day 2 of my brand new me campaign! and i can feel it working. the day just passed by like that. its difficult but i'm good. it won't be that fast but slowly and surely i will get out of this rug.
there are moments of missing, but i don't cry over it anymore. its just missing. and when i was reading all old messages u sent me, i didn't tear. it just brought about memories, and a tinge, just a little tinge of heartache. what an improvement!
day by day, one day at a time, i will make myself and my life better.
but somethings will never change, like my love for you.
did i tell you about this absolutely cutie pie i saw this morning........hahaha!
Aug 17, 2006
and so i decided that a brand new day would bring about a brand new me. i can't go on feeling depressed and be stuck. and so i am moving forward in my life, facing the pain. i promised you that i would be happy, that for your sake i will be happy. and i will try. it is not easy, but i will.
thanks for still caring for me, thanks for keeping me in that tiny corner of your heart still.
all you said, i remember. all that i said, i hope you remember too. you know how i feel for you.
thanks for still caring for me, thanks for keeping me in that tiny corner of your heart still.
all you said, i remember. all that i said, i hope you remember too. you know how i feel for you.
Aug 16, 2006
i just watched oprah. for the first time, on channel 5. and somehow everything that she said just resonated in my heart. there's no way out of the pain but to walk through it. there's no shortcut, no formula, nothing. one has to survive it and walk out of it.
the show was about this woman who's life was blown to pieces after her husband died in the 9/11 attack. and somehow i'm feeling. isn't death a better resolution. isn't death finality. at least he is not coming back anymore. the end. dealing with death seems to be so much easier. there's nothing else to hope, nothing else to imagine. there's nothing. and isn't emptiness simply the best.
yes he left. and what exactly do you do when the person is still around but not really around anymore. if one left because of death, the i suppose it would be so much easier to handle. after the grieve, we move on. maybe it takes awhile, but we move on. but when one leaves cause of circumstances, especially at the parting moment, we still love each other. how does one deal with that. and how does one deal with a change of heart less than one month after parting.
kathryn (the women in the show) said that her husband's last words to her were "i love you, take care of the kids". and isn't that enough to survive on. because you know that the end, right before he died, he loves you. and he took the love to his grave. to eternity.
and so i sat there in front of the TV, waiting to find out how does the psychologist recommend moving on. oprah said she really respects kathryn for being able to do things normally. soul's hurt but at least life routine's move on. my life routine is moving on too. i wake up every morning and draw my curtains to let light in, like alwyn said i should. i remember the 1st few weeks i would just rot in bed, i would refuse to wake up and keep crying and hoping.
i refused to let life routine continue, i refuse to meet my friends. i didn't even eat or sleep. it took me a month to snap out of that but i did. now i even go to school and take notes in lecture.
and oprah and the psychologist said that while that's good that everything is done right, the soul is still hurt. and it takes a lot more for the soul to heal. i forced myself to hide all my grieve from everyone for the past 3 weeks and i couldn't take it anymore, and i shouldn't hide it. i should just continue to grieve and walk through the pain.
maybe someday you'll be back. maybe you'll never come back at all. i think i have said enough to you. "dear i really love you alot. thanks for all." you said that to me the 1st time we parted and now i am returning it to you. i really do love you. thanks for all.
there's no shortcut, there's no formula. i can only walk through the pain, and surrounding myself with people who would let me talk about, not my anger, but my pain. and one day i will walk through it.
all i ever wanted, was to spend my lifetime loving you.
the show was about this woman who's life was blown to pieces after her husband died in the 9/11 attack. and somehow i'm feeling. isn't death a better resolution. isn't death finality. at least he is not coming back anymore. the end. dealing with death seems to be so much easier. there's nothing else to hope, nothing else to imagine. there's nothing. and isn't emptiness simply the best.
yes he left. and what exactly do you do when the person is still around but not really around anymore. if one left because of death, the i suppose it would be so much easier to handle. after the grieve, we move on. maybe it takes awhile, but we move on. but when one leaves cause of circumstances, especially at the parting moment, we still love each other. how does one deal with that. and how does one deal with a change of heart less than one month after parting.
kathryn (the women in the show) said that her husband's last words to her were "i love you, take care of the kids". and isn't that enough to survive on. because you know that the end, right before he died, he loves you. and he took the love to his grave. to eternity.
and so i sat there in front of the TV, waiting to find out how does the psychologist recommend moving on. oprah said she really respects kathryn for being able to do things normally. soul's hurt but at least life routine's move on. my life routine is moving on too. i wake up every morning and draw my curtains to let light in, like alwyn said i should. i remember the 1st few weeks i would just rot in bed, i would refuse to wake up and keep crying and hoping.
i refused to let life routine continue, i refuse to meet my friends. i didn't even eat or sleep. it took me a month to snap out of that but i did. now i even go to school and take notes in lecture.
and oprah and the psychologist said that while that's good that everything is done right, the soul is still hurt. and it takes a lot more for the soul to heal. i forced myself to hide all my grieve from everyone for the past 3 weeks and i couldn't take it anymore, and i shouldn't hide it. i should just continue to grieve and walk through the pain.
maybe someday you'll be back. maybe you'll never come back at all. i think i have said enough to you. "dear i really love you alot. thanks for all." you said that to me the 1st time we parted and now i am returning it to you. i really do love you. thanks for all.
there's no shortcut, there's no formula. i can only walk through the pain, and surrounding myself with people who would let me talk about, not my anger, but my pain. and one day i will walk through it.
all i ever wanted, was to spend my lifetime loving you.
i hate this place. i can't make myself feel better. i want to leave this place for good. away from everything. every single day, i appear to be strong, and maybe i am slowly getting stronger. but the stronger i get, the more i miss you. and the more i wonder why do i do all that i do anymore.
i used to work so hard to fulfill our goals and our dreams. and what has that amounted to. i just want to get away. go somewhere else where i don't know a single shit and start my life there. because my life here has unexpectedly ended. i feel so lonely. so lonely. so lonely.
there are so many things friends can do. i appreciate every single thing that you guys have done. but there are some void that no one can replace.
i told myself, one day at a time, i can make my life better. i told my bestie, one day at a time, he can make his life better. and he did. he is feeling so much better already. and what about me? yeah yeah, on the surface everything's great! wooohooo, i love my trip. but deep inside i feel like fuck
why isn't all this a fucking nightmare that i can wake up from
i told myself, i can't cry anymore, and i didn't cry for 2 weeks. then things happened. and i am not even sure of anything. i thought u cared for me, do you? or i am just being delusional.
letting go. letting go. letting go. letting go.
there's so many things that we haven't done. we haven't even seen the world together. so many things. what am i do to do? what am i to do? with all the memories, with all the hopes with all the emotions. they were so rudely returned to me just like that.
i used to work so hard to fulfill our goals and our dreams. and what has that amounted to. i just want to get away. go somewhere else where i don't know a single shit and start my life there. because my life here has unexpectedly ended. i feel so lonely. so lonely. so lonely.
there are so many things friends can do. i appreciate every single thing that you guys have done. but there are some void that no one can replace.
i told myself, one day at a time, i can make my life better. i told my bestie, one day at a time, he can make his life better. and he did. he is feeling so much better already. and what about me? yeah yeah, on the surface everything's great! wooohooo, i love my trip. but deep inside i feel like fuck
why isn't all this a fucking nightmare that i can wake up from
i told myself, i can't cry anymore, and i didn't cry for 2 weeks. then things happened. and i am not even sure of anything. i thought u cared for me, do you? or i am just being delusional.
letting go. letting go. letting go. letting go.
there's so many things that we haven't done. we haven't even seen the world together. so many things. what am i do to do? what am i to do? with all the memories, with all the hopes with all the emotions. they were so rudely returned to me just like that.
Aug 15, 2006
i have no idea what is happening to me. how is that i can do this to myself for so long, i cannot believe that i haven't stopped thinking about you. since the first day i met you, you were the 1st thing on my mind when i wake up, you are the last thing on my mind before i slept. after we have broken up, i still think about you. every single day.
this cycle, this never ending cycle.
i am so tired of everything. i don't want to know someone else. i don't want to go through all the drama, and start everything with someone else. the notion just makes me sick.
is having a hope better than no hope? is false hope better than no hope? what is life without hope? why do we live if we all don't hope a better day?
i don't know what to do. someone please tell me what to do. being stuck in a moment for too long. for way too long.
come back to me please. i love you. i'll make it all up to you.
Kimberley Locke - Without You
Never even thought to cry
When I heard you say goodbye
Never said where you were going
And theres no laughter in the air
Only silence everywhere
And so much left unspoken
Since you've been gone
I haven't been the same
I wish that I could see
Who's to blame
Without you, where do I belong?
Without you, how can I go on?
And no love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am i supposed to live my life?
Without you
oooooo
Was in lost in you and ne
To the point I couldn't see
That what we had was dying
Now it's all that I can do
To see photographs of you
And stop myself from crying
I should learn to live without your love
Got so many memories
But it's not enough
Without you, where do i belong?
Without you, how can i go on?
And no love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life
Without you?
I feel helpless and oh so alone
Like I never felt before
You made feel alive
I don't remember what it's like anymore
Without you, where do I belong?
Without you, how can I go on?
No love, no love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life, without you?
Without you, where do I belong? (where do I belong?)
Without you, how can I go on?
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life,
Without you?
Oh baby, where do I belong? (without you)
Please tell me how can I go on?
this cycle, this never ending cycle.
i am so tired of everything. i don't want to know someone else. i don't want to go through all the drama, and start everything with someone else. the notion just makes me sick.
is having a hope better than no hope? is false hope better than no hope? what is life without hope? why do we live if we all don't hope a better day?
i don't know what to do. someone please tell me what to do. being stuck in a moment for too long. for way too long.
come back to me please. i love you. i'll make it all up to you.
Kimberley Locke - Without You
Never even thought to cry
When I heard you say goodbye
Never said where you were going
And theres no laughter in the air
Only silence everywhere
And so much left unspoken
Since you've been gone
I haven't been the same
I wish that I could see
Who's to blame
Without you, where do I belong?
Without you, how can I go on?
And no love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am i supposed to live my life?
Without you
oooooo
Was in lost in you and ne
To the point I couldn't see
That what we had was dying
Now it's all that I can do
To see photographs of you
And stop myself from crying
I should learn to live without your love
Got so many memories
But it's not enough
Without you, where do i belong?
Without you, how can i go on?
And no love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life
Without you?
I feel helpless and oh so alone
Like I never felt before
You made feel alive
I don't remember what it's like anymore
Without you, where do I belong?
Without you, how can I go on?
No love, no love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life, without you?
Without you, where do I belong? (where do I belong?)
Without you, how can I go on?
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life,
Without you?
Oh baby, where do I belong? (without you)
Please tell me how can I go on?
Aug 14, 2006
i am finally back from the states. long flight and and even longer journey. and what a trip it has been. its been a fun filled trip, together with plenty of emotions and plenty of learning.
i guess i learned a lot about life during this trip. the awe-inspiring grand canyon, the beauty of sedona. the grandeur of mother nature had a very humbling effect on me. and life just felt so perfect.
along the way, met many homeless people begging for money. and it just struck a chord that its good to be alive and there's hope and family. its really cold at night out there, and they sleep out in the streets waiting for another day to pass. to me, its desperation and if i had nothing to live for, why for am i still living. but they live on, day by day. and through them, i found strength.
and all this life lessons only make me love you more.
today would have been our 2.5 year anniversary. sorry i failed us.
五月天 - 我们 (时时刻刻)
我为何要存在
为何要感慨为
何颤抖停不下来
你为何要推翻
为何要离开
为何给我这个答案
我们曾经那么精采
我们曾经那么期待
最后你把回忆还我
要我好好过
你话中的计算
准确的伤害
像精心打造的对白
我划开了动脉
也许不醒来
至少昨天无法毁坏
我们曾经那么精采
我们曾经那么期待
最后你把回忆还我
要我好好过
我们最后这么遗憾
我们最后这么无关
时时刻刻每个现在都在嘲笑我
i guess i learned a lot about life during this trip. the awe-inspiring grand canyon, the beauty of sedona. the grandeur of mother nature had a very humbling effect on me. and life just felt so perfect.
along the way, met many homeless people begging for money. and it just struck a chord that its good to be alive and there's hope and family. its really cold at night out there, and they sleep out in the streets waiting for another day to pass. to me, its desperation and if i had nothing to live for, why for am i still living. but they live on, day by day. and through them, i found strength.
and all this life lessons only make me love you more.
today would have been our 2.5 year anniversary. sorry i failed us.
五月天 - 我们 (时时刻刻)
我为何要存在
为何要感慨为
何颤抖停不下来
你为何要推翻
为何要离开
为何给我这个答案
我们曾经那么精采
我们曾经那么期待
最后你把回忆还我
要我好好过
你话中的计算
准确的伤害
像精心打造的对白
我划开了动脉
也许不醒来
至少昨天无法毁坏
我们曾经那么精采
我们曾经那么期待
最后你把回忆还我
要我好好过
我们最后这么遗憾
我们最后这么无关
时时刻刻每个现在都在嘲笑我
Aug 8, 2006
sitting alone in union square, after exploring the northern area of san fran by myself. you are right. indeed being overseas is such a lonely thing. but these days, i enjoy being lonely. loneliness seems to be my best companion.
san fran, such an amazing city. but the way fate plays trick on us, i might not get to see you after all.
i guess, i really don't know what to feel about you. its barely a month and you got attached. we had a 2.5 year relationship and you just left, like that. you were so upset deep inside and you bared it all to me that day, why suddenly, you changed so much that none of your friends know you anymore.
i've been depressed for 7 weeks, and finally the past 2 weeks have been ok. and now the shock comes again, a reality check. what am i suppose to do? what am i suppose to do with all these memories, with all my love for you? its not that i can't move on. but seriously, what do you want me to do with all these years of bond, of love, of life.
i hate it you know. i hate how you could move on so quickly. i hate how you got over me. i hate that you are already attached to someone else, i hate it that i can never hold you again, i hate it that everything he whispers in your eyes are what i want to say to you. and most of all, i hate it that i don't hate you, not the slightest bit, not even at all.
san fran, such an amazing city. but the way fate plays trick on us, i might not get to see you after all.
i guess, i really don't know what to feel about you. its barely a month and you got attached. we had a 2.5 year relationship and you just left, like that. you were so upset deep inside and you bared it all to me that day, why suddenly, you changed so much that none of your friends know you anymore.
i've been depressed for 7 weeks, and finally the past 2 weeks have been ok. and now the shock comes again, a reality check. what am i suppose to do? what am i suppose to do with all these memories, with all my love for you? its not that i can't move on. but seriously, what do you want me to do with all these years of bond, of love, of life.
i hate it you know. i hate how you could move on so quickly. i hate how you got over me. i hate that you are already attached to someone else, i hate it that i can never hold you again, i hate it that everything he whispers in your eyes are what i want to say to you. and most of all, i hate it that i don't hate you, not the slightest bit, not even at all.
Aug 4, 2006
you made me so happy. then you made me so confused. sigh.
i don't know what to think, or don't know what to do. i miss you so much. i miss you everyday, and everyday i love you more. i brought the old nokia to US, to get a US line, and i accidentally read your old messages to me. they meant so much. you loved me so so much. what happened. do you not love me anymore?
i just want to spend my life with you, taking trips every year. be happy. and now, all i can think of is just the memories of us. and maybe sometime in the future we could be together, and we could go overseas to the grand canyon. i can show you the place. i have been driving around another area called sedona, and all i think of is you.
but everything moves on. i enjoy myself. i enjoyed myself tremendously, its a beautiful place. its so gorgeous over here in grand canyon and sedona. and i just think of you inside.
why must all of this happen to me. can't i ever get my happy ending. i thought you were the one i would spend my life with. are you still the one. i hope i can still love you.
thanks for still caring.
i don't know what to think, or don't know what to do. i miss you so much. i miss you everyday, and everyday i love you more. i brought the old nokia to US, to get a US line, and i accidentally read your old messages to me. they meant so much. you loved me so so much. what happened. do you not love me anymore?
i just want to spend my life with you, taking trips every year. be happy. and now, all i can think of is just the memories of us. and maybe sometime in the future we could be together, and we could go overseas to the grand canyon. i can show you the place. i have been driving around another area called sedona, and all i think of is you.
but everything moves on. i enjoy myself. i enjoyed myself tremendously, its a beautiful place. its so gorgeous over here in grand canyon and sedona. and i just think of you inside.
why must all of this happen to me. can't i ever get my happy ending. i thought you were the one i would spend my life with. are you still the one. i hope i can still love you.
thanks for still caring.
