for some inexplicable reason, i felt really happy today. i felt light and ready to move. i supposed i finally let go and moved on. it was so strange, as i walked away from the void deck, i didn't feel that familiar tinge of sadness, i wasn't even hurt. i felt nothing much. it was more of a 'yeah we used to walk this stretch of road together but oh well' and that's it.

i think at the end of the day, i am just happy for him, and knowing that he cares is really more than enough. and really i am fine. i am really happy. for once, i am happy. and colin, my dearest dearest buddy who's stood by me every step of the way, said 2 days ago that the [k] he knew was finally back. (in response to my usual harsh sms)

and i guess he's right. i feel that i am coming back. i am happy and cheery for real, and not hiding behind my mask.

this doesn't change a few things though.

so many people to thank, i don't even know where to start. you know who you guys are and thanks for being there for me. and jem, thanks for making my day.

finally. i am back!