thx dear for the great evening! and thx stan, appreciate it.

i would just like to say a couple of things and i would like to quote from oprah "i am finally ready to own my own power; to say all right this is who i am. if you like it, you like it; and if you don't, you don't. so watch out i am going to fly"

i think it sums up all i have been trying to say. to be able to believe in yourself, to have self empowerment, is all there is; its all that it takes. i am able to accept the fact that i am gay, and i can tell the world about it, is because i have faith in me, and i believe in myself. and i think that a person cannot go very far in life, go that extra mile without this belief and this courage; the courage to be able to let it all go and to believe in all that you do. its the same, it doesn't matter what, be it exams, work, ideas, yourself. that belief, that courage, that persistance, says alot

and when you can believe in yourself, then can you sacrifice yourself to fufill a greater cause. and it is that that matters. and it is that faith that matters, not the cause and effect, not how someone will affect your life, your promotion, your 'face', how others view you. those are small, negligible part of the bigger picture. of the full picture of the drive to succeed, of the drive as a person to walk that 1metre more to succeed, to push that extra bit more to get a CAP score of 4.0 or more; for me, to persevere in my pursuit of my career despite all the downtrodding i have to take, despite all the stress and pressure. i know that this believe in myself will push me.

and if you don't believe me, it doesn't matter to me. but you can try to for a start.

on another note, i must really push myself hard to pass the course, for my mom and dad, so that can have a better life; and for him, so that he wouldn't have to work so hard in the future and we can have a good life down the road. as i was sitting beside him in the car today, i saw this guy and i just know that i want to spend the rest of my life with him. we might have some issues, but we always sort things out, and things are falling into place. its beyond words. really.