Jul 31, 2006
in less than an hour i will be making my way to the airport, taking a long trip to the land of freedom! to a place where there's a dick and a bush in the government
it will be a long journey. 18 hours flight, 6 hours break, and then a 10 hour train journey. sounds like death huh.
i will be back in 2 weeks time. during this 2 weeks, i hope i can take my mind off stuff, and relax, just like you told me to.
it should be fun.
thanks for your care and your concern, thank you for loving me. i love you too.
i will be thinking of you everyday till i see you there. =)
it will be a long journey. 18 hours flight, 6 hours break, and then a 10 hour train journey. sounds like death huh.
i will be back in 2 weeks time. during this 2 weeks, i hope i can take my mind off stuff, and relax, just like you told me to.
it should be fun.
thanks for your care and your concern, thank you for loving me. i love you too.
i will be thinking of you everyday till i see you there. =)
Jul 30, 2006
have i lost you forever already? did i just let you out of my hands more than a month ago? was everything i did too little too late? i tried my best to make it work. but i guess i wasn't good enough.
my days go on. you told me that i must take care of myself. you told me that i must take my mind off stuffs and relax.
how can i not love you? how can i really just walk away from all the memories like this. how can i just look back at all these memories of my life, from NS all the way till now and not hope that one day things will be like before, or better than before. where we spend so much time together.
you may think that we always quarrel. my friends, they squabble every day, but they are still so loving. we don't always quarrel you know. we spend our time at east coast alot. we have our suppers, our walks. you came over to my place and we'll always have coffee. i'll walk over and meet you before your flight if i can to have coffee with you. i would always complain but still i would sit you down and get you your tall latte. or if you are tired, your tall latte with extra short. unsweetened.
the biggest regret in my life, is that if we never ever get back, that its all my fault, that i would have to spend my life, loving you without having you by my side.
how can i not love you.
you who loves hazelnut
you who loves unsweetened latte
you who doesn't really eat brinjal
you and your silly smirk
you and your silly antics
you and your "imagine this" thing
you and your hugs
you who loves adidas
you who i always say i don't know what i love about, but in all honesty, i love everything about you.
you who is irreplaceable in my heart.
my days go on. you told me that i must take care of myself. you told me that i must take my mind off stuffs and relax.
how can i not love you? how can i really just walk away from all the memories like this. how can i just look back at all these memories of my life, from NS all the way till now and not hope that one day things will be like before, or better than before. where we spend so much time together.
you may think that we always quarrel. my friends, they squabble every day, but they are still so loving. we don't always quarrel you know. we spend our time at east coast alot. we have our suppers, our walks. you came over to my place and we'll always have coffee. i'll walk over and meet you before your flight if i can to have coffee with you. i would always complain but still i would sit you down and get you your tall latte. or if you are tired, your tall latte with extra short. unsweetened.
the biggest regret in my life, is that if we never ever get back, that its all my fault, that i would have to spend my life, loving you without having you by my side.
how can i not love you.
you who loves hazelnut
you who loves unsweetened latte
you who doesn't really eat brinjal
you and your silly smirk
you and your silly antics
you and your "imagine this" thing
you and your hugs
you who loves adidas
you who i always say i don't know what i love about, but in all honesty, i love everything about you.
you who is irreplaceable in my heart.
jeth, mark, jiahui and i just had supper. we seemed to have found ourself saturday activities of playing card games and mahjong. simple pleasures without spending money. enjoying the company of good friends.
jiahui showed me this website of the gorgeous resort in thailand. and the first thing i thought of was you. and how i would like to go there with you. why do i only do these things now? is it too little too late? if i plan for a trip to maldives or to this gorgeous resort in phuket, would you go with me?
walking them to the carpark, silence. they looked at me and asked if i was tired. but i wasn't tired. they commented that i am damn quiet.
i was quiet because i used to walk you to the carpark at all hours of the night. the road there suddenly seemed so different that you are not beside me, not teasing me about anything. i didn't get into your car and snuggle up to you. i didn't get to kiss and hug you goodbye like we used to.
but i didn't feel upset. i just miss you.
jiahui showed me this website of the gorgeous resort in thailand. and the first thing i thought of was you. and how i would like to go there with you. why do i only do these things now? is it too little too late? if i plan for a trip to maldives or to this gorgeous resort in phuket, would you go with me?
walking them to the carpark, silence. they looked at me and asked if i was tired. but i wasn't tired. they commented that i am damn quiet.
i was quiet because i used to walk you to the carpark at all hours of the night. the road there suddenly seemed so different that you are not beside me, not teasing me about anything. i didn't get into your car and snuggle up to you. i didn't get to kiss and hug you goodbye like we used to.
but i didn't feel upset. i just miss you.
Jul 29, 2006
Jul 28, 2006
so this is it.
i am not going to bring more sadness to people around me. i have brought enough to all my friends and my family. thanks to all of you who have been there for me, through my most horrible moments, and the lowest period of my life. thanks for listening to me, thanks for bearing with me. you guys rock my world.
and to you. i believe you still read this. thanks for all the wonderful memories we had. its something that i will always cherish. thanks for all your cute and wonderful presents. and thanks for loving me so much. all that is left now are the memories, and that is enough for me le.
i found you and then i lost you. i can't love anyone else anymore, because all my love is with you. goodbye my love. hello my friend.
longz. for the last time, i love you and i miss you so. the memories will content me. when i miss you, i just need to close my eyes and i see you all around me. i hug the mogu and the pooh bear and i can feel you. and that is enough already.
maybe the day will come when you will come back to me. maybe the day won't come. whatever it is, i'll be happy and i'll be patiently for you here. and remember our promise, next v-day we'll see if we're suitable again.
孙燕姿 - 隐形人
无论你肯或不肯
我都选择等
等到你结束好久
探险的旅程
要是没有寂寞陪衬
没有途中的灰尘
你怎会向往家门
你越是想要诚恳
其实越残忍
伪装不了你对我
漠视的眼神
你不许我听信永恒
不许我迷信我们
不许我奋不顾身
多想化成隐形的人
掩饰我伤痕
给你我的体温
好帮你驱走寒冷
看不见也能感受心疼
我想化成隐形的人
隐藏我的泪在翻滚
我在你凌乱世界
留下的指纹
对你是没心跳的一个吻
朋友都于心不忍
责备我愚蠢
但他们都回避我
执着的眼神
可知我对爱的虔诚
可知我迷信我们
可知我难得放任
多想化成隐形的人
掩饰我伤痕
给你我的体温
好帮你驱走寒冷
看不见也能感受心疼
我想化成隐形的人
隐藏我的泪在翻滚
我在你凌乱世界
留下的指纹
对你是没心跳的一个吻
光良 - 约定
说好的三年不见面
用我们的爱把时间留住
你笑着说这是我们的考验我们的约定
就这样三年又过了
我还是回到这个地方
闭上眼等你的出现
空气中吻你的脸
我还记得我们的约定
一辈子幸福的约定
为你写的那首歌
他也偷偷的掉泪了
我比以前还更爱你了
连那风都笑我了
我想他会告诉你的我更爱你了
我想他会告诉你的
你会记得我们的约定
听着风我也笑了
他一定会告诉你的我更爱你了
周杰伦 - 枫
乌云在我们心里刻下一块阴影
我聆听沉寂已久的心情
清晰透明就像美丽的风景
总在回忆里才看的清
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔已经被时间上锁
只剩挥散不去的难过
缓缓掉落的枫叶像思念
我点燃烛火温暖岁末的秋天
极光掠过天边
北风掠过想你的容颜
我把爱烧成了落叶
却换不回熟悉的那张脸
缓缓掉落的枫叶像思念
为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
爱你穿越时间
两行来自秋末的眼泪
让爱渗透了地面
我要的只是你在我身边
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔已经被时间上锁
只剩挥散不去的难过
在山腰间飘逸的红雨
随著北风凋零我轻轻摇曳风铃
想唤醒被遗弃的爱情
雪花已铺满了地
深怕窗外枫叶已结成冰
i am not going to bring more sadness to people around me. i have brought enough to all my friends and my family. thanks to all of you who have been there for me, through my most horrible moments, and the lowest period of my life. thanks for listening to me, thanks for bearing with me. you guys rock my world.
and to you. i believe you still read this. thanks for all the wonderful memories we had. its something that i will always cherish. thanks for all your cute and wonderful presents. and thanks for loving me so much. all that is left now are the memories, and that is enough for me le.
i found you and then i lost you. i can't love anyone else anymore, because all my love is with you. goodbye my love. hello my friend.
longz. for the last time, i love you and i miss you so. the memories will content me. when i miss you, i just need to close my eyes and i see you all around me. i hug the mogu and the pooh bear and i can feel you. and that is enough already.
maybe the day will come when you will come back to me. maybe the day won't come. whatever it is, i'll be happy and i'll be patiently for you here. and remember our promise, next v-day we'll see if we're suitable again.
孙燕姿 - 隐形人
无论你肯或不肯
我都选择等
等到你结束好久
探险的旅程
要是没有寂寞陪衬
没有途中的灰尘
你怎会向往家门
你越是想要诚恳
其实越残忍
伪装不了你对我
漠视的眼神
你不许我听信永恒
不许我迷信我们
不许我奋不顾身
多想化成隐形的人
掩饰我伤痕
给你我的体温
好帮你驱走寒冷
看不见也能感受心疼
我想化成隐形的人
隐藏我的泪在翻滚
我在你凌乱世界
留下的指纹
对你是没心跳的一个吻
朋友都于心不忍
责备我愚蠢
但他们都回避我
执着的眼神
可知我对爱的虔诚
可知我迷信我们
可知我难得放任
多想化成隐形的人
掩饰我伤痕
给你我的体温
好帮你驱走寒冷
看不见也能感受心疼
我想化成隐形的人
隐藏我的泪在翻滚
我在你凌乱世界
留下的指纹
对你是没心跳的一个吻
光良 - 约定
说好的三年不见面
用我们的爱把时间留住
你笑着说这是我们的考验我们的约定
就这样三年又过了
我还是回到这个地方
闭上眼等你的出现
空气中吻你的脸
我还记得我们的约定
一辈子幸福的约定
为你写的那首歌
他也偷偷的掉泪了
我比以前还更爱你了
连那风都笑我了
我想他会告诉你的我更爱你了
我想他会告诉你的
你会记得我们的约定
听着风我也笑了
他一定会告诉你的我更爱你了
周杰伦 - 枫
乌云在我们心里刻下一块阴影
我聆听沉寂已久的心情
清晰透明就像美丽的风景
总在回忆里才看的清
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔已经被时间上锁
只剩挥散不去的难过
缓缓掉落的枫叶像思念
我点燃烛火温暖岁末的秋天
极光掠过天边
北风掠过想你的容颜
我把爱烧成了落叶
却换不回熟悉的那张脸
缓缓掉落的枫叶像思念
为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
爱你穿越时间
两行来自秋末的眼泪
让爱渗透了地面
我要的只是你在我身边
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔已经被时间上锁
只剩挥散不去的难过
在山腰间飘逸的红雨
随著北风凋零我轻轻摇曳风铃
想唤醒被遗弃的爱情
雪花已铺满了地
深怕窗外枫叶已结成冰
i feel empty. i feel gone. my heart has bled till no more blood runs. its just a strange period of quietness and nothingness. perhaps a realisation of the facts. that i have already lost you?
why don't you just follow your heart. because i heard you calling out to me so loudly. i heard you telling me that you need me to take care of you. i know you love me deeply. but you also keep it so deep down.
2 and a half years. 864 days of love. it wasn't only a relationship, its building a life with you. and now my life has gone. if something like that can disappear, how do i have faith anymore. how can i believe that something i worked so bloody hard for will work out again. i have no wish to love again, other than you.
but move on i will. because i must. because i can't stay in this sorry state forever. i will be by your side, as a guardian angel, as your friend till that day.
why don't you just follow your heart. because i heard you calling out to me so loudly. i heard you telling me that you need me to take care of you. i know you love me deeply. but you also keep it so deep down.
2 and a half years. 864 days of love. it wasn't only a relationship, its building a life with you. and now my life has gone. if something like that can disappear, how do i have faith anymore. how can i believe that something i worked so bloody hard for will work out again. i have no wish to love again, other than you.
but move on i will. because i must. because i can't stay in this sorry state forever. i will be by your side, as a guardian angel, as your friend till that day.
Jul 27, 2006
the pain of losing your true love is too much to bear sometimes. i lost you.
and it just dawned upon me that today is 1 month since we've broken up. we've been taking a break for 3 weeks before the break up, and all in all, its about 7weeks without you by my side. its been torturous
i don't know why its extremely difficult for me this time. i can't do anything right. i am drifting with the tide of time. hoping that you'll come back.
if you are reading this, give me a call. lets go out and have fun and forget our troubles and let me show you that things can be like before.
because without losing, i wouldn't have learnt how to cherish. because sometimes, life's journey takes an unexpected split road, but if this bumpy road is the road to love, then i am willing to ride it out because i would see you at the end.
i would be strong for you. because i know you love me alot. i would be strong for you because i would be me again, a better person for you and for me. because of you, i don't do alot of things that would hurt myself. because of you, i experienced emotions i have never done before. because of you, i know we can make it through and scale to greater heights together
call me.
and it just dawned upon me that today is 1 month since we've broken up. we've been taking a break for 3 weeks before the break up, and all in all, its about 7weeks without you by my side. its been torturous
i don't know why its extremely difficult for me this time. i can't do anything right. i am drifting with the tide of time. hoping that you'll come back.
if you are reading this, give me a call. lets go out and have fun and forget our troubles and let me show you that things can be like before.
because without losing, i wouldn't have learnt how to cherish. because sometimes, life's journey takes an unexpected split road, but if this bumpy road is the road to love, then i am willing to ride it out because i would see you at the end.
i would be strong for you. because i know you love me alot. i would be strong for you because i would be me again, a better person for you and for me. because of you, i don't do alot of things that would hurt myself. because of you, i experienced emotions i have never done before. because of you, i know we can make it through and scale to greater heights together
call me.
because tomorrow may never come. who's to know what can happen later. a war could break out, an accident could happen, a fire could happen. there may never be tomorrow. why always keep things till tomorrow.
it happens to often, but we all don't cherish today.
i don't want to have any regrets. i may not be giving you space, but everyday i want to be close to you. every day i want to know that you are safe. so that everyday i can tell you i love you, and love to the max every single day, because there may not be tomorrow.
and if there's ever any uncertainty just hold my hands, and i would never let you go. you'll be safe here with me.
will you give me a chance? to make everything right.
it happens to often, but we all don't cherish today.
i don't want to have any regrets. i may not be giving you space, but everyday i want to be close to you. every day i want to know that you are safe. so that everyday i can tell you i love you, and love to the max every single day, because there may not be tomorrow.
and if there's ever any uncertainty just hold my hands, and i would never let you go. you'll be safe here with me.
will you give me a chance? to make everything right.
Jul 26, 2006
you promised you would never leave me, you promised to love me forever. you said once that "please respect me, you said you would never leave me, you said you would never leave me" and I didn't leave you. i never did and never you. you said you would never leave me too. if i told you the same thing, would you come back to me?
