bring my friends down and pig over the sinful delights. and hey J, you are not the only one that can't get fat. i eat quite a big amount too, maybe not as much as you, but yeah you get the drift. maybe you should just accept the great fact that u can't get fat. you know how many people out there are dying to be like that. anyhow you should appreciate this and hope in 10 years time, you still can't get fat

TV is a waste of time. i totally agree, but they are also a hell lot addictive. ally mcbeal, friend, some chinese drama, great jap and korean drama. i oughta spend less time on TV and more time sleeping and doing my work. looking at the amount of time left, i really and running on a really tight schedule here. i have to start studying like real real soon.. its like oh man. if i don't i will DIE kinda stuff.

new layout is on the way. and i think i've better start doing my work now.

its a week since i last post. argh. life's really getting in on me. but all is improving. hey dalg, your site is still down leh..think i should better allocate my time. i haven't even been online this entire week to say the least. but i think i am getting back into blogging and all.. firstly must say hi to raydance for making a smashing comeback, and to all the readers who might have kinda got tired of waiting for something new to pop up. life's been busy i must say. addition of 3 hours of lesson for me per week, it really adds up you know.

plenty of things happening. i almost got drunk at my friend's place. read: almost. but i had to stay sober cos my extremely cute friend begged me not to konked out as we had to take care of the girls, help to clean up this stone drunk girl, who err kinda dirtied herself through the rejection by the body of some external fluids. had plenty of fun going crazy too. next time, i'll try my vodka.

and the most amazing news is probably that my dearest ex msg me one day and told me that he still liked me. right. to which i went "why?" and i got the most irritating reply, "becos i feel that way". that jerk, i found out that he just broke up with his stead and so i msg "oh, which is why u came running to me cos u are lonely?" which is probably true, its been almost a fucking year. and no contact nothing. finally, i made up my mind and let it all go and i felt so free and look who's crawling. i don't give a damn about him, i shall be as vicious as i want!!! haha..

on a more humane note, been hanging out with all my good old friends, from vjc and all over the place, esp my cca friends. and talking alot to mark. yep, finally had time to chat with him. feeling good, just slightly tired. been doing my work too. yep life's picking up.

been getting into a mighty lot of trouble, and finally worming myself out of it. again yesh, my friend commented that i have this uncanny ability to worm myself out of trouble. note the word worm. anyhow its been a messy week with plenty of fun. and before that let me just say hi to j, who has found out not too long ago who i am.. haha and to sm for being quite perceptive, but generally any non-blonde with enough sense can guess who i am. oki i can guess who i am.. anyhow i can't believe i almost fallen for this net guy. yesh he's cute i mean he's Hongky (all my guy frens whom been to hk told me i would drool to death when i get there). yesh, talkin excessively to this net guy, and still.

mugging harder, got a new hair cut, getting a new start hopefully. and yep, plenty of action to look forward to. an outing with the class over the weekend, a stayover at my friend's place over the weekend with my cca friends. more cuppa with my old friend.. life is good, life is great life is unbelievable...

yes, i have disappeared for a long time, not taking a hiatus actually, just that i was so busy preparing for my cca and all that i am left with no time to type. and the other thing is that whenever i do actually sit down and type, either blogger or the comp will fail on me, so it seems like fate that i don't get to blog. so many things have happened, and so much more that i can't say it over here. but i am really happy, and really contented. feeling really free, but at the same time a sense of loss. something that is so good, is going to end. i will miss walking out in the warmth sun, listening to my MD and feeling the surroundings.

life and relationships are always so complex. and yes i am not particularly happy about my current position. someone popped me the question. oh well, i didn't agree quite obviously. wonders what is wrong. but its oki, life will work things out, it usually does. anyhow its better to focus on my studies for now. and anyway i am in deep shit...

