yesterday night, was the third night i held my victorinox to sleep. i felt so out of place and so lost i needed something to bring me down. back where i know something. didn't do anything with it. not yet anyway.

i'll be leaving on july 23 for about half a year. be back in december (hopefully) and then off again in late december till about february or march. and i am feeling even worse because of that. but he knows what to say to make me feel slightly better. the fact that if i leave earlier means i would be back earlier. and when i come back, he would have just ord not too long before that. which is definitely true.

i am at a crisis. i don't want to pass this. i am so sick of it. i am so disgusted. i am lost. i have been thinking way too much lately and as you can tell, my sentences aren't too coherent. crap.

help