Bon Jovi - Always
This romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up
It's been raining since you left me
Now i'm drowning in the flood
You see i've always been a fighter
But without you i give up
Now i can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, i guess i'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me
And i will love you, baby - always
And i'll be there forever and a day - always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And i know when i die, you'll be on my mind
And i'll love you - always
Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What i'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, i'm just a man
When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish i was him 'cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time
Yeah, i will love you baby - always
And i'll be there forever and a day - always
If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price i won't pay
To say these words to you
Well, there ain't no luck
In these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines
And i will love you, baby - always
And i'll be there forever and a day - always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And i know when i die, you'll be on my mind
And i'll love you - always
张惠妹 - 记得
谁还记得
是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话
是我们以后的伤口
过了太久
没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到最后
我们都忘了
这条路走了多久
心中是清楚的
有一天有一天都会停的
让时间说真话
虽然我也害怕
在天黑了以后
我们都不知道会不会有遗憾
谁还记得
是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句
是我们以后的伤口
过了太久
没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到最后
我们都累了
却没办法往回走
两颗心都迷惑
怎么说怎么说都没有救
亲爱的为什么
也许你也不懂
两个相爱的人
等对方先说找分开的理由
谁还记得爱情开始变化的时候
我和你的眼中
看见了不同的天空
走的太远
终于走到分岔路的路口
是不是你和我
要有两个相反的梦
谁还记得
是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话
是我们以后的伤口
过了太久
没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到最后
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到最后
Bon Jovi - Always
This romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up
It's been raining since you left me
Now i'm drowning in the flood
You see i've always been a fighter
But without you i give up
Now i can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, i guess i'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me
And i will love you, baby - always
And i'll be there forever and a day - always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And i know when i die, you'll be on my mind
And i'll love you - always
Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What i'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, i'm just a man
When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish i was him 'cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time
Yeah, i will love you baby - always
And i'll be there forever and a day - always
If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price i won't pay
To say these words to you
Well, there ain't no luck
In these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines
And i will love you, baby - always
And i'll be there forever and a day - always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And i know when i die, you'll be on my mind
And i'll love you - always
张惠妹 - 记得
谁还记得
是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话
是我们以后的伤口
过了太久
没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到最后
我们都忘了
这条路走了多久
心中是清楚的
有一天有一天都会停的
让时间说真话
虽然我也害怕
在天黑了以后
我们都不知道会不会有遗憾
谁还记得
是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句
是我们以后的伤口
过了太久
没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到最后
我们都累了
却没办法往回走
两颗心都迷惑
怎么说怎么说都没有救
亲爱的为什么
也许你也不懂
两个相爱的人
等对方先说找分开的理由
谁还记得爱情开始变化的时候
我和你的眼中
看见了不同的天空
走的太远
终于走到分岔路的路口
是不是你和我
要有两个相反的梦
谁还记得
是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话
是我们以后的伤口
过了太久
没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到最后
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到最后
Jul 25, 2006
Jul 24, 2006
i wish i could count to 10 and make everything wonderful again. i wish all this was just a dream
Everclear - Wonderful
I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them
I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again
Hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry
Close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful someday
Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now
I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all okay
I laugh aloud so my friends won't know
When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home
Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful someday
Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now
No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
I don't wanna hear you say
That I will understand someday
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna hear you say
You both have grown in a different way
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna meet your friends
And I don't wanna start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...
I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful
Everclear - Wonderful
I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them
I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again
Hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry
Close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful someday
Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now
I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all okay
I laugh aloud so my friends won't know
When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home
Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful someday
Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now
No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
I don't wanna hear you say
That I will understand someday
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna hear you say
You both have grown in a different way
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna meet your friends
And I don't wanna start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...
I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful
you make moving on sound so easy. especially when i am the one giving you to someone ELSE. someone else who is not me. 2 and a half years of memories. of love, of life. i can never let you go. just because there are times when its not possible for me to stand on my 2 feet again.
i'm sorry i have to do this to myself. because i can't take the pain. its the only way i know to resolve the pain.
i'm sorry i have to do this to myself. because i can't take the pain. its the only way i know to resolve the pain.
Jul 23, 2006
mahjong session with airforce friend resulted in a net loss of $6. its hard to concentrate. but they tried their best to cheer me up. suddenly, the radio played this song. the song that i played on my ibook 2 and a half years ago when we were at conrad. after watching finding nemo, and you asked me, why i don't want to be your boyfriend.
suddenly the song means more than ever before
Breathe - Hands to Heaven
As I watch you move, across the moonlit room
There's so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve
God give me strength when I am leaving
Chorus:
So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday
Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness
As we move to embrace, tears run down your face
I whisper words of love, so softly
I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane
Without your touch, life will be lonely
Repeat Chorus
Morning has come,
I must pack my bags and say goodbye,
Goodbye
suddenly the song means more than ever before
Breathe - Hands to Heaven
As I watch you move, across the moonlit room
There's so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve
God give me strength when I am leaving
Chorus:
So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday
Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness
As we move to embrace, tears run down your face
I whisper words of love, so softly
I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane
Without your touch, life will be lonely
Repeat Chorus
Morning has come,
I must pack my bags and say goodbye,
Goodbye
Jul 22, 2006
i am such a loser.
i stopped doing it, because you told me if i did it again, you would do it twice to yourself, you told me it hurts you. i stopped doing it. i know you still care for me and love me a lot, but you are so far away.
i don't sleep well, i don't even enjoy eating. social events i try my best to enjoy and put on that all familiar mask of smiley face. but the mask doesn't seem to be thick enough. in no time, everyone know's i'm not ok.
i'm losing weight, i just lost another 2 kg. i cry and cry for no good reason, other than the fact that i miss you. i miss everything about you.
i need to hang on.
i stopped doing it, because you told me if i did it again, you would do it twice to yourself, you told me it hurts you. i stopped doing it. i know you still care for me and love me a lot, but you are so far away.
i don't sleep well, i don't even enjoy eating. social events i try my best to enjoy and put on that all familiar mask of smiley face. but the mask doesn't seem to be thick enough. in no time, everyone know's i'm not ok.
i'm losing weight, i just lost another 2 kg. i cry and cry for no good reason, other than the fact that i miss you. i miss everything about you.
i need to hang on.
its particularly hard, because i see you everywhere. even while waiting for an old friend, i end up tearing because we've been there before, to distribute flyers. your shadow is everywhere. even when i go out, i have to travel past your house, my 2nd home for 2 years plus.
but i soldier on. i know you don't read my blog anymore. so its ok, i end up writing a diary. gosh! can you believe it.
i stand strong and hold on the what little strength i can muster, just so that i would not be weak and irritate you. fate will bring us back together again. this is something i am very sure of. and i said, no matter where you are, who you are with, i will chase you back. next v-day i will definitely ask you out again, if we are not together by then, and i'll kneel before you and put the ring on your finger.
till then every night before i sleep, every morning when i wake you, its still you on my mind.
but i soldier on. i know you don't read my blog anymore. so its ok, i end up writing a diary. gosh! can you believe it.
i stand strong and hold on the what little strength i can muster, just so that i would not be weak and irritate you. fate will bring us back together again. this is something i am very sure of. and i said, no matter where you are, who you are with, i will chase you back. next v-day i will definitely ask you out again, if we are not together by then, and i'll kneel before you and put the ring on your finger.
till then every night before i sleep, every morning when i wake you, its still you on my mind.
its particularly hard, because i see you everywhere. even while waiting for an old friend, i end up tearing because we've been there before, to distribute flyers. your shadow is everywhere. even when i go out, i have to travel past your house, my 2nd home for 2 years plus.
but i soldier on. i know you don't read my blog anymore. so its ok, i end up writing a diary. gosh! can you believe it.
i stand strong and hold on the what little strength i can muster, just so that i would not be weak and irritate you. fate will bring us back together again. this is something i am very sure of. and i said, no matter where you are, who you are with, i will chase you back. next v-day i will definitely ask you out again, if we are not together by then, and i'll kneel before you and put the ring on your finger.
till then every night before i sleep, every morning when i wake you, its still you on my mind.
but i soldier on. i know you don't read my blog anymore. so its ok, i end up writing a diary. gosh! can you believe it.
i stand strong and hold on the what little strength i can muster, just so that i would not be weak and irritate you. fate will bring us back together again. this is something i am very sure of. and i said, no matter where you are, who you are with, i will chase you back. next v-day i will definitely ask you out again, if we are not together by then, and i'll kneel before you and put the ring on your finger.
till then every night before i sleep, every morning when i wake you, its still you on my mind.
Jul 21, 2006
i've got to learn how to be by myself. its hard but i will do it. i know that you truly love me, and i know that you need time before we can build up anything again, base on trust and faith and love. we have 2 out of 3. I'll be strong for you, because i know the day will come when i'll put on the ring for u.
Jul 19, 2006
Jul 16, 2006
i'm not moving on, i'm moving along. moving along only in the sense that time still passes by and i am still moving with the tide. deep inside i know you don't mean what you say. i know why you said what you did. i hope that i can get you back after the talk. i hope for so many things because i sincerely know that we can make it if we try again. because we love each other so much.
but in any case, should i not get you back now, maybe a clean break is indeed the way to go, so that someday we can have a clean start. because i am already yours. because i always knew that we will be together forever, living together till the day that we die. longz, i love you.
but in any case, should i not get you back now, maybe a clean break is indeed the way to go, so that someday we can have a clean start. because i am already yours. because i always knew that we will be together forever, living together till the day that we die. longz, i love you.
Jul 9, 2006
its not that i want you to look like the bad guy. i know if this r'ship fail, its all my fault. its all my fault. i'm sorry i didn't do enough. i am really feeling very bad. which is why i hate to talk to people. i don't want to be all imbalance all over again. it took me so much strength to balance myself and to leave you alone for 1 day, and i had to go and spoil it today just because i got thrown off balance again! again and again, by no doing on my own.
i need you. i can't let you leave me, i can't let you go.
everywhere i go, everything i do, is all done with you. memories lingers in every corner. from the days when u were selling cars, and i traversed the island with you distributing flyers, tampiness to boon lay, bukit panjang to ang mo kio. everywhere. every building i see you next to me. every action i do, before tucking myself in at night, i remember our first night together. i can't do it. 123 weeks, 864 days of relationship. i can't. i gave my all, i gave my life, my soul into it. i will never be fine again, not till the day you come back to me. i can't be fine.
do you know that i walked and ended up at your place? i waited for 3 hours plus just so that i hope i can see you. i know i irritate you, but i miss you so much. i miss you dear. i called and spoiled what could have been the 2nd day of me leaving you alone. so i decided that i should go back, just in case you see me and get more irritated with me. maybe i should have stuck on and waited. maybe i shouldn't have called. maybes. is there anything definite? that if i knew just what to do, things would be better.
i carry the voodoo doll everywhere now, in my bag, in my jeans pocket, because i believe it works. i sincerely do. i didn't give up, please don't give up on me.
dear, please come back
i need you. i can't let you leave me, i can't let you go.
everywhere i go, everything i do, is all done with you. memories lingers in every corner. from the days when u were selling cars, and i traversed the island with you distributing flyers, tampiness to boon lay, bukit panjang to ang mo kio. everywhere. every building i see you next to me. every action i do, before tucking myself in at night, i remember our first night together. i can't do it. 123 weeks, 864 days of relationship. i can't. i gave my all, i gave my life, my soul into it. i will never be fine again, not till the day you come back to me. i can't be fine.
do you know that i walked and ended up at your place? i waited for 3 hours plus just so that i hope i can see you. i know i irritate you, but i miss you so much. i miss you dear. i called and spoiled what could have been the 2nd day of me leaving you alone. so i decided that i should go back, just in case you see me and get more irritated with me. maybe i should have stuck on and waited. maybe i shouldn't have called. maybes. is there anything definite? that if i knew just what to do, things would be better.
i carry the voodoo doll everywhere now, in my bag, in my jeans pocket, because i believe it works. i sincerely do. i didn't give up, please don't give up on me.
dear, please come back
Jul 8, 2006
the grieving will stop, most definitely. we can't cry forever, and no one will listen to you cry. most just pretend to anyway, because deep inside they just need you for other reason, hence they pretend to be there for you, but after just 1 weep, they move the entire topic back to themself again.
but after all the grieving, what's left is the heartache and the memories. some things that can't be erased.
but after all the grieving, what's left is the heartache and the memories. some things that can't be erased.
There is that someone whom we connect to, whom despite everything will still stand like a pillar waiting. The pillar we all hang on to tightly, despite always talking about letting go, because we are the ones who can never let go. The someone who will do the most silly things for you, who will wait indefinitely for you. The someone whom you always accuse of not understanding you, but deep inside you know that he/she really does understand you so much better than you'd admit.
- a little something from a blog a while back...-
- a little something from a blog a while back...-
i didn't think i could, but i made it through a day without disturbing you. its tough but i am trying my best. because inaction is action, and the only way that what's left of something so precious to me, seems to be to leave you alone and to give you space. so dear, i am giving you plenty of space. but just know that, i am here for you if you ever need me.
and that if you feel lonely, remember all that i've told you. that there's always a silly boy here thinking of you. no matter which part of the world you are at.
day 2!
and that if you feel lonely, remember all that i've told you. that there's always a silly boy here thinking of you. no matter which part of the world you are at.
day 2!
Jul 7, 2006
i know it has all ended. but how can you be so selfish. i forgave you and all that you did. i swallowed all of it down. i want to salvage the whole r'ship, but all you can tell me is to leave you alone. that you needed time to be alone.
i tried my best to leave you alone, but how easy is it to say goodbye to a relationship of 2 and a half years. how can i stop caring for you just like that? how can i just not bother about your daily life, about your well-being, with just a snap of a finger.
i am not god. i am me, i am still a human. i stand before the one i love asking for a chance, but it's still nought.
i can see why people can lose faith and be jaded and be cynical. i can even understand how some people can be driven to suicide. its not difficult be pushed over the edge.
but perservere i must. perservere i will.
i will try to be strong, and leave you alone.
i will get you back one day.
i tried my best to leave you alone, but how easy is it to say goodbye to a relationship of 2 and a half years. how can i stop caring for you just like that? how can i just not bother about your daily life, about your well-being, with just a snap of a finger.
i am not god. i am me, i am still a human. i stand before the one i love asking for a chance, but it's still nought.
i can see why people can lose faith and be jaded and be cynical. i can even understand how some people can be driven to suicide. its not difficult be pushed over the edge.
but perservere i must. perservere i will.
i will try to be strong, and leave you alone.
i will get you back one day.
Jul 1, 2006
Eva Cassidy - Time After Time
Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
And think of you
Turning in circles confusion
Is nothing new
Flashback to warm nights
Almost left behind
Suitcase of memories,
Time after...
Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear
What you have said
And you say go slow
I've fallen behind
The second hand unwinds
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
Time after time
After your picture fades and darkness has
Turned to grey
Watching through windows I’m wondering
If you’re OK
And you say go slow
I've fallen behind
The drum beats out of time
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
Time after time
Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
And think of you
Turning in circles confusion
Is nothing new
Flashback to warm nights
Almost left behind
Suitcase of memories,
Time after...
Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear
What you have said
And you say go slow
I've fallen behind
The second hand unwinds
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
Time after time
After your picture fades and darkness has
Turned to grey
Watching through windows I’m wondering
If you’re OK
And you say go slow
I've fallen behind
The drum beats out of time
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
Time after time
i can't do this. i tried very hard to be strong. but whats the use of being strong? i don't say what happened because i don't want to relive the pain everytime i tell someone. so i keep everything to myself. and i just relive the pain every moment in my head, every moment in my heart. and all you can tell me is to let it go. not even willing to fix anything.
finality. that's it.
gloom surrounds me, something that's painfully obvious. curtains drawn so that i can avoid the light for just that moment longer so maybe i am in a dream, a nightmare that i can wake up from. but the time comes when i have to draw my curtains, and realise everyday that its morning, i am not having a nightmare.
dear please don't go anywhere.
finality. that's it.
gloom surrounds me, something that's painfully obvious. curtains drawn so that i can avoid the light for just that moment longer so maybe i am in a dream, a nightmare that i can wake up from. but the time comes when i have to draw my curtains, and realise everyday that its morning, i am not having a nightmare.
dear please don't go anywhere.
i always chide people who want to commit suicide that they are ballness. its takes more courage to live on than to choose to escape by death.
i realised i have never been more wrong. choosing to die, is not easy. because there's so much we leave behind, so many people we hurt in the process and seriously, most of us are afraid to die. its so easy to just walk onto the road and throw yourself into oncoming traffic, and taking the leap of faith into emptiness, or even to just gently cut the wrist. its not easy. suicide is not the easy way out if you have ever attempted it.
i chose to live on, only because i don't have the courage to die. there's no purpose for everything i am doing now. my dreams, my goals, all my aim in life just died 3 days ago. everything i worked for, all the money i am saving up, for the eventual somewhere is all nought.
i feel like going away now. to somewhere where no one can reach me. far far away from this place of hurt.
i realised i have never been more wrong. choosing to die, is not easy. because there's so much we leave behind, so many people we hurt in the process and seriously, most of us are afraid to die. its so easy to just walk onto the road and throw yourself into oncoming traffic, and taking the leap of faith into emptiness, or even to just gently cut the wrist. its not easy. suicide is not the easy way out if you have ever attempted it.
i chose to live on, only because i don't have the courage to die. there's no purpose for everything i am doing now. my dreams, my goals, all my aim in life just died 3 days ago. everything i worked for, all the money i am saving up, for the eventual somewhere is all nought.
i feel like going away now. to somewhere where no one can reach me. far far away from this place of hurt.
Jun 30, 2006
numbing myself in everything i can think of. i've grieved, i've cried myself to sleep, i've done everything short of that something which i used to do, but not anymore. but it ain't easy. i wished you could have hurt me physically, i wished you could have abused me till i bruised all over, at the very least, the pain will go away. how do i make all this pain go away.
i am trying not to fallapart.
what is love? what exactly is love? borrowing from lovereally.blogspot.com
* far too often, we give up on relationships because of the increasing demands. as two people gradually get more emotionally involved with each other, their lives just begin to weave into each other's routines far more than often. little suprise why suddenly there are so many more things to be concerned about, which prior to the relationship, would never have been an issue at all. i guess those in a relationship would hardly have any problem identifying them at all. everyone wants to maintain their comfort zone in a way. and unless the couple works it these issues out together, the relationship, i say again, the relationship, is not gonna work. not that love is not gonna work. love endures! just whether its being nurtured or left stagnant. love really is more than a silly thing that occurs every now and then. bringing along with it some anguish and petty issues on the way. we're the ones who make things complicated, not love *
i won't give up. not here not now not like this.
i am trying not to fallapart.
what is love? what exactly is love? borrowing from lovereally.blogspot.com
* far too often, we give up on relationships because of the increasing demands. as two people gradually get more emotionally involved with each other, their lives just begin to weave into each other's routines far more than often. little suprise why suddenly there are so many more things to be concerned about, which prior to the relationship, would never have been an issue at all. i guess those in a relationship would hardly have any problem identifying them at all. everyone wants to maintain their comfort zone in a way. and unless the couple works it these issues out together, the relationship, i say again, the relationship, is not gonna work. not that love is not gonna work. love endures! just whether its being nurtured or left stagnant. love really is more than a silly thing that occurs every now and then. bringing along with it some anguish and petty issues on the way. we're the ones who make things complicated, not love *
i won't give up. not here not now not like this.
Jun 29, 2006
now i know why people blog alot when things are looking down.
because they have too much time that used to occupied with that someone. because they don't communicate with that someone anymore and there's the hope that he may be reading it. even if he isn't, at least the possibility is there.
why am i reduced to all this? am i not good enough?
张栋梁 - 寂寞边界
我们之间闯进了贼偷走相爱得一切
逼得我们伤痕累累
分手只流两行泪
你说决定错了无所谓就算后悔也不要我陪
爱的平淡爱的浓烈都让你憔悴
我怎么做你都拒绝*
我来到寂寞边界
爱已失窃心在淌着血
男人得无尽伤痛都锁进黑夜
面对背叛用了解还是谅解
寂寞边界伤心人还有谁
我们之间闯进了贼偷走相爱得一切
爱让我们伤痕累累
结局只流两行泪
我来到寂寞边界
爱已失窃心在淌着血
过去的无尽伤痛都锁进黑夜
面对爱情用时间收拾破碎
寂寞边界伤心人已学会安慰
because they have too much time that used to occupied with that someone. because they don't communicate with that someone anymore and there's the hope that he may be reading it. even if he isn't, at least the possibility is there.
why am i reduced to all this? am i not good enough?
张栋梁 - 寂寞边界
我们之间闯进了贼偷走相爱得一切
逼得我们伤痕累累
分手只流两行泪
你说决定错了无所谓就算后悔也不要我陪
爱的平淡爱的浓烈都让你憔悴
我怎么做你都拒绝*
我来到寂寞边界
爱已失窃心在淌着血
男人得无尽伤痛都锁进黑夜
面对背叛用了解还是谅解
寂寞边界伤心人还有谁
我们之间闯进了贼偷走相爱得一切
爱让我们伤痕累累
结局只流两行泪
我来到寂寞边界
爱已失窃心在淌着血
过去的无尽伤痛都锁进黑夜
面对爱情用时间收拾破碎
寂寞边界伤心人已学会安慰
its all over. its all over. i am not strong when it comes down to this. i am so weak.
i couldn't get up properly today. i lay in my bed and thoughts of everything came rushing in. i tried to get out, but i can't. i had to drag myself out of bed to work. my client came and we did the video all the way till midnight. he left. and you left.
tears started running again. how can i just let it go? how can i? after what happened. is it all my fault?
its so painful. its so painful.
i couldn't get up properly today. i lay in my bed and thoughts of everything came rushing in. i tried to get out, but i can't. i had to drag myself out of bed to work. my client came and we did the video all the way till midnight. he left. and you left.
tears started running again. how can i just let it go? how can i? after what happened. is it all my fault?
its so painful. its so painful.
Jun 28, 2006
Braid Paisley - Find Yourself
-as heard on Cars OST-
The things that would have been lost on you
are now clear as a bell
And you find yourself,
yeah thats when you find yourself
Well you go through life
so sure of where you're headed
And you wind up lost
and its the best thing that could have happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as well
because you find yourself,
yeah that's when you find yourself.
When you meet the one, that you've been waiting for
and she's everything, that you want and more
You look at her and you finally start to live for someone else
And then you find yourself,
yeah that's when you find yourself
Well you go through life
so sure of where we're headed
And you wind up lost
and its the best thing that could have happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as well
Because you find yourself,
Yeah thats when you find yourself
#####
when you found yourself, i'll be right here waiting
-as heard on Cars OST-
The things that would have been lost on you
are now clear as a bell
And you find yourself,
yeah thats when you find yourself
Well you go through life
so sure of where you're headed
And you wind up lost
and its the best thing that could have happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as well
because you find yourself,
yeah that's when you find yourself.
When you meet the one, that you've been waiting for
and she's everything, that you want and more
You look at her and you finally start to live for someone else
And then you find yourself,
yeah that's when you find yourself
Well you go through life
so sure of where we're headed
And you wind up lost
and its the best thing that could have happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as well
Because you find yourself,
Yeah thats when you find yourself
#####
when you found yourself, i'll be right here waiting
i don't know what to say. i don't know what to do. but i know what i must do.
its been 2 and a half years. it hasn't been smooth, there's been ups and there's been downs. but i cherish and appreciate every single moment.
there's so much anger i need to deal with myself. i can't be better now. i have to learn to manage my own anger and my own issues.
i miss you. what i said, i meant it. what i say i will do i mean it too. i hope someday i'll see you again.
its been 2 and a half years. it hasn't been smooth, there's been ups and there's been downs. but i cherish and appreciate every single moment.
there's so much anger i need to deal with myself. i can't be better now. i have to learn to manage my own anger and my own issues.
i miss you. what i said, i meant it. what i say i will do i mean it too. i hope someday i'll see you again.
Jun 25, 2006
Jun 21, 2006
in what appears to be a rather accurate calculation, and at the same time, rather amusing and hilarious, i present to you all the crush calculatorgo on and try it! do let me noe the results!, you know how to contact me =)
cheers
or type in the following if the link doesn't work
http://www.crushcalculator.com/content/love/345619667
cheers
or type in the following if the link doesn't work
http://www.crushcalculator.com/content/love/345619667
May 22, 2006
It's like newspapers in totalitarian countries one morning reporting that the government, with much pomp and ceremony, has declared the epidemic over, without ever having reported that there was an epidemic in the first place.
-> in reference to the straits time not publishing PM Lee words that he had to "fix" the opposition and "buy" voters support. FIX and BUY SUPPORT were his exact words. later ST published an apology from the PM office about the use of those words, without even reporting them in the first place.
#####
to read about how CNA could have potentially misreported 2 blogs by somehow miraculously losing headlines such as "IN SHADY COMPANY #1 - GIC" and "GO OUt TONIGHT AND RULE IN NUMBERS" in reference to election blog, and miraculously losing date markers on blog pages you can read all about the potentially shady business here
-> in reference to the straits time not publishing PM Lee words that he had to "fix" the opposition and "buy" voters support. FIX and BUY SUPPORT were his exact words. later ST published an apology from the PM office about the use of those words, without even reporting them in the first place.
#####
to read about how CNA could have potentially misreported 2 blogs by somehow miraculously losing headlines such as "IN SHADY COMPANY #1 - GIC" and "GO OUt TONIGHT AND RULE IN NUMBERS" in reference to election blog, and miraculously losing date markers on blog pages you can read all about the potentially shady business here
May 18, 2006
the macbook is out!!!!! www.apple.com.sg/macbook now in white and black and DUAL processors across the line. WOOOHOOO!
however, i must bitch about the most hilarious conversation i have with ling kai, when she did "the ling kai".
it went something like this
k: hey check out the new macbook!!! its OUT! www.apple.com/macbook
ling: oh that one, my friend it crashes like alll the time
k: (feeling confused): errr, it was just annoucend like 5 minutes ago, so unless your friend used if for the past 4 minutes and it crashed......
ling: oh is it. then it must be the other one.
HAHA ROTFL...
#####
in another story. diary of a singaporean mind posted a most astute observation of a singaporean.
Stupid Foreigner RUDE to ME!!!
These days working in Singapore involves travelling around the region. This time my assignment is Manila. Every time I get assignments to such 3rd world places, I will go to the toilet and curse at my boss - hope he gets heart attack and die, die, die! To leave the comfort of Singapore and go to a country so disorganised is a real torture.
When I was in Manila, I got bored at night so I decided to go to the lounge of hotel to enjoy some jazz - the only thing good about the Filipines are the bands - they seem to produce so many good ones. As I was enjoying the music, some American Filipino came to chat with me. This guy went to the US as a kid and was back to visit friends and look for business opportunities. We had quite an interesting conversation as we shared travelling experiences. It was interesting we until talked about politics. I told him how excitied I was to be able to vote for the first time in my life. I tried to explain our political system to him but I don't know why he keeps laughing:
Me: "See before the elections, the govt gives us money deposited right into our bank accounts..."
American : "No kidding....."...*laugh*.
Me: "My estate will be upgraded soon because I voted for the PAP. Estate upgrading gets priority for areas with the highest votes for the PAP".
American: "This is crazy...you must be kidding..." *laugh* *laugh* *laugh*
Me: "I'm actually looking forward to the fountain they will be building near my apartment...I think they are conducting a survey for the design..."
American: *laugh* *laugh* *laugh*.
Me: "Political podcast and blogging is banned during elections so that citizens are not confused by inaccurate information...we get all our information from state TV & newspaper".
American: "I thought you were from Singapore....not N. Korea..." *laugh* *laugh* *laugh*
At this point I could sense some sarcasm from this guy. Obviously, he is envious of our highly advanced and stable political system. I see no point in continuing the conversation, I promptly excuse myself.
however, i must bitch about the most hilarious conversation i have with ling kai, when she did "the ling kai".
it went something like this
k: hey check out the new macbook!!! its OUT! www.apple.com/macbook
ling: oh that one, my friend it crashes like alll the time
k: (feeling confused): errr, it was just annoucend like 5 minutes ago, so unless your friend used if for the past 4 minutes and it crashed......
ling: oh is it. then it must be the other one.
HAHA ROTFL...
#####
in another story. diary of a singaporean mind posted a most astute observation of a singaporean.
Stupid Foreigner RUDE to ME!!!
These days working in Singapore involves travelling around the region. This time my assignment is Manila. Every time I get assignments to such 3rd world places, I will go to the toilet and curse at my boss - hope he gets heart attack and die, die, die! To leave the comfort of Singapore and go to a country so disorganised is a real torture.
When I was in Manila, I got bored at night so I decided to go to the lounge of hotel to enjoy some jazz - the only thing good about the Filipines are the bands - they seem to produce so many good ones. As I was enjoying the music, some American Filipino came to chat with me. This guy went to the US as a kid and was back to visit friends and look for business opportunities. We had quite an interesting conversation as we shared travelling experiences. It was interesting we until talked about politics. I told him how excitied I was to be able to vote for the first time in my life. I tried to explain our political system to him but I don't know why he keeps laughing:
Me: "See before the elections, the govt gives us money deposited right into our bank accounts..."
American : "No kidding....."...*laugh*.
Me: "My estate will be upgraded soon because I voted for the PAP. Estate upgrading gets priority for areas with the highest votes for the PAP".
American: "This is crazy...you must be kidding..." *laugh* *laugh* *laugh*
Me: "I'm actually looking forward to the fountain they will be building near my apartment...I think they are conducting a survey for the design..."
American: *laugh* *laugh* *laugh*.
Me: "Political podcast and blogging is banned during elections so that citizens are not confused by inaccurate information...we get all our information from state TV & newspaper".
American: "I thought you were from Singapore....not N. Korea..." *laugh* *laugh* *laugh*
At this point I could sense some sarcasm from this guy. Obviously, he is envious of our highly advanced and stable political system. I see no point in continuing the conversation, I promptly excuse myself.
May 14, 2006
you know the elections is all over, but i thought i would just like to say a few closing words.
firstly, i am constantly amazed by how this election results is being compared to the 1997 elections results, conveniently going around the 2001 results. if we compared by 2001, then PAP support would have slid by quite a few percentages. but if we go by 1997 standard, then it was about the same. the reason was the 2001 was a year of anomaly, with terrorist attack and september 11. well interesting enough, 911 happened in november, and iraq war was mounted only in 2003. so i don't really remember a particularly tense situation of terrorist attack. but whatever.
in 1997, the year was a normal year. but was it? can we all not remember the economic crisis? so wouldn't a typical stupid singaporean vote the safest choice during an economic crisis since our government is indeed very good at providing jobs and monies? so i am not really sure of the reason why they choose to compare with 1997 results rather than 2001.
just a hunch. if 1997 results was very high and by comparision, 2006 results were sliding, they might have compared it with 1991, since 1997 was also a year of anomaly as it was the asian economic crisis as well.
2nd issue, is oh well. but WP.
Constit PAP WP
Joo Chiat 12,222 6,577
Nee Soon E 20,945 9,533
Nee Soon C 14,210 7,527
Hougang 8,306 13,987
Ang Mo Kio 96,591 49,468
East Coast 66,890 37,867
Aljunied 74,810 58,585
TOTAL 293,974 184,544
Percent 61.4 38.6
Strong mandate huh? last time 75% is A1, not 60% is A1. before elections, expected 80%, now 60% is shiok!