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lets just see, sbs profit (note that this is the amount they earn after they pay off all wages, dividend, etc) they are earning increasing from 3.9 billion to about 4.6 billion, dipping only to 4.2 billion last year due to some investment, smrt however has earned about 10 billion in the year 2000, and so they claim that operating cost is increasing after they have switched to energy saving air-con that has saved them 1.2 million in operating cost. is there something i am not getting here? economy recession -> lower wages -> retrenchment-> increase in prices? okie so the increase is only 3c to 5c. not a lot right, let just say that this amounts to an increase of about $8-$12 dollars in theory per person per month. and guess what the chairman of LTA or sbs or SMRT whatever said. well the consumers should expect a price revision every july. (price revision = price increase) fuck him. ask him to try to take his sbs bus and check out the freaking leg space and let him get irritated to no end by his tv-mobile. so smart, they add tv-mobile to one of the services, and say operating cost increased. DAMN everybody DON'T really want tv-mobile, so take the damn thing off and reduce your operating cost.

do you know that singapore is amongst the few country in the entire world that makes profit, and surprise surprise, we are proud commuters of one of the world's most expensive public transport. lets see, in japan, buses come at about 50-60 yen, train services is about 100+yen servicing tokyo. perth has 3 free train station, and from city to the other end, its about 70cents. WOW.. one station is singapore is 80cents. ok, the tube and the subway is not that expensive either. so maybe we have cheaper cabs.

you just can't freaking raise the price every year. i mean does anybody remember the days when one end to the other end is 1.20 cents. boon lay to pasir ris. and buses still comes in 30cents. not a lot what, 10c, 20c a year.. look how much issit now. 1.85cents. inflation, yesh, but comparing profit! i mean profit, if they are earning so much more than the 2.6 or isit 3.6 percent inflation.. 10 fucking billion dollars!!!!!!!!! now i am missing something. oh yeah, be prepared when u start working, cos average person spend about $100-$150 dollars on public transport, no i am not talking about cabs, just buses and/or trains. and price hike every july..

hahah i just typed some stuff and i accidentally closed the window again. was just saying that i am getting so sick of my layout and will be changing it when school reopens and i am more free. which is kinda ironic cos pple usually have more free time during the hols, but i spent my whole hols at my cca, and that my cca is gonna end in a week plus... real sad, will miss all the fun, and this guy from my course and this junior.. we kinda got really chummy for a good while, hope to keep in touch though.






What type of Bishounen are you? Find out at artificial-soul.net by Rin.


believe that? ladies or men... hrmm right, how did they know? am i that famous?!

well well. great day till something happened, something along the lines of I LOST MY BLOODY WALLET ALONG WITH MY STUFFS!. but something else happened. see i was kinda like trying to find my wallet in the cinema, then there was this kinda good looking guy looking for something too, and i was just wondering whether i should use the good old pick-up line "looking for something too?" and to my suprise, that guy asked me.. and we ended up chatting, but due to certain prescence, we couldn't exchange numbers.. dammit.. but anyway.. tiring day today and the rest of the week and i swear one of my teachers/instructor is gonna skin me soon (X-files anybody?)

"hey, hey baby, i wanna know, if you be my girl"

there's just so much book that i have to get.. and i so need to settle my love life, ok, maybe fill up my lack of love life... i want you! not really, but i honestly do feel something. not my ex.. i just msged my ex, but yeah, its gonna be friends thats it. at max, wham bam thankyou mam. oki sick!.. sigh..i needa talk to so many pple. when my cca ends, i promise i would study with YOU (mark) as much as possible, call those friends and get a life. in the mean time, i still like you, but i guess i should stop ranting about it and dream about it instead

i am exclaiming out loud now that i have the hugest crush on WON BIN and it is not stopping. me and my sis have been going crazy over this guy for the past week, and argh.... this time its me and my sis drooling at the same time over the comp. sheesh!. and i am going to get myself that wonbin poster i saw, the really big one to paste on my wall.

actually i am not in a good mood, but i am not gonna say why. no point. i swear it that s**t is going on any longer, i am going to split into 2.

Their idea of peace on earth is to inflict their psychoses on others.

i don't know what to do anymore.. and it is not like you don't know, i told u way before that. and argh!

i am back, been away for the past few days. had some pretty enriching experience. but mostly disturbing. my ex called. for no rime of reason. actually a rather lame excuse to ask me about someone whom i obviously know nuts about and then claiming that this other person had been calling him quite often; bad start if u ask me. it was kinda inconvienient to talk, so i said i would call back when i could. and i did not. felt very wierd. it has been so long, no communications, nothing. he decided to aviod me and subsequently, i decided i should get over him, and i pretty much did. i am feeling rather upset by the fact that our relationship does not bother me anymore. but anyhow, i don't care and i don't know what i should do. its just that. it has been so long, so much hurt, so much pain, so much tears...but i should be more concerned about what is going on now. will not elababorate. in case it gets too obvious about who i happen to be still liking.

