had a nice and long conversation with this friend of mine. there was this section on how you know that guy you are talking to or eyeing for that matter is gay. well this is for the female readers actually. but i can't really remember now, so i guess i will put it up in another posting.

here are some blonde joke
1. what did the blonde do when she missed bus 44? she took bus 22 twice
2. when the blonde tried to drive to the airport, she saw a sign that said "Airport Left", turned around and went home.
3. in the middle of the day, just before the blood test, a blonde got really worried, because she forgot to study for it!!! hahahaha

Queer As Folks 01x12
"You probably think this is all about you being gay don't you? Well I admit, it might have been at first, but that's not the point anymore. Whether you're gay or you're straight, I thought we were friends."
"We are..."
"But friends trust each other, what did you think would happen if you told me? That i'd tell everyone at the store? I wouldn't have, mike, don't you know that?"
"I should have... But when you spend your entire life keeping it a secret-- who you really are. You learn to stop trusting people, and it becomes second nature..."

ok, my new layout is about to be done, much thanks to YW for helping with it. doesn't it look simply arty and simple? i think its a piece done by picasso or whoever. well nothing much going on, other than studying and drooling my heart out. yes, typical me. wonders how many times i have done that already. everyday we fall in love with the most beautiful guy in this planet, that is before we bump into another one the next day (c.f 2 entries ago).

oh yar the links are not up yet, gimme sometime ok? and hey pple, look carefully at the pictures and tell me how many faces are there! yepyep all the blocks shades and whatnots all depict faces in one way.

its kinda funny that now, my ex is actually crawling back to me. some of you guys might still remember the horrendous experience i had last year - the hospital shit and all? anybody? ok, good raydance and a couple of others remember. the reason he gave NOW, was that he did not knew if the operation would be successful, so he had to treat me that way so that i would forget him and will not worry about him. HAH, what a bunch of lies. my goodness. some people actually believed that and went "awww isn't that sweet". sweet my ASS. for those who knew that incident, those behaviour are not out of "oh no i don't want him to worry over me". if it was, somebody would not bat an eye when i was tearfully talking to him with blood on my wrist. but anyhow, now that the entire issue has passed, i am still friends with him. i rather make friends than enemy unless you are a certain irritating jackass jock from my school. its kinda cool to have a few people go after me at one time. ah.. you know what would be better (too much details on this hahaha) well wonders if that guy i just mailed would respond...

study hard to all the pple taking A's!!! JIA YOU!! take care folks

i typed an entire chunk of words about something which i felt. but then it didn't come out quite the way i wanted it to. well you see, i read something regarding a past love. it kinda hurts when you read about someone you used to like possibly liking someone else. but the point is that it didn't upset me much, i just felt kinda wierd... i don't know if that is the correct description, but you get the idea? maybe i have moved on involuntarily. i think i want to stay in love but i don't really love him? could that be it? could it be that 10 months of liking someone is too much and that eventually it all has to end... could it be that?

i am going to announce officially that my crush for wildcat is going to come to an end. not that i am liking him less, but i have decided it is pointless to keep running away from a relationship by developing crushes on half the world half the time. but then again, i'm gay, i should be drooling over all the guys like there's this really cute guy that i've met that day, he's................

hahahhaha

took this off my friend, mull over it will ya??

Queer as Folk
"The thing you need to know is, it's all about sex. It's true. In fact, they say men think about sex every 28 seconds. Of course, that's straight men. Gay men it's every nine. You could be at the supermarket, or the laundromat or buying a fabulous shirt when suddenly you find yourself checking out some hot guy. Hotter than the one you saw last weekend or went home with the night before which...explains why we're all at Babylon at one in the morning instead of at home, in bed. But who wants to be at home, in bed? Especially alone...when you can be here, knowing that at any moment...you might see him. The most beautiful man whoever lived. That is, until tomorrow night..."

for the uninitiated, Queer as Folk is an american drama about, well, gays. yepyep

somehow i think most pple look cute at clubs because of the horrible lighting....

there's some prob with the server...
bear with it

test

i guess i would be gone off the bloggin scene for quite sometime. you are right, maybe i am posting a bit too much.. i need to get away from this for awhile. goodbye folks, it was definitely a good blogging experience.

i never wanted a comments box or a shoutout box because i am most afraid that something would happened. but alas things happened even when you try your best to prevent it. i guess there must be a need for it to happen.

i so do not want this happen, i don't want to argue with you, not after we've gone through so much to become friends.. are we just going to let some women who has been spreadin ills abt me using ur name to ruin what both of us tried hard to achieve?