3rd issue is just posting on what was said.
the parliamentary elections act section 32:
Withdrawal of candidature
32. - (1) A candidate may before 12 noon on the day of nomination, but not afterwards, withdraw his candidature by giving, in person, a notice to that effect signed by him to the Returning Officer.
(2) The Returning Officer shall forthwith cause notice of the withdrawal to be posted in a conspicuous position outside the place of nomination.
it just leaves me bewildered just like yawning bread pointed out, how could george yeo and MM lee said the election would just go on. there's nothing in the constitution to prevent that. however something in the law does.
last issue. irony of speech.
MM Lee said "I've watched once a government goes bad, the system goes bad, you cannot put it right." That's quite right. once a bad government is in place, its really quite hard to change things, ain't it? they will put up system that will make challenge difficult. and all.
firstly, i am constantly amazed by how this election results is being compared to the 1997 elections results, conveniently going around the 2001 results. if we compared by 2001, then PAP support would have slid by quite a few percentages. but if we go by 1997 standard, then it was about the same. the reason was the 2001 was a year of anomaly, with terrorist attack and september 11. well interesting enough, 911 happened in november, and iraq war was mounted only in 2003. so i don't really remember a particularly tense situation of terrorist attack. but whatever.
in 1997, the year was a normal year. but was it? can we all not remember the economic crisis? so wouldn't a typical stupid singaporean vote the safest choice during an economic crisis since our government is indeed very good at providing jobs and monies? so i am not really sure of the reason why they choose to compare with 1997 results rather than 2001.
just a hunch. if 1997 results was very high and by comparision, 2006 results were sliding, they might have compared it with 1991, since 1997 was also a year of anomaly as it was the asian economic crisis as well.
2nd issue, is oh well. but WP.
Constit PAP WP
Joo Chiat 12,222 6,577
Nee Soon E 20,945 9,533
Nee Soon C 14,210 7,527
Hougang 8,306 13,987
Ang Mo Kio 96,591 49,468
East Coast 66,890 37,867
Aljunied 74,810 58,585
TOTAL 293,974 184,544
Percent 61.4 38.6
Strong mandate huh? last time 75% is A1, not 60% is A1. before elections, expected 80%, now 60% is shiok!
3rd issue is just posting on what was said.
the parliamentary elections act section 32:
Withdrawal of candidature
32. - (1) A candidate may before 12 noon on the day of nomination, but not afterwards, withdraw his candidature by giving, in person, a notice to that effect signed by him to the Returning Officer.
(2) The Returning Officer shall forthwith cause notice of the withdrawal to be posted in a conspicuous position outside the place of nomination.
it just leaves me bewildered just like yawning bread pointed out, how could george yeo and MM lee said the election would just go on. there's nothing in the constitution to prevent that. however something in the law does.
last issue. irony of speech.
MM Lee said "I've watched once a government goes bad, the system goes bad, you cannot put it right." That's quite right. once a bad government is in place, its really quite hard to change things, ain't it? they will put up system that will make challenge difficult. and all.
this amuses me to no end, and i am sure it will amuse ling too. the irony of the below sentence
"I think some folks take everything they read at face value. And 10 times as many people are likely to see a movie as read a book," said Mark Norman, pastor at Grace Community Church near Laurel, where congregants are holding a four-week series of pre-movie talks.
in reference to the Da Vinci Code. These are people who read the bible and belief everything they read. at face value.
duh.
"I think some folks take everything they read at face value. And 10 times as many people are likely to see a movie as read a book," said Mark Norman, pastor at Grace Community Church near Laurel, where congregants are holding a four-week series of pre-movie talks.
in reference to the Da Vinci Code. These are people who read the bible and belief everything they read. at face value.
duh.
May 6, 2006
in the midst of doing my work, (yes people pay me to do presentation slides!), i've decided to response to alexis and ling's posts about love.
#####
Love is a feeling to an arbitrary person. I am sure we have all encountered "I love this person the most!" that is until you've met the next person, which you then declare loudly that "I love you the most!" But of course it could be true, there could indeed be a person that we loved the most, but until you die, you can never ascertain that for sure.
Love is not tangible, it is not measurable. It is an inexplicable feeling, that at the end of the day, we can only judge by time. Time is equal. 24 hours a day. Not a single person has more, not a single has less. If one is willing to spend time with the person, rather obviously, they feel comfortable with you. The more time spent with the person, means less time for other activities and/or people.
If we spend more time with our family rather than our friends, we cherish our family more, if we spend more time with our partners, we cherish them more than anything.
Love is about sharing and sacrifice. Its about sharing a part of your life with the other person. What is your day like, what are your goals in life, the small talks. Its about communication and bridging two otherwise unrelated individuals. Its about sacrificing time, amongst other things. The action of giving.
However, love is also a need. A need to have someone, because no man is an island. Put it in another way, we all have to have someone around. To run home to at the end of the day, to talk about nothing at all, to have great sex with every day (ok every other day), to engage in activities together that cannot be done with friends. Because friends are not for these.
We can be cynical and leave it at that. But to pursue it deeper, we don't exactly 'love' everyone. We can't engage in the aforementioned activities with Tom Dick or Harry (of Ruth Beth and Nancy if you will; and swing the other way), which is why there are breakups. Not those in the spite of anger breakups but the, "hey, lets just let it go", "alright".
Because hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is.
There is that someone whom we connect to, whom despite everything will still stand like a pillar waiting. The pillar we all hang on to tightly, despite always talking about letting go, because we are the ones who can never let go. The someone who will do the most silly things for you, who will wait indefinitely for you. The someone whom you always accuse of not understanding you, but deep inside you know that he/she really does understand you so much better than you'd admit.
Love is such.
#####
Love is a feeling to an arbitrary person. I am sure we have all encountered "I love this person the most!" that is until you've met the next person, which you then declare loudly that "I love you the most!" But of course it could be true, there could indeed be a person that we loved the most, but until you die, you can never ascertain that for sure.
Love is not tangible, it is not measurable. It is an inexplicable feeling, that at the end of the day, we can only judge by time. Time is equal. 24 hours a day. Not a single person has more, not a single has less. If one is willing to spend time with the person, rather obviously, they feel comfortable with you. The more time spent with the person, means less time for other activities and/or people.
If we spend more time with our family rather than our friends, we cherish our family more, if we spend more time with our partners, we cherish them more than anything.
Love is about sharing and sacrifice. Its about sharing a part of your life with the other person. What is your day like, what are your goals in life, the small talks. Its about communication and bridging two otherwise unrelated individuals. Its about sacrificing time, amongst other things. The action of giving.
However, love is also a need. A need to have someone, because no man is an island. Put it in another way, we all have to have someone around. To run home to at the end of the day, to talk about nothing at all, to have great sex with every day (ok every other day), to engage in activities together that cannot be done with friends. Because friends are not for these.
We can be cynical and leave it at that. But to pursue it deeper, we don't exactly 'love' everyone. We can't engage in the aforementioned activities with Tom Dick or Harry (of Ruth Beth and Nancy if you will; and swing the other way), which is why there are breakups. Not those in the spite of anger breakups but the, "hey, lets just let it go", "alright".
Because hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is.
There is that someone whom we connect to, whom despite everything will still stand like a pillar waiting. The pillar we all hang on to tightly, despite always talking about letting go, because we are the ones who can never let go. The someone who will do the most silly things for you, who will wait indefinitely for you. The someone whom you always accuse of not understanding you, but deep inside you know that he/she really does understand you so much better than you'd admit.
Love is such.
PAP rally at segar road, May 5th 2006
WP rally at Serangoon Stadium, May 5th 2006
*image sourced from sgrally.blogspot.com
WP rally at Serangoon Stadium, May 5th 2006
*image sourced from sgrally.blogspot.com
May 5, 2006
As an ardent fan of the Straits Times, i was disappointed that my letter to them asking Mr Singh to clarify why he took 6 days to come forward, and why he thought Gomez was serious although he was laughing, did not get published. Sigh.
On another note, CNA! i was there not too long ago, and look at the news there
##Right now we have Low Thia Khiang, Chiam See Tong, Steve Chia. We can deal with them. Suppose you had 10, 15, 20 opposition members in Parliament. Instead of spending my time thinking what is the right policy for Singapore, I'm going to spend all my time thinking what's the right way to fix them, to buy my supporters votes, how can I solve this week's problem and forget about next year's challenges?" -PM Lee, 3 May 2006##
Finally, it seems that Apple is going to have another major announcement this few weeks. The long anticipated replacement to the iBook, dubbed the MacBook looks slated for a release, alongside the opening of the New York flagship 20'000 square foot Apple Store.
Last note, I am so hooked on playing The Wicked. I've completed the junior level, now i am stuck at level 42 of the wicked. yes my IQ is above 130. *sniggers*
On another note, CNA! i was there not too long ago, and look at the news there
##Right now we have Low Thia Khiang, Chiam See Tong, Steve Chia. We can deal with them. Suppose you had 10, 15, 20 opposition members in Parliament. Instead of spending my time thinking what is the right policy for Singapore, I'm going to spend all my time thinking what's the right way to fix them, to buy my supporters votes, how can I solve this week's problem and forget about next year's challenges?" -PM Lee, 3 May 2006##
Finally, it seems that Apple is going to have another major announcement this few weeks. The long anticipated replacement to the iBook, dubbed the MacBook looks slated for a release, alongside the opening of the New York flagship 20'000 square foot Apple Store.
Last note, I am so hooked on playing The Wicked. I've completed the junior level, now i am stuck at level 42 of the wicked. yes my IQ is above 130. *sniggers*
May 4, 2006
May 3, 2006
yes sir no sir 3 bags full. how high do you want me to jump sir?
today i went swimming. yes sir no sir 3 bags full.
we will have a country with that tolerates everybody. yes sir no sir 3 bags full. yes sir, everybody does not include gays does not include single mother, does not include people who speak up, does not include people who have differing opinions, does not include other people who do not who suscribe to other opinion other than yours sir.
yes sir no sir 3 bags full
yes sir, we wil achieve our aim of having a society that tolerates everybody except those above mentioned sir.
how high do you want me to jump sir?
today i went swimming. yes sir no sir 3 bags full.
we will have a country with that tolerates everybody. yes sir no sir 3 bags full. yes sir, everybody does not include gays does not include single mother, does not include people who speak up, does not include people who have differing opinions, does not include other people who do not who suscribe to other opinion other than yours sir.
yes sir no sir 3 bags full
yes sir, we wil achieve our aim of having a society that tolerates everybody except those above mentioned sir.
how high do you want me to jump sir?
in another letter to the straits times. the previous ones didn't get published
#####
I refer to the Gomez Affair (May 3). Mr Inderjit Singh came forward and clarified the situation, and informed the readers about the conversation he had with Mr Gomez. As he said "Gomez laughed...I got the impression has was serious" This could have serious implication.
Perhaps Mr Singh could also add more weight to his stand by explaining to the readers why the press conference was held on May 2, when the conversation took place on April 27. The saga went on for 6 days before he came forward; this confuses the readers about the reason for the delay.
Another clarification Mr Singh could enlightened the readers is that, although Mr Gomez was laughing, how could he ascertained that it was not a joke?
Similary speaking, on Channel 8 night news on May 2, a female PAP candidate replied "sure, sure, sure" during a walk around the Yishun estate when being asked about covered walkway by an elderly male resident. If assuming that the covered walkway is not build, can the elderly man then come forward and said that he thought she was serious when she said "sure, sure, sure"
Upon clarification, Mr Singh will no doubt give the readers a lot more confidence.
#####
I refer to the Gomez Affair (May 3). Mr Inderjit Singh came forward and clarified the situation, and informed the readers about the conversation he had with Mr Gomez. As he said "Gomez laughed...I got the impression has was serious" This could have serious implication.
Perhaps Mr Singh could also add more weight to his stand by explaining to the readers why the press conference was held on May 2, when the conversation took place on April 27. The saga went on for 6 days before he came forward; this confuses the readers about the reason for the delay.
Another clarification Mr Singh could enlightened the readers is that, although Mr Gomez was laughing, how could he ascertained that it was not a joke?
Similary speaking, on Channel 8 night news on May 2, a female PAP candidate replied "sure, sure, sure" during a walk around the Yishun estate when being asked about covered walkway by an elderly male resident. If assuming that the covered walkway is not build, can the elderly man then come forward and said that he thought she was serious when she said "sure, sure, sure"
Upon clarification, Mr Singh will no doubt give the readers a lot more confidence.
in between all the elections, its time for some good news. According to a reutuers news, creative is heading another quarter of LOSS
Reporter Jennifer Tan quoted CIMB-GK Securities analyst Jonathan Ng as saying: "We expect the business environment for Creative to remain tough at least for the next two quarters. Demand is only expected to pick up for the year-end Christmas sales. We remain negative on its prospects given the harsh competition in the market and a lack of new winning products in the foreseeable future."
A Reuters poll of analysts shows that Creative is expected to post a loss of around $43.4 million for the current fiscal year, which concludes June 30. A year ago, the company posted a $1.1 million profit, and in the December quarter it was $1.3 million in the black. However, the March quarter was plagued by restructuring charges well as lower flash memory prices that caused customers to delay purchases.
sourced from ipodobserver.
######
creative SUCKERS can now SUCK APPLE's ASS
Reporter Jennifer Tan quoted CIMB-GK Securities analyst Jonathan Ng as saying: "We expect the business environment for Creative to remain tough at least for the next two quarters. Demand is only expected to pick up for the year-end Christmas sales. We remain negative on its prospects given the harsh competition in the market and a lack of new winning products in the foreseeable future."
A Reuters poll of analysts shows that Creative is expected to post a loss of around $43.4 million for the current fiscal year, which concludes June 30. A year ago, the company posted a $1.1 million profit, and in the December quarter it was $1.3 million in the black. However, the March quarter was plagued by restructuring charges well as lower flash memory prices that caused customers to delay purchases.
sourced from ipodobserver.