i don't know how to chat properly! its not that i lack inter-personal skill/social skill. its that i can't talk over the icq.. i can talk on the phone, go on lengthy emails with my net friends, but somehow, i found out, much to my displeasure, that i cannot initiate a proper nice conversation like i can do over the phones. 'tis not a bad thing, but sometimes, when u can't call the person as yet, and u are too lazy to type a complete email, icq seems to do the trick. but still, thats not the point. the point is, i am trying to talk to this person over icq, this particular person, and i think i am making a bad impression. but still, i am highly jaded by relationships still. still pondering over the possibilty of love, over the possibility of someone remaining faithful, whether both party will really ever like each other and not one party likes me because i like him. still jaded. still crushed.

death and life isn't that much difference is it? they are just 2 sides to the same coin. actually there's always 2 side to everything.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
-frost-

its always about choices isn't it? and now i guess i should choose.

chesire, don't feel that upset. parents are like that. and sister are almost always irritating just like younger brothers. we all go through some shit like this. its ongoing. come now, take it easy, you know u love ur mother, and that would prevail one day. my mother loved gramps so much, but gramps never did find out until the last days of her life, and if u heard what gramps said to mother, you would tear. but mom always know in the end who really care for them. take care...

cologenics has upgraded thier service, do check it out.. they include a personality analysis (WOW)

YELLOW is the most communicative of the colors. You are bright, expressive and radiate warmth. Sometimes you might talk too much, but people always find you interesting. Above all, you have a zest for life!

BLUE personalities are the most creative and artistic of all of the colors. Imagination is your middle name and you love to express your mind freely. You are a true visionary who usually makes your dreams come true!

and this is from the another website




I'm exceptionally artistic!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

Virtues: You look for immense creativity and individuality in people, including yourself. You're not happy with anything less than brilliant, and you focus on being expressive. You value energy, liveliness, and upbeat personalities, but you're not supportive of moodiness when you yourself can be unreliably moody. Seeking activity, you like the bustle of business but need the secluded atmosphere of a studio or private corner.

Aspirations: You feel the need to express your talents, whether it be through writing, drawing, singing, dancing, composing, performing, or photographing. While you strive to ever improve your work, you want to display it as soon as possible when your impatience kicks in. You want to be a prodigy but you might not have the means right at your fingertips. Trust me, do NOT move to New York to do it. Yeesh!

Quirks: Conformists bother you because of their lack of individuality. You're often late or unreliable. You're showy and refuse to share the spotlight. You only tell little white lies. You worm your way into the hearts of others, but be careful; some people despise the show-offs.

Factors: Surround yourself with activity and you'll always have material to work with. Involve friends and family in your projects so they don't feel like envious outsiders.

Future: Show business or not, you'll settle down happily if you're among those who appreciate your natural talents and desire to perform. Don't stay in one place too long, and don't be too hasty in defining your relationships. Who are you to judge what only time will tell?

bumped around today, did nothing much essentially.. alanna you look GREAT with you short hair, maybe short (hehe) of kirsten dunst, but still great nonetheless. actually i haven't been particularly free, and i am feeling kinda guilty cos i haven't been doing much homework. oki i admit, i haven't done any. been busying myself with stuff like hanging out with friends, going for my cca and doing alot of other stuff...

i was browsing through the times magazine, and was pretty shocked and upset over this particular article. nahz its not so much about pakistan and india, they have been fighting since eons ago and peace will never prevail until one of the old dying folk dies. it was this article about this sailor that made history when he sailed across pacific ocean 2 decades back on somee primitive boat (i think it is reed or prypus or something like that). he tried to sail the same road again earlier this year and was shocked at how much the ocean has changed, he said that there was so much rubbish, plastic bottles, cans, bags, amongst others; the water has become very sticky to the extent of feeling slickish. he said that it was so contaminated that he and the sailors don't even dare to dip their toothbrush in the water sometimes. isn't it sad how fast we are destroying the environment. in a span of 20 years, or 50 since industrailisation, we have altered the face of the earth more than the 4.6 billion years, and none of the change is reversible. goodness. can we progress without harming the earth?