its really hard to guess what's going on in people's heart. but words get around. its scary the way they do, but words get around. and to you: you have achieved what u've set out to, but spoiled things. but don't worry, you'll never get me down. i stand tall and have got all the things in the world and what have you? you mouth so that u can say more things about others??

in a fit of an anger, i've typed a really insensitive post. and in the process i may have lost a friend. i don't think well when i am angry. i am sorry for having typed that. i apologise. it seems that there are people who read this blog and do not care two hoots about the author, for crying out loud, read the disclaimer.. and if you want to use someone else's name, please think of the consequences. like how i should think about stuff before i said anything... so if you do read my page, and i know you do.... would u just open your bloody eyes and think of how pple feel. and don't use someone else's name to backstab me.. its more disgusting than anything.. now that you've sow discord between something i've tried hard to build, may u rot in the depths of hell..

and to you, i am sorry i typed that really insensitive post.. i truly am

i think i am an interestingly boring person... am i? but whatever it is i am going to drive myself insane sooner or later with this love thing. i should stop playing mindgames now that i've found out that he is a fellow scorpio too. it is easy to play such mind battles with others cos scorpios are generally gd at such and can read pple quite well, whether we want to or not is another thing. but anyhow to play mindgames with a fellow scorpio is a killer, go check out all thouse horoscopes site and they'll tell you too. anyhow i've got a gift for him liaoz, its goanne total to abt 80, oh my god, why am i spendin so much??

anyhow i caught sweet home alabama today cos won some perfect 10 thingy, so was at marina today. it was such a sweet show, couples (read:alanna and THE BELOVED) should go and catch it. then there's this character bobby ray who is gay and i decently cute.. its worth the 7 bucks (not 8). a really really sweet show, though the plot is quite predictable after the first few surprises...

off to my bed where i can finally see him, in my dreams that is

i feel like a dog, i feel like a puppy, you know the ones that forever look like they lost a beloved. i feel more alone than i have ever been. maybe cos last time, being alone is not that bad cos its just alone. but now being alone means not being with someone. that just kinda adds salt to the wound. (what wound, i sound like i have gotten out of love when i haven't even got into one). it is all the same.

you irritate me to no end.

i dreamt
i dreamt of you,
i dreamt that we had a long long phone conversation, and that you agreed to meet.
i dreamt that we went down to the beach and strolled under the moonlit night, under the gaze of the stars
i dreamt that you told me you were tired from the concert that night, and you gradually leaned towards me and slept on my shoulder
i dream that you told me you will make inseparable cities with thier arms about each other's neck, by the love of the comrades; and kissed me

New Radicals - Someday We'll Know

90 miles outside chicago
Can't stop driving
I don't know why
So many questions
I need an answer
Two years later you're still on my mind
Whatever happened to Emilia Earhart
Who holds the stars up in the sky
Is true love just once in a lifetime
Did the captain of the Titanic cry?

(chorus)
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I was meant for you

Does anybody know the way to Atlantis
Or what the wind says when she cries
I'm speeding by the place that I met you
For the 97th time..... tonight

(chorus)

Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you
(yeah yeah yeah yeah)

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me....tonight

(chorus)

i don't really know what to say. my mind is a blank. i miss talking to him, even though it was only 2 days ago since i chatted with him. waiting for his call now. i feel kinda stupid waiting, but i am waiting nonetheless - no it does not imply i am stupid.

played my guitar a lot today, learnt a new song in a matter of minutes (yes its a simple song, not because i am good), it's a nice song actually, Sweetness by Jimmy Eat World.

i have always thought that one should not over zealously engage in a conversation unless there's a need to, so someone else starts a conversation. but i realised that it could not have been the case because if everyone thought like that, there would be no conversation unless situation calls for it. well probably because i don't really feel talky these days. i just want talk to you(him)... i am lovesick......

and other than that i really don't know what to say. strange for once i am quiet. this is bad bad.

its the dead of the night, i can't sleep cos so many things happened in the day. HIS phone was off, so i couldn't call through and i have been upset and uneasy. yes that plus the fact that i am in a bad mood, i am pissed by you and you and you. all of you actually, no not all of you. WTF am i rambling about? i think i am going insane for this month again, how interesting.

honestly i am really not interested to engage in such little nitty-gritty detailed conversation with you, but i don't exactly have a choice, it kills me to say no. but let it be known that i don't really want to. and you, yes just shut up would you, i don't really want to know what you did with whom when and what condom u used. and you, when i say i'll be there in 5, i mean 10 and i am almost always late, so be there late and don't be irritating. and you, don't give me the looks, i HATE it. and you, if u have no idea what u are talking about, don't talk, makes sense? NO, i am not straight, yes i am gay... are u?