######
creative SUCKERS can now SUCK APPLE's ASS
May 2, 2006
2nd part of content analysis, starting 2237, channel 8, may 2
1st news: PAP said that he has upgraded lifts in their ward, and will continue to do things to help poorer family tide through the short term. will give poor family chance to continue with their studies (positive for PAP) - 30 seconds
2nd news: SM Goh discusses about Gomez at a rally. discusses about high qualification but what about calibre? (negative for oppositions)
3rd news: SDA questions why PAP does not talk about big issues but focuses only on GOMEZ, but then accuses opposition of not focusing on big issues. but dealing with issues. (last time i heard the rally, the minor points opposition talked about were unemployment, healthcare, education, rising cost of living) (negative for PAP)
4th news: SDP discusses about the deliberate attempt to make a mountain out of a gomez molehill (negative for PAP) - 20 seconds
5th news: reporter summarizes about WP issues (factual) - 10seconds
6th news: SM Goh said Chiam has not brought up any new issues. Accuses that Chiam does not have enough funds. (read my previous post about the lifts, during sept 21, 2004, chiam proposed with enough funds, using 2million funds. different calculations it seems) (negative for SDA) - 30seconds
7th news: reporter reports about PAP at Jalan Besar. Talks about Gomez AGAIN. Questions calibre about WP and opposition. #wait till you read www.escapefromparadise.com#
8th news: WP wants an ans from Khaw about medical cost and assessment for C ward criteria (negative for PAP) - 20seconds
9th news: Lim refutes allegations about unions being tangled up with political parties. unvariably aligned with the government. union will over power policy. (positive for PAP) - 1 minute
10th news: Yishun wants PAP to build covered walkway. reply was "sure sure sure. sure sure sure" (positive for PAP) 1 minute
11th news: PAP will hold afternoon rally. 1st in 9 years. (factual)
12th news: discussion about afternoon rally. (factual)
13th news: overseas singaporeans concerned about elections. (neutral)
1st news: PAP said that he has upgraded lifts in their ward, and will continue to do things to help poorer family tide through the short term. will give poor family chance to continue with their studies (positive for PAP) - 30 seconds
2nd news: SM Goh discusses about Gomez at a rally. discusses about high qualification but what about calibre? (negative for oppositions)
3rd news: SDA questions why PAP does not talk about big issues but focuses only on GOMEZ, but then accuses opposition of not focusing on big issues. but dealing with issues. (last time i heard the rally, the minor points opposition talked about were unemployment, healthcare, education, rising cost of living) (negative for PAP)
4th news: SDP discusses about the deliberate attempt to make a mountain out of a gomez molehill (negative for PAP) - 20 seconds
5th news: reporter summarizes about WP issues (factual) - 10seconds
6th news: SM Goh said Chiam has not brought up any new issues. Accuses that Chiam does not have enough funds. (read my previous post about the lifts, during sept 21, 2004, chiam proposed with enough funds, using 2million funds. different calculations it seems) (negative for SDA) - 30seconds
7th news: reporter reports about PAP at Jalan Besar. Talks about Gomez AGAIN. Questions calibre about WP and opposition. #wait till you read www.escapefromparadise.com#
8th news: WP wants an ans from Khaw about medical cost and assessment for C ward criteria (negative for PAP) - 20seconds
9th news: Lim refutes allegations about unions being tangled up with political parties. unvariably aligned with the government. union will over power policy. (positive for PAP) - 1 minute
10th news: Yishun wants PAP to build covered walkway. reply was "sure sure sure. sure sure sure" (positive for PAP) 1 minute
11th news: PAP will hold afternoon rally. 1st in 9 years. (factual)
12th news: discussion about afternoon rally. (factual)
13th news: overseas singaporeans concerned about elections. (neutral)
on channel 8 news, may 2nd 10pm
1st news: gomez on cctv, with PAP candidate and supporter claiming that he heard gomez seriously joking that it was all an act. he could not confirm though (negative)
2nd news: lee ask low to sack gomez, claimed gomez did it on purpose. said it shows something wrong with their character. (negative) - wait till you guys read www.escapefromparadise.com (6 minutes for the 1st 2 news)
3rd news: gomez said that discreditation news will be on everyday (neutral) - 10seconds
4th news: low said gomez mistake was purely unintentional. clarified that gomez was never going into amk. added that gomez apology is final. said that there were bigger issues. (factual) - 1minute
5th news: SM goh defended the FTA, claimed that while WP candidates have paper qualification, they may not have the calibre (neutral) - 20 seconds
6th news: DPM wong accuses gomez did on purpose, trying to undermine the electoral department. low cannot just brush it aside(negative) - 1minute
7th news: Yeo said that gomez in undermining the integrity of the system. Lim said WP should have more transparency in their working. - oh my, do they really wanna go that far to demand??. Yeo found it very strange that sylvia lim kept silent. accuses that is is "troubling silence" (negative) - 2 minutes
8th news: CCK SMC PAP candidate claimed he will have more upgrading (interim?) and quickly resolves problems. help the elderly (positive for PAP). 30seconds
9th news: CCK SMC SDA. #bad lighting in footage# wants to have policy to help children take care of eldery. (positive for SDA) 20seconds
10th news: Yacob said raising money takes too much time. said that the most important way to help the poor is to improve the economy. promises upgrading (positive for PAP)
11th news: Khaw - PAP said the most important way to campaign is to go door to door visit. said SDP does not knock on their doors, accuses SDP for having internal strife, and that it is dangerous for singapore to have a govt like SDP (positive for PAP, negative for SDP) - 1 minute
12th news: newbies VS old guards. WP newbies does not feel disadvantaged. SDA refutes the accusation of high qualification, low calibre allegation (neutral) - 1 minute
13th news: SDA is asking for minimum wage system (positive for SDA) - 20seconds
14th news: WP talks about the fact that singaporeans have CPF but very little to spend during retirement (factual, positive for WP)
15th news: #good lighting% PAP accuses that progress package can be kissed away without good economic progress. unlike proposed by SDA. said chiam is still working while he is an MP. (negative for SDA)
#1st break#
16th news: PAP said its good that our union is tied down to the government, so we can fight for higher wages. regarding the labour day speech #covered during yesterday news as well# (positive for PAP)
17th news: survey shows GOOD economic prospect in Singapore (positive for singapore government)
1st news: gomez on cctv, with PAP candidate and supporter claiming that he heard gomez seriously joking that it was all an act. he could not confirm though (negative)
2nd news: lee ask low to sack gomez, claimed gomez did it on purpose. said it shows something wrong with their character. (negative) - wait till you guys read www.escapefromparadise.com (6 minutes for the 1st 2 news)
3rd news: gomez said that discreditation news will be on everyday (neutral) - 10seconds
4th news: low said gomez mistake was purely unintentional. clarified that gomez was never going into amk. added that gomez apology is final. said that there were bigger issues. (factual) - 1minute
5th news: SM goh defended the FTA, claimed that while WP candidates have paper qualification, they may not have the calibre (neutral) - 20 seconds
6th news: DPM wong accuses gomez did on purpose, trying to undermine the electoral department. low cannot just brush it aside(negative) - 1minute
7th news: Yeo said that gomez in undermining the integrity of the system. Lim said WP should have more transparency in their working. - oh my, do they really wanna go that far to demand??. Yeo found it very strange that sylvia lim kept silent. accuses that is is "troubling silence" (negative) - 2 minutes
8th news: CCK SMC PAP candidate claimed he will have more upgrading (interim?) and quickly resolves problems. help the elderly (positive for PAP). 30seconds
9th news: CCK SMC SDA. #bad lighting in footage# wants to have policy to help children take care of eldery. (positive for SDA) 20seconds
10th news: Yacob said raising money takes too much time. said that the most important way to help the poor is to improve the economy. promises upgrading (positive for PAP)
11th news: Khaw - PAP said the most important way to campaign is to go door to door visit. said SDP does not knock on their doors, accuses SDP for having internal strife, and that it is dangerous for singapore to have a govt like SDP (positive for PAP, negative for SDP) - 1 minute
12th news: newbies VS old guards. WP newbies does not feel disadvantaged. SDA refutes the accusation of high qualification, low calibre allegation (neutral) - 1 minute
13th news: SDA is asking for minimum wage system (positive for SDA) - 20seconds
14th news: WP talks about the fact that singaporeans have CPF but very little to spend during retirement (factual, positive for WP)
15th news: #good lighting% PAP accuses that progress package can be kissed away without good economic progress. unlike proposed by SDA. said chiam is still working while he is an MP. (negative for SDA)
#1st break#
16th news: PAP said its good that our union is tied down to the government, so we can fight for higher wages. regarding the labour day speech #covered during yesterday news as well# (positive for PAP)
17th news: survey shows GOOD economic prospect in Singapore (positive for singapore government)
pictures u don't get to see because mediacorp and ST's camera were not working in their best conditioned.
*images were scoured from the web
PAP May 01 Hougang Rally
Workers Party Apr 30 Hougang Rally
Workers Party May 01 Joo Chiat, it was raining
Workers Party Kampong Glam.
this were all i could scour online, other parties crowd attendance could not be found at time of publishing.
alternatively, you could go to www.sgrally.com to see.
*images were scoured from the web
PAP May 01 Hougang Rally
Workers Party Apr 30 Hougang Rally
Workers Party May 01 Joo Chiat, it was raining
Workers Party Kampong Glam.
this were all i could scour online, other parties crowd attendance could not be found at time of publishing.
alternatively, you could go to www.sgrally.com to see.
just like lucky tan, i like to read wikipedia too!
From Wikipedia
Character assassination is an intentional attempt to influence the portrayal or reputation of a particular person, whether living or a historical personage, in such a way as to cause others to develop an extremely negative, unethical or unappealing perception of him or her. By its nature, it involves deliberate exaggeration or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person. For living individuals, this can cause the target to be rejected by his or her community, family, or members of his or her living or work environment. Such acts are typically very difficult to reverse or rectify, therefore the process is correctly likened to a literal assassination of a human life. The damage sustained can be life-long, or for historical personages, last for many centuries after their death.
In practice, character assassination usually consists of the spreading of rumors and deliberate misinformation on topics relating to one's morals, integrity, and reputation.
In politics, perhaps the most common form of character assassination is the spread of allegations that a candidate is a liar. Other common themes may include allegations that the candidate is a bad or unpopular member of his family, has a bad relationship with his spouse or children, is disrespected by his former co-workers, or routinely engages in disturbing, socially unacceptable behavior, such as sexual deviancy.
to quote lucky tan
"Wikipedia is so interesting isn't it?
Just to add, I would like to say that Singaporeans are so lucky to be living in a 1st World country where politicians conduct themselves in a gentlemanly manner and focus on the issues that matters most to Singaporeans. They don't engage in dirty politics such as character assasination which only takes place in 3rd world countries."
From Wikipedia
Character assassination is an intentional attempt to influence the portrayal or reputation of a particular person, whether living or a historical personage, in such a way as to cause others to develop an extremely negative, unethical or unappealing perception of him or her. By its nature, it involves deliberate exaggeration or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person. For living individuals, this can cause the target to be rejected by his or her community, family, or members of his or her living or work environment. Such acts are typically very difficult to reverse or rectify, therefore the process is correctly likened to a literal assassination of a human life. The damage sustained can be life-long, or for historical personages, last for many centuries after their death.
In practice, character assassination usually consists of the spreading of rumors and deliberate misinformation on topics relating to one's morals, integrity, and reputation.
In politics, perhaps the most common form of character assassination is the spread of allegations that a candidate is a liar. Other common themes may include allegations that the candidate is a bad or unpopular member of his family, has a bad relationship with his spouse or children, is disrespected by his former co-workers, or routinely engages in disturbing, socially unacceptable behavior, such as sexual deviancy.
to quote lucky tan
"Wikipedia is so interesting isn't it?
Just to add, I would like to say that Singaporeans are so lucky to be living in a 1st World country where politicians conduct themselves in a gentlemanly manner and focus on the issues that matters most to Singaporeans. They don't engage in dirty politics such as character assasination which only takes place in 3rd world countries."
May 1, 2006
that day i went to the foodcourt, i saw so many cleaners, most were above 50 years old. at my coffeeshop at block 651, all the cleaners were very old. at holland village thereabouts, there's this coffeeshop and the cleaners were very old too. but they must be very happy to be cleaning at such an old age. they must be in the pink of health. unlike other old people in other countries who take vacation when they are old and have saved enough money to do volunteer work and travel the world. such old people must not be happy at all, they can't contribute by working at 60 years old.
i want to be just like these old people, so happy to be cleaning tables and toilets and selling tissues at 80! i remember this show the last time, where this cleaner had to work because if she don't work, she would have no money and our efficient country cannot give money to her although she has failing kidneys and a retarded mother. but i am quite sure that most of our cleaner elderly are not in similar condition whereby if they don't work, they will have no money. i am sure that they are working because the love to clean toilets! and love to contribute to the society.
by the way, our prime minister lee just spoke at the NTUC 45th anniversary. he said he saw 2 aunties about 83 years old, one was frying fried oyster egg (oh-lua) and the other, noodles.
i want to be just like these old people, so happy to be cleaning tables and toilets and selling tissues at 80! i remember this show the last time, where this cleaner had to work because if she don't work, she would have no money and our efficient country cannot give money to her although she has failing kidneys and a retarded mother. but i am quite sure that most of our cleaner elderly are not in similar condition whereby if they don't work, they will have no money. i am sure that they are working because the love to clean toilets! and love to contribute to the society.
by the way, our prime minister lee just spoke at the NTUC 45th anniversary. he said he saw 2 aunties about 83 years old, one was frying fried oyster egg (oh-lua) and the other, noodles.
Apr 29, 2006
i feel like a caged bird. you didn't believe me right, see i told you so. i have to avoid all areas. so fair right.
you can go everywhere you want to go, but i can't. i can't even EAT. its so fucking misogynistic. its not even that i want to go or anything. i didn't even want to go clubbing, its just that my friend wants to eat. EAT FOOD.
i can't. i can't. i can't. but said person can go clubbing, can go out with random internet personnels. but i can't. so fucking misogynistic
FUCKED UP!
you can go everywhere you want to go, but i can't. i can't even EAT. its so fucking misogynistic. its not even that i want to go or anything. i didn't even want to go clubbing, its just that my friend wants to eat. EAT FOOD.
i can't. i can't. i can't. but said person can go clubbing, can go out with random internet personnels. but i can't. so fucking misogynistic
FUCKED UP!
Apr 24, 2006
i have too much ghee lurking in my tummy. i need to swim more and more sit-ups. target, 100 crunches and 100 push-ups per alternate night for the 1st week of my hols.
on another note, i wrote to the forum again, not sure if it will get published, but yeah
#####
I refer to the recent slew of election news coverage. It has been cited by many ministers that it is only right that upgrading be given to supporters of PAP first, and that the opposition wards should be the last in line.
The rationale given, according to my understanding, is that lift upgrading is presented in the manifesto, proposed by the PAP ministers and hence they should look after the residents in the PAP ward first.
While there is nothing inherently wrong with this rationale, it leaves the impression that some Singaporeans are more equal than others.
Section 12 of the Constitution guarantees the equality of all Singaporeans.
As lawful Singaporeans that pay all their taxes, it would difficult to comprehend the rationale of being last in line, rather than random lot drawing to decide which estate should be entitled to upgrading
In the parliament sitting in September 21, 2004, Mr Cedric Foo said that all town councils are free to carry out their lift upgrading, however they cannot finance solely or substantially from the town council fund. Mr Chiam replied that he had enough funds, just over $2million and not $12million as proposed by Mr Foo. HDB granted the request but did not allow the lifts to stop at every floor.
This incident and various news in recent times over funding and priority would no doubt leave many residents in the opposition ward feeling less than an equal Singaporean just because they are in the opposition ward.
If this is the trend, are we to expect other situations residents in the opposition wards are not privy to?
As the government of our country, party politics should not be tangled up with national politics. After all Singapore is a unique country, that focuses on Asian values; just because other countries like England, Australia and America governments look after their supporter first, does not mean we have follow their western paradigm.
In the run up to elections, focusing on the party cause is to be expected, however after the assumption of seats in Parliament, the country should be run as an entire nation without splitting into opposition or supporters.
Over the decades, Singaporeans have placed their trust and confidence in a government priding itself on its governance and impartiality. It would be unthinkable that such impartiality were to be compromised in view of party aspirations
on another note, i wrote to the forum again, not sure if it will get published, but yeah
#####
I refer to the recent slew of election news coverage. It has been cited by many ministers that it is only right that upgrading be given to supporters of PAP first, and that the opposition wards should be the last in line.
The rationale given, according to my understanding, is that lift upgrading is presented in the manifesto, proposed by the PAP ministers and hence they should look after the residents in the PAP ward first.
While there is nothing inherently wrong with this rationale, it leaves the impression that some Singaporeans are more equal than others.
Section 12 of the Constitution guarantees the equality of all Singaporeans.
As lawful Singaporeans that pay all their taxes, it would difficult to comprehend the rationale of being last in line, rather than random lot drawing to decide which estate should be entitled to upgrading
In the parliament sitting in September 21, 2004, Mr Cedric Foo said that all town councils are free to carry out their lift upgrading, however they cannot finance solely or substantially from the town council fund. Mr Chiam replied that he had enough funds, just over $2million and not $12million as proposed by Mr Foo. HDB granted the request but did not allow the lifts to stop at every floor.
This incident and various news in recent times over funding and priority would no doubt leave many residents in the opposition ward feeling less than an equal Singaporean just because they are in the opposition ward.
If this is the trend, are we to expect other situations residents in the opposition wards are not privy to?
As the government of our country, party politics should not be tangled up with national politics. After all Singapore is a unique country, that focuses on Asian values; just because other countries like England, Australia and America governments look after their supporter first, does not mean we have follow their western paradigm.
In the run up to elections, focusing on the party cause is to be expected, however after the assumption of seats in Parliament, the country should be run as an entire nation without splitting into opposition or supporters.
Over the decades, Singaporeans have placed their trust and confidence in a government priding itself on its governance and impartiality. It would be unthinkable that such impartiality were to be compromised in view of party aspirations
Apr 20, 2006
this looked like fun so i did it.
Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.
How does the world see me?
Timmy Thomas - Dying Inside to Hold You (Charming)
Will I have a happy life?
MEST - Without You (this can't be true...)
What do my friends really think of me?
The Wallflowers - Three Marlenas
Do people secretly lust after me?
Dave Matthews Band - Crash Into Me (right... i seee)
How can I make myself happy?
Third Eye Blind - Jumper (so encouraging huh)
What should I do with my life?
Death Cab of Cutie - The Sound of Settling (do i see a trend here?)
Will I ever have children?
Gwen Stefanie - Cool (so what is that suppose to mean?)
What is some good advice for me?
Billie Myers - Kiss The Rain
How will I be remembered?
Broken Social Scene - Fire Eye'd Boy
What is my signature dancing song?
Sugar Ray - Mr Bartender (not really...)
What do I think my current theme song is?
Frou Frou - Psychobabble
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Cher - It's in Hiss Kiss
What song will play at my funeral?
JJ Lim - Shakespeare's Talent
What type of men/women do I like?
Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc
Emil Chou and Qi Yu - Tian Xia You Qing Ren
What is my day going to be like?
Simply Red - Sunrise
Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.
How does the world see me?
Timmy Thomas - Dying Inside to Hold You (Charming)
Will I have a happy life?
MEST - Without You (this can't be true...)
What do my friends really think of me?
The Wallflowers - Three Marlenas
Do people secretly lust after me?
Dave Matthews Band - Crash Into Me (right... i seee)
How can I make myself happy?
Third Eye Blind - Jumper (so encouraging huh)
What should I do with my life?
Death Cab of Cutie - The Sound of Settling (do i see a trend here?)
Will I ever have children?
Gwen Stefanie - Cool (so what is that suppose to mean?)
What is some good advice for me?
Billie Myers - Kiss The Rain
How will I be remembered?
Broken Social Scene - Fire Eye'd Boy
What is my signature dancing song?
Sugar Ray - Mr Bartender (not really...)
What do I think my current theme song is?
Frou Frou - Psychobabble
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Cher - It's in Hiss Kiss
What song will play at my funeral?
JJ Lim - Shakespeare's Talent
What type of men/women do I like?
Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc
Emil Chou and Qi Yu - Tian Xia You Qing Ren
What is my day going to be like?
Simply Red - Sunrise
Apr 19, 2006
i would just like to state a disclaimer for this page.
This page practises self-censorship. The enlightened viewer can choose not read this page if he/she feels uncomfortable with the content that deals with sensitive issues such as human rights, personal rights and assorted life events
By ignoring this statement and reading onwards, you have given up all rights to be offended by this page and at no point in time, will you be allowed to voice your unhappiness and/or discontent.
This page practises self-censorship. The enlightened viewer can choose not read this page if he/she feels uncomfortable with the content that deals with sensitive issues such as human rights, personal rights and assorted life events
By ignoring this statement and reading onwards, you have given up all rights to be offended by this page and at no point in time, will you be allowed to voice your unhappiness and/or discontent.
don't you just hate two sided people who just have to pretend to be 'it'. so what if you are not the 'it' one, does it really matter. it is just so irritating to have "oh my god they rock, they are so good" then on another occasion it just becomes "they suck its crappy" just at the turn of the head. just because. just because of the extreme desire to be extremely different. no rhyme or reason. if they have it, its "so cool" or "its so hot", but when someone else has it, it suddenly becomes (cue affected tone) "thats so 2 hours ago"
its just bothers me that it is not casual for self entertainment bitching. its so two faced. gross. at least when i say something, i say the same behind the person's back and in front of the person. painfully honest yeah, but at least that much less hypocritical
its just bothers me that it is not casual for self entertainment bitching. its so two faced. gross. at least when i say something, i say the same behind the person's back and in front of the person. painfully honest yeah, but at least that much less hypocritical
Apr 18, 2006
reading about deforestation really gets to you. coupled with being bruised in exams, really dampens the mood. i left early simply because there was nothing else to write. everything i knew i wrote, i could not have arm-twisted any more facts out of my brain.
simply fell apart last night from studying. screamed my head off. first time i lost my head mugging huh. and the most embarassing thing was that halfway through the exams, i realised i didn't study one chapter. one out of 10. 10% gone. the girl next to me almost handed up a blank script.
double major in psych still?
simply fell apart last night from studying. screamed my head off. first time i lost my head mugging huh. and the most embarassing thing was that halfway through the exams, i realised i didn't study one chapter. one out of 10. 10% gone. the girl next to me almost handed up a blank script.
double major in psych still?
Apr 17, 2006
i swear that this is the first i felt so dumbfounded as i sat there and digested the exam questions. i was motionless for about 5 minutes and i realised i don't have too much time to think. It was all within expectations, but the questions were so specific its hard to wring your way and arm-twist an argument without having concrete facts as required by the exams.
hope i do well. i absolutely cannot get a B, if i must endeavour on with my double major (which is nothing like SMU's double degree where they have overlapping modules) i need a helluva 13 extra modules which means i need to chalk up 29 more credits than normal people before i get my 2nd major, this also means i have to overload each semester and max out my summer sessions.
fantastic aei?
hope i do well. i absolutely cannot get a B, if i must endeavour on with my double major (which is nothing like SMU's double degree where they have overlapping modules) i need a helluva 13 extra modules which means i need to chalk up 29 more credits than normal people before i get my 2nd major, this also means i have to overload each semester and max out my summer sessions.
fantastic aei?
Apr 14, 2006
exams started yesterday. an alright start i must say. but i SUed the subject, so it doesn't really matter. Its just Satisfactory/Unsatisfactory. No ABCDEF to freak me out. I am too concerned about my grades. I went hysterical knowing i got a B for my term paper and presentation, but i was very upset because i don't think i deserve a B, it is the worse grade i've got. B. my only other B was an annotated biblio i did the night before; others spent weeks doing it. so i derserved that B. but for this, its just intsructor bias. She hates my political view, she says i am cynical, therefore i don't deserve an A. is it a crime to be cynical? am i not the product of this country that made me so anti-establishment, so cynical. i could murder that bitch. i must get my A!!!!! if i don't get 4.2 and above for this GPA and don't make dean's list i think i would just go and hang myself.
why? because all my fucking friends are scholars who are overseas. if they are in singapore they are all lawyers or people with 4.7 for their GPA in SMU they get 3.9. They have their own cars and mansions and i am just freaking loser. not because my parents can't provide for me (i will always provide for myself, if my dad can't afford a car, i'll get my own when i work)
pardon me, exam stress. a strange classmate who gets better grades than me told a friend that he thinks i am smart. i can play, i can skip lessons and i get my grades. he claims he's just a mugger. you know how i wish i was perfect. good skin, good figure, play fantastic guitar get my good grades and have a life too. i want to do everything. rich doesn't count because that is parents, i don't want to depend on my parents for my own narcissistic desires.
why? because all my fucking friends are scholars who are overseas. if they are in singapore they are all lawyers or people with 4.7 for their GPA in SMU they get 3.9. They have their own cars and mansions and i am just freaking loser. not because my parents can't provide for me (i will always provide for myself, if my dad can't afford a car, i'll get my own when i work)
pardon me, exam stress. a strange classmate who gets better grades than me told a friend that he thinks i am smart. i can play, i can skip lessons and i get my grades. he claims he's just a mugger. you know how i wish i was perfect. good skin, good figure, play fantastic guitar get my good grades and have a life too. i want to do everything. rich doesn't count because that is parents, i don't want to depend on my parents for my own narcissistic desires.
Apr 13, 2006
and every fucking single day of my life, i will kick myself in the ass for having a slipped disc. for not being able to be the pilot that i could be. and every single fucking day, seeing everyone with their wings on, hearing the plane roar past, hear all the amazing stories, i will feel that slightest want to just tear.
Apr 12, 2006
I quote you section 12 of the Constitution of The Republic of Singapore
Equal protection
12. ?(1) All persons are equal before the law and entitled to the equal protection of the law.
(2) Except as expressly authorised by this Constitution, there shall be no discrimination against citizens of Singapore on the ground only of religion, race, descent or place of birth in any law or in the appointment to any office or employment under a public authority or in the administration of any law relating to the acquisition, holding or disposition of property or the establishing or carrying on of any trade, business, profession, vocation or employment.
(3) This Article does not invalidate or prohibit ?
(a) any provision regulating personal law; or
(b) any provision or practice restricting office or employment connected with the affairs of any religion, or of an institution managed by a group professing any religion, to persons professing that religion.
#####
Everybody is fair and equal it seems,
So when PM Lee says "Whenever it comes to upgrading between the PAP and the opposition ward, it has to be the PAP first or else how do we explain to voters that they supported us and we did not pay attention to their needs? So that remains the policy. In Hougang and Potong Pasir, I think both Eric and Sitoh have ideas on what they want to do for their constituencies and these ideas include upgrading."
here http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/198692/1/.html
and SM Goh says :"My own view is Hougang should be upgraded, otherwise another five years, another 10 years, it would become rather derelict compared to other estates in Singapore."
"He is worried that the opposition wards of Hougang and Potong Pasir would be left behind. "
"After that, we got to ask ourselves whether the estate is worthwhile upgrading. I'm talking about Lorong 8. By then, the estate would be around 35 years old and the lease is only 99 years, so economically, is it worthwhile?
"My own view is Hougang should be upgraded, otherwise another five years, another 10 years, it would become rather derelict compared to other estates in Singapore."
here http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/199982/1/.html
and here http://sg.news.yahoo.com/060326/5/singapore199982.html
it sounded as if the opposition wards will not get any upgrades and will be less likely to be in line for government subsidies
Equal protection
12. ?(1) All persons are equal before the law and entitled to the equal protection of the law.
(2) Except as expressly authorised by this Constitution, there shall be no discrimination against citizens of Singapore on the ground only of religion, race, descent or place of birth in any law or in the appointment to any office or employment under a public authority or in the administration of any law relating to the acquisition, holding or disposition of property or the establishing or carrying on of any trade, business, profession, vocation or employment.
(3) This Article does not invalidate or prohibit ?
(a) any provision regulating personal law; or
(b) any provision or practice restricting office or employment connected with the affairs of any religion, or of an institution managed by a group professing any religion, to persons professing that religion.
#####
Everybody is fair and equal it seems,
So when PM Lee says "Whenever it comes to upgrading between the PAP and the opposition ward, it has to be the PAP first or else how do we explain to voters that they supported us and we did not pay attention to their needs? So that remains the policy. In Hougang and Potong Pasir, I think both Eric and Sitoh have ideas on what they want to do for their constituencies and these ideas include upgrading."
here http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/198692/1/.html
and SM Goh says :"My own view is Hougang should be upgraded, otherwise another five years, another 10 years, it would become rather derelict compared to other estates in Singapore."
"He is worried that the opposition wards of Hougang and Potong Pasir would be left behind. "
"After that, we got to ask ourselves whether the estate is worthwhile upgrading. I'm talking about Lorong 8. By then, the estate would be around 35 years old and the lease is only 99 years, so economically, is it worthwhile?
"My own view is Hougang should be upgraded, otherwise another five years, another 10 years, it would become rather derelict compared to other estates in Singapore."
here http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/199982/1/.html
and here http://sg.news.yahoo.com/060326/5/singapore199982.html
it sounded as if the opposition wards will not get any upgrades and will be less likely to be in line for government subsidies
Apr 9, 2006
the frequency of my posting have not been amazing huh. oh well, life's an endless routine of mundanes with hilarious nuggets of scenes flashing in between on the long trecherous journey to death. exams are just around the bend, i mean seriously if you peeked over the corner, you can see my papers lining up. like those armarda of army contingents from world war 1. no rest in sight. and to top it up, i am feeling sick!
Apr 1, 2006
i can't take all this alone. i am not superman. i need somebody too.
"I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me
I’m more than a bird...I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see
It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you conceed
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me
Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
It’s not easy to be me" - Superman, Five for Fighting
"I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me
I’m more than a bird...I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see
It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you conceed
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me
Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
It’s not easy to be me" - Superman, Five for Fighting
something that always disturbs me to no end is how certain people can actually say that the killing as humane. As if killing can ever be humane. What exactly is humane; if humane means compassion as only a human can show, then i suppose its not that far off since humans are the only ones that can torture abuse and kill another fellow human, and/or animals without feeling anything about it.
i think the only species that ever deserves to go extinct is human. May we all kill ourselves soon so that the earth can be in peace once again.
i think the only species that ever deserves to go extinct is human. May we all kill ourselves soon so that the earth can be in peace once again.
Mar 19, 2006
click here for a book every singaporean must have.
amazon's best seller in number one and two place. varying from time to time, 3 years after it is published.
buy it!
amazon's best seller in number one and two place. varying from time to time, 3 years after it is published.
buy it!
Mar 16, 2006
Mar 12, 2006
As taken off sgforums here http://politics.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=100015&page=0
July 2004
POTONG PASIR TOWN CENTRE
(Lift Upgrading Programme)
8. Mr Chiam See Tong asked the Minister for National Development whether, in the light of the recent National Day Rally speech where the Prime Minister said that Singapore must take good care of its senior citizens, his Ministry will now allow the Potong Pasir Town Council to make lifts stop at every floor in all the blocks of flats that are currently undergoing the town council's Lift Upgrading Programme.
The Minister of State for National Development (Mr Cedric Foo Chee Keng) (for the Minister for National Development): Mr Speaker, Sir, all town councils, including the Potong Pasir Town Council, are free to carry out their own Lift Upgrading Programme which may include providing for lift access on every floor. What they cannot do is to finance such major upgrading works solely or substantially from town council funds. Let me explain.
Town councils (TCs) are largely funded by service and conservancy charges (S&CC) collected from residents as well as grants from the Government. The Government has to ensure that TCs use these funds prudently for the benefit of the majority of their residents over the long term. This is why TCs are required by the Town Councils Act to lock away 30% to 35% of their funds into a sinking fund, to ensure that they have adequate funds in the long term to do major cyclical works like repainting, re-roofing, replacing lifts and replacing water-supply systems. The remaining 65% to 70% of the funds are used for routine operating expenditure, such as cleaning, repairs and utility charges.
Lift upgrading works which will enable lifts to stop at every floor are major structural upgrading. They are very costly. Town councils' funds are neither intended nor adequate for this purpose. Therefore, under the Government's Lift Upgrading Programme, town councils fund only a small portion of the total cost and the bulk of the cost is borne by the Government.
Mr Chiam See Tong (Potong Pasir): Sir, I have got two supplementary questions for the Minister of State. What are the reasons for HDB in not allowing lifts to stop at every floor at Lorong 8, Toa Payoh, of the Potong Pasir Constituency? And will HDB Lift Upgrading Programme be implemented at Potong Pasir estate?
Mr Cedric Foo Chee Keng: Sir, as I said earlier, town councils are free to do major upgrading programme for the lifts, including providing for lifts to stop at every floor. However, the town councils cannot use town council's funds to substantially finance such upgrading works. If I may refer the Member to the Potong Pasir Town Council's accounts, just as an example. Potong Pasir has a balance of $8 million in its sinking fund. If he does the cyclical repairs for the 12 blocks that he is right now doing, it will cost him $4 million. So he would have $4 million left. But if he were to do upgrading in a manner which allows lifts to stop at every floor, that would cost another $12 million for this LUP, which means he will be short of $8 million. So the Potong Pasir Town Council really does not have sufficient balance in its sinking fund to do major lift upgrading works.