argh i am going nuts. i need someone to hug to sleep. yes, if u think u fit the bill - i have irritating high standards - (now u shut up and don't say anything to this) i'll be one of the sweetest stead you'll ever have, serious.. and did i mention i was good in ... well excess information. i am so incoherent, i think i need sleep, yes, sleep and blood, and vodka and sex, what else can be better, the A levels???

arh!!!!!!!!! WILDCAT just called me, like just. oh man, i am like all smiles and well, secured a date with him on friday. well apparently there's some minor screw-ups in the schedule, at any rate, i'll be going over to his place!!! oh man!! i can't believe it. well i dunno, but he sounded very shaky when he called, and this is a very wierd time to call. see i have this friend who calls at such horrible hours, and i was just about to lecture my "friend" before i realise its HIM. i can just imagine what would happen that day. see now i don't even need to try to plant my devious plan, its working by itself, and maybe its self-sustaining..

i can't stop gushin cos the world's asleep and i can't call anyone to gush. i think i would be sleeping really well tonight, and have sweeet dreams. okokok, i was joking, serious.

i went clubbing last night!! its been quite awhile since i last clubbed. it was a straight club, and i must say it is not very much different from a gay club. just that in gay clubs, the guys are a lot cuter and we do more things inside there. as we can dance more crazily, flirt shamelessly and a host of stuff which u don't really want to know. went with cute guy/sch team tennis player and it was err nice. got to hug him (ah....)

it was our friends' birthday yesterday actually. and we kinda got a g-string (note: tiny little thing with a transparent netted y back) and we made them put it on!! haha and i got photos of it.. man what a celebration.

i missed the fireworks yesterday!! the esplanade one. i was like walking in citylink hopin to get to esplanade in time when i heard the explosions (fireworks lahz) and by the time i rushed out, it was over.. ARgh!!! but as a consolation, i bumped into wildcat!!! hrmm

i am so happy, i almost got it going with wildcat, yesh he's like the cutest guy around. now just gotta try to get my devious plan in action then the rest would be history. lets see, i found out somethin abt my junior/vp today, got a great massage from a great guy. long story, but he kinda let his secret out of the bag. then my other er love affair (read affair, so i am entitled to many!! ahahahah), well lets just say that i happen to know his close friend who is gay. so let just see how things unfold. this love affair is just so sweet. lets see, i made a passing comment that my discman was spoiled, then cute guy/sch team tennis player whips out his mp3player and offer it to me, so that i can have some music on my way home. ah how sweet is that.

ok gotta stop gushin. sigh i think i am going to drop lit, something out of necessity, not choice, but what the hell. gotta go sleep and dream of some feline creatures (yeah it really helps, i slept so well after i chatted with him and almosts landed myself in his house) *slut*.. oops

let's see, i've finally laid my hands on AVRIL LAVIGNE's debut album - let go - and i must say that it is pretty decent, the songs sounds good, and the lyrics are just so honest. its a good buy and considering that i got at 5 bucks below music junction's price, i think its a great bargain. yes alanna i can see your eyes rolling, be careful of they'll drop. anyhow, see i was suppose to like avril like, that is before u discover that her lead guitarist - evan taubenfeld - is actually kinda cute (and blonde!!!) yepyep. he was the lead singer/guitarist of the band spinfire, released a couple of albums and he quit to join avril lavigne's band. uh-huh, although sometimes he doesn't look cute in the photos, you should so check out the pics and the vids.

that aside, do you know according to a study done by french researchers, blondes are an endangered species and it is estimated that the last real blonde will be born in finland and they will become extinct by 2202, sigh.. see once the more intelligent species is gone, i can't imagine what will happen to the human race, well if only i can give birth to a younger blonde... then maybe there's hope.. er... right hahahahah!!!

its good to have a sister that knows abt one's sexuality. for me i can happily gush over the absolutely gorgeous actors with my sis =p like hideaki takizawa (over music station) and vincent ng and.... and i can bring guys home and she would grade them for me. hahah well well - ok i saw that raised eye brows of yours.

nothing exciting in my life now, 'cept that i am acquiring a new old guitar tmr (2nd hand lahz) and the book - at swim 2 boys - is really good read. ok i've gotta admit, there's a new guy (yes again!). an old friend of mine, always thought he swu(a)ng the other way. yep i would find out soon. i've gotta move on man, i can't stay lovelorn forever right, besides its always good to have someone being exceedingly nice to you and do silly things like merging our names together to form another name.... and did i mention he's cute *gush* and he's a tennis player (school team) *droolz*

shit i am beginning to think i am real shallow, or maybe i am. nahz you know how it goes, looks play a huge part too though they are not everything. (i am gay i can't help it) ok, going back to revision, tata!!!