Sir, the Member's second question is whether or not Potong Pasir Town Council will get the Government's Lift Upgrading Programme. To-date, the Government has done about 600 blocks of LUP and there are about 3,000 eligible blocks remaining. So we have completed roughly 17%. Lift upgrading is selected based on several criteria, ie, the block configuration, the needs of the residents, the geographical spread, and also the degree of support from the residents. We need to bear in mind that it is the whole range of Government policies and programmes that bring about budget surpluses that allow us to do such improvement programmes. Hence, all things being equal, residents who support and vote for the Government policies would be given higher priority in upgrading.
Mr Chiam See Tong: With due respect to the Minister of State, I have been the Chairman of the Potong Pasir Town Council for 15 years now. And I think we know what funds can be used for lift upgrading and what funds cannot be used. I can assure the Minister of State that we do have sufficient funds in the sinking fund to carry out both our Lift Upgrading Programme at Lorong 8, Toa Payoh, and also the R&R works that we are going to do at Potong Pasir estate. Of course, we have to get permission from HDB to do our lift upgrading at Lorong 8, Toa Payoh. But the HDB specifically says, "Ok, you can go ahead and do lift upgrading.", but they do not allow us to make the lifts to stop at every floor. So I want to know what is the reason. We do not spend $12 million, as the Minister has said. The lift upgrading for 29 lifts only cost us just over $2 million. I do not know where he gets his figures from.
Mr Cedric Foo Chee Keng: Sir, as I said earlier, the town councils are free to do lift upgrading, including providing for lift access to every floor. What it cannot do is to use the sinking fund for such major structural works which include lift stops at every floor. And this is quite plain. Sinking fund is provided for all sorts of cyclical works, not just lift upgrading works. It could be replacement of lifts, water systems, and so forth. So if a particular town council were to use its sinking fund purely to do major structural upgrading works, like allowing lifts to stop at every floor, then it would be an inappropriate use of the sinking fund. Just a back-of-the-envelope calculation, for a 4-room flat, the Member would know that we collect about $50 per month for S&CC. So multiply that by 12, it is about $600 a year. And if one-third of $600 is set aside for sinking fund, that is $200. To do a lift upgrading programme which allows a lift to stop at every floor would cost per benefiting unit something like $4,000 at the lowest, that is, for common corridor type of flats. You take $4,000 and divide by 200, it will take you 20 years. You will have to collect 20 years of sinking fund from the residents.
Mr Chiam also has six segmented blocks and those cost a lot more, six times more or $24,000 to do lift upgrading works per benefiting unit. This means 20 x 6, or 120 years of collection of sinking fund from the residents before such works can be completed. So I think my numbers are clear. We have done our research. It will be very difficult and inappropriate for the town council to use its sinking fund for such purposes.
Mr Chiam See Tong: I think the Minister of State does not know what is happening at Lorong 8, Toa Payoh. When I said lift upgrading, actually what we are doing is replacing all the lifts there. We are ripping off all the old lifts which are about 30 years old, throwing them away and putting new computerised motors in them. And all these are paid for from the sinking fund. We have checked with HDB and we are allowed to use the sinking fund to replace the lifts, and I believe the Minister also said that earlier. When we talk of upgrading, it is a general term, but what we are actually doing is that we are replacing all the lifts there, and we do have enough funds for them. As I said, the total cost is just over $2 million. As the Minister has mentioned, we have got $8 million. I think we do have enough money. The point is that we have replaced the lifts in its present situation ---
Mr Speaker: Mr Chiam, you are making a speech. What is your question?
Mr Chiam See Tong: I still want to know the reasons why we are not allowed to make the lift to stop at every floor, especially the point block flats. No reasons are given. They said, we cannot. Why? We have got enough money.
Mr Cedric Foo Chee Keng: Sir, Mr Chiam maintains that the Potong Pasir Town Council has enough money. It is granted that they have enough money to do the normal cyclical works which may even include replacement of the lifts. But what he is suggesting now is to allow the lift to stop at every floor. What that means is that you will have to do major structural works, creating lift landings where there are none today, knocking off part of the walls to create the lift landing. And for the six segmented blocks that Mr Chiam has in Toa Payoh Lorong 8, of which I have visited, he will need to create extra lift shafts on top of just creating the access to every floor. And our estimation - and we have much experience in doing lift upgrading works - for a single segmented block is that the lift shafts would cost $1.8 million or so. And upgrading of the lift landing to serve every floor is about $400,000. So the total cost is $2.2 million. So that is $24,000 per unit, considering the number of benefiting units there. So as I have just calculated, if he wants to use S&CC for this purpose, then he will need to collect 120 years worth of S&CC funds from his residents just to do this major lift upgrading work, which is clearly inappropriate because the town council would still need to commit the sinking fund for all other kinds of works that it needs to do in its cyclical repairs.
Mr Speaker: Mr Chiam, is it the same question? Otherwise, we can go on to the next question.
Mr Chiam See Tong: We need some explanation.
Mr Speaker: You are not specific. What is your question?
Mr Chiam See Tong: It is still the same question.
Mr Speaker: If it is the same question, the same answer will be given.
Mr Chiam See Tong: The point is that now the Minister mentions the segmented blocks. What we wrote to HDB was only for the point blocks for the lifts to stop at every floor. And at the moment, our contract price with the contractors is that the lifts are put in place with the machine to stop at every floor. So when permission is given, what we need to do is just to knock a hole in the wall, make a door for the lift to stop. It is easily adjusted. So the cost would not be as great as what the Minister says. I cannot give him offhand how much the contractors will charge us for knocking down the walls at every floor. But that is the situation and we do have enough money. So the money is not the question. But we still do not know the reasons why permission is not given.
Mr Cedric Foo Chee Keng: Sir, even for point blocks, HDB's experience, after conducting over 600 blocks of LUP, shows that it costs something like $600,000. Therefore, for the benefiting units there, it would cost about $8,000 per benefiting unit. So let me repeat again. If it is $8,000, it would take 40 years to collect S&CC charges. Moreover, if the Member proceeds to do so just for the six point blocks, even if it costs $600,000 per block and multiply it by 6, that is $3.6 million. That would be almost half the $8 million that the Member would have. The Member would have to justify to the rest of the residents why half of the sinking funds is committed to benefit only six blocks out of the 61 blocks that he has at Potong Pasir.
Mr Chiam See Tong rose ---
Mr Speaker: Mr Chiam, I think you are looking at it from a different perspective. I doubt we can resolve this. You will be getting the same answer anyway.
Mr Chiam See Tong: I am asking a straightforward question. Permission is not given to Potong Pasir for the lifts to stop at every floor. Is it because it is an Opposition ward?
Mr Speaker: I suggest we go to the next Question. Mdm Ho Geok Choo.
July 2004
POTONG PASIR TOWN CENTRE
(Lift Upgrading Programme)
8. Mr Chiam See Tong asked the Minister for National Development whether, in the light of the recent National Day Rally speech where the Prime Minister said that Singapore must take good care of its senior citizens, his Ministry will now allow the Potong Pasir Town Council to make lifts stop at every floor in all the blocks of flats that are currently undergoing the town council's Lift Upgrading Programme.
The Minister of State for National Development (Mr Cedric Foo Chee Keng) (for the Minister for National Development): Mr Speaker, Sir, all town councils, including the Potong Pasir Town Council, are free to carry out their own Lift Upgrading Programme which may include providing for lift access on every floor. What they cannot do is to finance such major upgrading works solely or substantially from town council funds. Let me explain.
Town councils (TCs) are largely funded by service and conservancy charges (S&CC) collected from residents as well as grants from the Government. The Government has to ensure that TCs use these funds prudently for the benefit of the majority of their residents over the long term. This is why TCs are required by the Town Councils Act to lock away 30% to 35% of their funds into a sinking fund, to ensure that they have adequate funds in the long term to do major cyclical works like repainting, re-roofing, replacing lifts and replacing water-supply systems. The remaining 65% to 70% of the funds are used for routine operating expenditure, such as cleaning, repairs and utility charges.
Lift upgrading works which will enable lifts to stop at every floor are major structural upgrading. They are very costly. Town councils' funds are neither intended nor adequate for this purpose. Therefore, under the Government's Lift Upgrading Programme, town councils fund only a small portion of the total cost and the bulk of the cost is borne by the Government.
Mr Chiam See Tong (Potong Pasir): Sir, I have got two supplementary questions for the Minister of State. What are the reasons for HDB in not allowing lifts to stop at every floor at Lorong 8, Toa Payoh, of the Potong Pasir Constituency? And will HDB Lift Upgrading Programme be implemented at Potong Pasir estate?
Mr Cedric Foo Chee Keng: Sir, as I said earlier, town councils are free to do major upgrading programme for the lifts, including providing for lifts to stop at every floor. However, the town councils cannot use town council's funds to substantially finance such upgrading works. If I may refer the Member to the Potong Pasir Town Council's accounts, just as an example. Potong Pasir has a balance of $8 million in its sinking fund. If he does the cyclical repairs for the 12 blocks that he is right now doing, it will cost him $4 million. So he would have $4 million left. But if he were to do upgrading in a manner which allows lifts to stop at every floor, that would cost another $12 million for this LUP, which means he will be short of $8 million. So the Potong Pasir Town Council really does not have sufficient balance in its sinking fund to do major lift upgrading works.
Sir, the Member's second question is whether or not Potong Pasir Town Council will get the Government's Lift Upgrading Programme. To-date, the Government has done about 600 blocks of LUP and there are about 3,000 eligible blocks remaining. So we have completed roughly 17%. Lift upgrading is selected based on several criteria, ie, the block configuration, the needs of the residents, the geographical spread, and also the degree of support from the residents. We need to bear in mind that it is the whole range of Government policies and programmes that bring about budget surpluses that allow us to do such improvement programmes. Hence, all things being equal, residents who support and vote for the Government policies would be given higher priority in upgrading.
Mr Chiam See Tong: With due respect to the Minister of State, I have been the Chairman of the Potong Pasir Town Council for 15 years now. And I think we know what funds can be used for lift upgrading and what funds cannot be used. I can assure the Minister of State that we do have sufficient funds in the sinking fund to carry out both our Lift Upgrading Programme at Lorong 8, Toa Payoh, and also the R&R works that we are going to do at Potong Pasir estate. Of course, we have to get permission from HDB to do our lift upgrading at Lorong 8, Toa Payoh. But the HDB specifically says, "Ok, you can go ahead and do lift upgrading.", but they do not allow us to make the lifts to stop at every floor. So I want to know what is the reason. We do not spend $12 million, as the Minister has said. The lift upgrading for 29 lifts only cost us just over $2 million. I do not know where he gets his figures from.
Mr Cedric Foo Chee Keng: Sir, as I said earlier, the town councils are free to do lift upgrading, including providing for lift access to every floor. What it cannot do is to use the sinking fund for such major structural works which include lift stops at every floor. And this is quite plain. Sinking fund is provided for all sorts of cyclical works, not just lift upgrading works. It could be replacement of lifts, water systems, and so forth. So if a particular town council were to use its sinking fund purely to do major structural upgrading works, like allowing lifts to stop at every floor, then it would be an inappropriate use of the sinking fund. Just a back-of-the-envelope calculation, for a 4-room flat, the Member would know that we collect about $50 per month for S&CC. So multiply that by 12, it is about $600 a year. And if one-third of $600 is set aside for sinking fund, that is $200. To do a lift upgrading programme which allows a lift to stop at every floor would cost per benefiting unit something like $4,000 at the lowest, that is, for common corridor type of flats. You take $4,000 and divide by 200, it will take you 20 years. You will have to collect 20 years of sinking fund from the residents.
Mr Chiam also has six segmented blocks and those cost a lot more, six times more or $24,000 to do lift upgrading works per benefiting unit. This means 20 x 6, or 120 years of collection of sinking fund from the residents before such works can be completed. So I think my numbers are clear. We have done our research. It will be very difficult and inappropriate for the town council to use its sinking fund for such purposes.
Mr Chiam See Tong: I think the Minister of State does not know what is happening at Lorong 8, Toa Payoh. When I said lift upgrading, actually what we are doing is replacing all the lifts there. We are ripping off all the old lifts which are about 30 years old, throwing them away and putting new computerised motors in them. And all these are paid for from the sinking fund. We have checked with HDB and we are allowed to use the sinking fund to replace the lifts, and I believe the Minister also said that earlier. When we talk of upgrading, it is a general term, but what we are actually doing is that we are replacing all the lifts there, and we do have enough funds for them. As I said, the total cost is just over $2 million. As the Minister has mentioned, we have got $8 million. I think we do have enough money. The point is that we have replaced the lifts in its present situation ---
Mr Speaker: Mr Chiam, you are making a speech. What is your question?
Mr Chiam See Tong: I still want to know the reasons why we are not allowed to make the lift to stop at every floor, especially the point block flats. No reasons are given. They said, we cannot. Why? We have got enough money.
Mr Cedric Foo Chee Keng: Sir, Mr Chiam maintains that the Potong Pasir Town Council has enough money. It is granted that they have enough money to do the normal cyclical works which may even include replacement of the lifts. But what he is suggesting now is to allow the lift to stop at every floor. What that means is that you will have to do major structural works, creating lift landings where there are none today, knocking off part of the walls to create the lift landing. And for the six segmented blocks that Mr Chiam has in Toa Payoh Lorong 8, of which I have visited, he will need to create extra lift shafts on top of just creating the access to every floor. And our estimation - and we have much experience in doing lift upgrading works - for a single segmented block is that the lift shafts would cost $1.8 million or so. And upgrading of the lift landing to serve every floor is about $400,000. So the total cost is $2.2 million. So that is $24,000 per unit, considering the number of benefiting units there. So as I have just calculated, if he wants to use S&CC for this purpose, then he will need to collect 120 years worth of S&CC funds from his residents just to do this major lift upgrading work, which is clearly inappropriate because the town council would still need to commit the sinking fund for all other kinds of works that it needs to do in its cyclical repairs.
Mr Speaker: Mr Chiam, is it the same question? Otherwise, we can go on to the next question.
Mr Chiam See Tong: We need some explanation.
Mr Speaker: You are not specific. What is your question?
Mr Chiam See Tong: It is still the same question.
Mr Speaker: If it is the same question, the same answer will be given.
Mr Chiam See Tong: The point is that now the Minister mentions the segmented blocks. What we wrote to HDB was only for the point blocks for the lifts to stop at every floor. And at the moment, our contract price with the contractors is that the lifts are put in place with the machine to stop at every floor. So when permission is given, what we need to do is just to knock a hole in the wall, make a door for the lift to stop. It is easily adjusted. So the cost would not be as great as what the Minister says. I cannot give him offhand how much the contractors will charge us for knocking down the walls at every floor. But that is the situation and we do have enough money. So the money is not the question. But we still do not know the reasons why permission is not given.
Mr Cedric Foo Chee Keng: Sir, even for point blocks, HDB's experience, after conducting over 600 blocks of LUP, shows that it costs something like $600,000. Therefore, for the benefiting units there, it would cost about $8,000 per benefiting unit. So let me repeat again. If it is $8,000, it would take 40 years to collect S&CC charges. Moreover, if the Member proceeds to do so just for the six point blocks, even if it costs $600,000 per block and multiply it by 6, that is $3.6 million. That would be almost half the $8 million that the Member would have. The Member would have to justify to the rest of the residents why half of the sinking funds is committed to benefit only six blocks out of the 61 blocks that he has at Potong Pasir.
Mr Chiam See Tong rose ---
Mr Speaker: Mr Chiam, I think you are looking at it from a different perspective. I doubt we can resolve this. You will be getting the same answer anyway.
Mr Chiam See Tong: I am asking a straightforward question. Permission is not given to Potong Pasir for the lifts to stop at every floor. Is it because it is an Opposition ward?
Mr Speaker: I suggest we go to the next Question. Mdm Ho Geok Choo.
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